Post # 1
A one time physical fling or a long time emotional relationship between your SO and someone else?
I was listening to my morning show this morning on my way to work and they were talking about chatting vs cheating. About some ppl would have an emotional relationship with someone else or have a one time physical thing.
The hosts were torn between both, one was saying that he would be more lenient to forgive a one time fling and the other host was like heck no, he would rather have his gf physically cheat than emotionally cheat.
For me I don’t think I can forgive both. But the emotional relationship would hurt me the most. To know that Fiance was talking to someone else about his feelings, pouring out his heart and other stuff instead of me, I think that would kill me most than to have sex for one time.
How do you feel about this? I will add a poll as well.
ETA: I forgot to add the None option :S
Post # 3
I think I’d be more mad at Darling Husband for a fling, more mad at life for an emotional relationship. I think that two people falling in love is unavoidable and I’d be most upset he wasn’t in love with me. I’ve heard tons of stories/movies about people who fall in love even though they’re married to other people. I think it happens.
I’m not sure I could forgive either… I really hold a grudge.
Post # 4
I voted wrong. I, for some reason, read it as you asking which was worse so I clicked on emotional relationship. So, don’t count my vote!
Post # 6
@LemonLavender: I just added that option, forgot to add it.
Post # 7
I would struggle with both. I couldn’t say one way or another unless I were in the situation, but right now I don’t think I could forgive either.
Post # 8
my friendsand i have debated this before and i think we all agree that there is no forgiving an out and out affair, which to us means a full-fledged emotional relationship (with sex too, of course).
as of now, i could not tolerate either. BUT if we had a couple kids and had been building our life together for like 15 years and he told me that he had had a purely physical one-time slip up… i MIGHT be able to forgive that.
an emotional relationship with another woman is a choice he would be making every day, it would be lies and lies by omission. my trust in him would be fractured beyond repair.
Post # 9
Post # 10
I voted for a physical relationship because I would have an easier time forgiving that (though it would still be difficult) but I’d also consider forgiving an emotional affair.
The counselor at our group session told us that if you get married saying “I’ll forgive anything but that” you might as well not get married, because you’re already giving yourself a loophole. I thought it was a little harsh but also really interesting? We’re Catholic, so we really think this marriage is an all-or-nothing, but I like thought of letting go of that hangup.
That said, I certainly am not judging anyone else’s decisions or how you want to go into your marriage– I just hadn’t heard it before so thought it was fun to play with. The session was a little draining though– 9 hours of talking about how couples fight and what tears people apart and how to be angry? FI and I aren’t really fighters but it made me a litlte anxious!
Post # 11
a one-time physical encounter I could forgive.
him falling in love with someone else? That might be too much to overcome.
Post # 12
I am not 100% sure I could forgive either, but if I had to chose I would say a physical one time fling would be easier (for me) to forgive.
The only other thing that would affect my decision/choice to forgive, is if I knew the person that he had cheated with. If it was a person I knew and would see on a regular basis, I think I would have way too hard of time trying to forget and forgive. Is that strange?
Post # 13
I would forgive the physical encounter if it was a faceless stranger that I would never meet and he would never see again.
I would fogive an emotional affair if “I love you” was never exchanged.
So, I guess, I would be more inclined to forgive the physical affair.
Post # 14
I don’t think I could forgive either. A one-time physical thing would be a pretty big deal considering we waited for marriage and have only ever been with each other. An emotional affair would break my heart to. So I have to say that I couldn’t handle either.
Post # 15
I will never forgive a physical fling; I’d rather him cheat emotionally. To be honest, I’m not sure if I could get past either, but it would really depend on the details of the emotional affair. Any physical cheating will end our relationship.
Post # 16
I voted physical but now that I think about my answer more I would change it to neither! I think with an emotional relationship that person has already checked out or is looking for something better and it’s the same with a physical relationship. It’s really not that difficult to say, “Don’t put your tongue down my throat, I’m married”, but it can be if that person wants that to happen.