(Closed) Would you be mad if….

posted 7 years ago in Babies
  • poll: Would you be mad/hurt if family had not come to visit your new baby?
    yes : (87 votes)
    52 %
    no : (18 votes)
    11 %
    somewhat : (20 votes)
    12 %
    depends : (41 votes)
    25 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    3526 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I guess it depends.

    If there has been a lot on your plate lately then I would probably understand. But since it’s been almost a year I’m kinda surprised you haven’t even seen them over the holidays or anything?

    Distance would also make a difference.

    I have to say when I’m pregnant if my brothers did not come visit me in the months afterwards I probably would be pretty bummed.

    Post # 4
    Member
    2695 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2008

    Yeah, sorry, but if you feel like you are close at all, you should have visited with only a 5 hour drive to get there, busy or not.  If I were them, I would def. be hurt.  Its not too late to go and make up for it though!

    Post # 5
    Member
    6009 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    My daughter will be 1 in June, and one of my sisters hasn’t met her yet; she lives about 5 hours away.  Yes, it’s very hurtful to me.  My sister’s busy too (she works, goes to school, is a single mom, and is planning her wedding for this summer), but I think her excuses about being too busy are just that, excuses.  If she wanted to find the time, she would, and the fact that she hasn’t come up to visit tells me that she doesn’t care about our relationship and she doesn’t care about my daughter.  And, honestly, when it comes to your kids, it’s not nearly as easy to forgive stuff like this.

    Appologize to your SIL and go see your nephew.  You’re already feeling guilty, which means you know it’s the right thing to do.  Even if it’s just a few hours, it would probably mean the world to your SIL to have you come visit and meet her son.

    Post # 6
    Member
    2821 posts
    Sugar bee

    I have to agree with everyone else, I’d be really hurt, 5 hours isn’t that much to find some time. 

    But Mrs Spring has a great solution, apologize and put in the effort now.  One of my friends (I was Maid/Matron of Honor in her wedding) blew me off for years but recently took a trip up while I was pregnant to introduce me to her son she just adopted (I had tried to go visit her and he got sick the day before).  It really meant so much to me that she was busy but didn’t expect me to rearrange everything to go visit her again, it was only a few hours of a visit but it went a long way in repairing our relationship and really meant a lot.

    Post # 7
    Member
    2299 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I wouldn’t be hurt personally. I don’t want any family visiting. We live 6 hours away and of course they’ll make us travel down with a new born which isn’t going to happen. We’ll come down when we’re ready which might be when the baby’s a year old. They’ll probably just stalk my dh on fb and look at pictures. That’s enough for us!

    Post # 8
    Member
    3222 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    It depends for me. I just moved 500 miles away from all of my family, so while I would understand if they couldn’t make it, I would probably be a little hurt if they didn’t try to come see me. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    6572 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2010

    My baby is due in July and my sister already told me she’s not coming until the end of Aug. I’m kind of upset just by that! I know she’s excited for me, but she’s choosing to go see her boyfriend over seeing my baby, and I think she could have timed it better. But then again I feel like it’s her loss, she’ll never be able to get that back and see her as a tiny newborn.

    Post # 10
    Member
    7771 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    It depends.

    My family lives in NYC, Colorado, Montana, Hawaii, and Sweden- so no, I wouldn’t be too hurt because those are HUGE trips to make.

    However, 5 hours is nothing to me.  When my sister lived 10 hours we would regularly visit, because we are used to so much more distance.

    In general though, I think people understand- but honestly it is a little surprising in this case because it is not that far.  But time slips by and it all depends on your life and relationship.

    Post # 11
    Member
    5977 posts
    Bee Keeper

    @Mrs. Spring: I think you put it perfectly.

    I think that if you really wanted to, you would make the time to go see the baby. It’s much harder to forigve the offenses against your kids than it is to forgive the offences to yourself. I’d be pretty hurt if one of my brothers couldn’t be bothered enough to see a baby 6 months old!

    Post # 12
    Member
    1835 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    Our immediate family lives within an hour drive. I expect them to be visiting at the birth center, lol. However, the rest of our families live across the country, across the ocean… so I completely understand them not visiting for a while. We all have skype, so it’s not like they’ll never see the kid. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    1813 posts
    Buzzing bee

    All of our siblings (up to 9 hours away with their own kids) came down to help us.  I had some issues and needed help, but I’m guessing anyone with a newborn needs help.

    I think you should plan a trip ASAP and also make some sort of guesture like a gift card for healthy take out.  I don’t know your situation, though, with schedule/$.  Babies change so much every month (if not day) you really need to be part of your nephew’s life.  Especially since you are having kids of your own, hopefully soon…would you want them to come visit before a year?

    Post # 14
    Member
    2867 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    It would depend on how often I see that relative. If I only see them at family gatherings then probably not but if we were close then I’d be hurt. Do you see her often?

    My baby bro lives in Japan and I told him not to come visit till the baby is older and more “fun”. In your situation, unless she’s been asking you to come see the baby, it probably doesn’t matter.

    Post # 15
    Member
    10367 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    I think that door swings both ways. She could come visit you, too, with only a 5 hour drive. My family all live 3-7 hour plane rides away, so I will be very understanding of them not coming right away.

    Post # 16
    Member
    5110 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: November 2011

    I would be a little hurt if it were my sister.. Everyone is busy and time sure does fly… but my son will also be one in may.. and even our relatives from AZ have seen him and we live in IL.. But it depends on how often you see them any other time etc. things going on in your lives.

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