(Closed) Would you be more lenient to forgive?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Which one would you be lenient to forgive?
    Emotional relationship : (25 votes)
    10 %
    Physical one time fling : (103 votes)
    41 %
    Both : (7 votes)
    3 %
    None! : (119 votes)
    47 %
  • Post # 3
    3375 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I think I’d be more mad at Darling Husband for a fling, more mad at life for an emotional relationship. I think that two people falling in love is unavoidable and I’d be most upset he wasn’t in love with me. I’ve heard tons of stories/movies about people who fall in love even though they’re married to other people. I think it happens. 

    I’m not sure I could forgive either… I really hold a grudge.

    Post # 4
    1498 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    I voted wrong. I, for some reason, read it as you asking which was worse so I clicked on emotional relationship. So, don’t count my vote!


    Post # 5
    1052 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2014 - Cedar Lake Cellars

    How about neither?

    Post # 7
    1048 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I would struggle with both. I couldn’t say one way or another unless I were in the situation, but right now I don’t think I could forgive either.

    Post # 8
    1513 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    my friendsand i have debated this before and i think we all agree that there is no forgiving an out and out affair, which to us means a full-fledged emotional relationship (with sex too, of course).

    as of now, i could not tolerate either. BUT if we had a couple kids and had been building our life together for like 15 years and he told me that he had had a purely physical one-time slip up… i MIGHT be able to forgive that.

    an emotional relationship with another woman is a choice he would be making every day, it would be lies and lies by omission. my trust in him would be fractured beyond repair.

    Post # 10
    3220 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    I voted for a physical relationship because I would have an easier time forgiving that (though it would still be difficult) but I’d also consider forgiving an emotional affair. 

    The counselor at our group session told us that if you get married saying “I’ll forgive anything but that” you might as well not get married, because you’re already giving yourself a loophole.  I thought it was a little harsh but also really interesting?  We’re Catholic, so we really think this marriage is an all-or-nothing, but I like thought of letting go of that hangup.

    That said, I certainly am not judging anyone else’s decisions or how you want to go into your marriage– I just hadn’t heard it before so thought it was fun to play with.  The session was a little draining though– 9 hours of talking about how couples fight and what tears people apart and how to be angry?  FI and I aren’t really fighters but it made me a litlte anxious!

    Post # 11
    5075 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2012

    a one-time physical encounter I could forgive.

    him falling in love with someone else?  That might be too much to overcome.

    Post # 12
    533 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I am not 100% sure I could forgive either, but if I had to chose I would say a physical one time fling would be easier (for me) to forgive.

    The only other thing that would affect my decision/choice to forgive, is if I knew the person that he had cheated with. If it was a person I knew and would see on a regular basis, I think I would have way too hard of time trying to forget and forgive. Is that strange?

    Post # 13
    2401 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I would forgive the physical encounter if it was a faceless stranger that I would never meet and he would never see again.

    I would fogive an emotional affair if “I love you” was never exchanged.

    So, I guess, I would be more inclined to forgive the physical affair.

    Post # 14
    16213 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    I don’t think I could forgive either. A one-time physical thing would be a pretty big deal considering we waited for marriage and have only ever been with each other. An emotional affair would break my heart to. So I have to say that I couldn’t handle either.

    Post # 15
    7609 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    I will never forgive a physical fling; I’d rather him cheat emotionally.  To be honest, I’m not sure if I could get past either, but it would really depend on the details of the emotional affair.  Any physical cheating will end our relationship.

    Post # 16
    2233 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I voted physical but now that I think about my answer more I would change it to neither! I think  with an emotional relationship that person has already checked out or is looking for something better and it’s the same with a physical relationship. It’s really not that difficult to say, “Don’t put your tongue down my throat, I’m married”, but it can be if that person wants that to happen.

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