Post # 1
If you and your SO have only been with each other, do you think that makes either of you more or less likely to cheat (versus if you’ve both been with others)? Some of the replies on the thread about emotional/physical cheating made me think about this.
Fiance and I have only been with each other. On the one hand, I’d be EXTRA horrified if he cheated since it’s not like he was some lady-killer before we got together. But on the other hand, maybe he would want to see what else is out there.
I ASSUME NEITHER OF US WILL CHEAT. This is just something I wonder about.
Weigh in even if you’ve been with other people.
Post # 3
I think anyone’s capable of cheating.
If you’ve only been with one person, there’s the ‘what if’ factor. If you’ve been with multiple partners, you could get a craving for something you’ve experienced with someone else.
We’re all human and there is no guarantee that anyone won’t cheat.
Post # 4
I don’t think it goes either way, I think it totally depends on the person. I’m not sure!
I do think there’s that time in a relationship when the butterflies start going away and you start realizing you can be attracted to other people? Like when the new guy at the office comes in and you like oh heyyy… I think as long as you get past that hurdle before marriage, you can handle it!
Post # 5
I’ve been with one other person and so has Fiance. We had plenty of opportunities to be with more people before we met. It just wasn’t for us nor did we meet the right person. So, for us, we are less likely to cheat in my eyes. We came together for a reason and decided we were best for one another.
Post # 6
In nearly all cheating stories I hear… more often the cheater is less experienced.
Post # 7
There could be the religious factor too – if you (general “you”) two saved yourselves for marriage, then you may feel strongly about infidelity.
That’s not what we did. I can just imagine if Fiance cheated, I’d be like…. that’s something that only WE did together and now you’re doing it with someone else?!??!
Aghh that other thread gave me horrible thoughts
Post # 8
I’m not sure if I can give an objective poll answer, but I know that my husband and I have only been with each other and I think that does make him less likely to cheat (although so does everything else about our relationship and who we are as people). We’ve both fooled around with other people (no sex) so we sort of understand what other options look like, but I know for myself that giving him that part of me that I haven’t given to anyone else makes me less likely to cheat (I would NEVER cheat regardless, but I’m saying if I would hypothetically imagine a situation to asnwer a question like this, for example, the fact that he is my only one does come into play for me when entertaining anything hypothetical that would NEVER happen.)
ETA: redheadem, religion definitely plays a factor for us in feeling very strongly about infidelity, and it is the reason we waited.
Post # 9
@redheadem: Sorry, I didn’t mean to put that thread up to put horrible thoughts in your head hun 🙁
I personally think it depends on the person. I have been with many guys before Fiance and same for him (girls of course :p). But we never found the one that would settle us down until we found each other.
Post # 10
@couawilou: Haha no! It’s interesting to hear what people have to say. I’m pretty sure your reason for posting wasn’t aimed at me
Post # 11
I voted “more” but I seriously have no idea. I’m going on the assumption that more experienced people already know what’s out there and might have a better idea of what they want (virgin brides please don’t get mad at me, I’m speculating here!)! Maybe people who have never been with anyone else might eventually start to wonder, later down the road, if things don’t stay wonderful?
Post # 12
This is funny for me because SO was a huge player/lady killer before we started going out. I, on the other hand, have only been with him. I don’t think either one of us are more likely to cheat. Then again, I’m in the relationship so I like to think the best of us.
Post # 13
We’ve been together for 8 years, since we were 15. We’ve talked about it and I really think we (personally) are less likely to cheat because of the security and faithfulness of our relationship, we both think we have something great here and since we’ve never been with someone else we can’t be sure if we’re likely to have something this special with someone else.
It totally depens on each person and each relationship though.
Post # 14
- Wedding: September 2011 - Bent Creek Winery (Livermore, California); Reception: Family Residence (San Ramon, California)
I think everyone has the capacity to cheat, myself included. We’re all human, we all make mistakes. I think the best thing any of us can do is not set ourselves up for failure (i.e. “I would NEVER cheat”) and actively protect our relationships from unfaithfulness every single day.
Post # 15
I know, of course anyone CAN cheat; I am more interested in people’s reasoning for what they think.
Post # 16
@parasol: This is a great point. I don’t think you can ever let yourself get comfortable or quit actively not cheating? I used to think it was black-and-white and absolutely ridiculous to cheat on your partner, until a few years ago I was with an ex and almost kissed a different guy at a New Year’s Eve party! It had nothing to do with my relationship, nothing to do with caring about the random guy, I was just drunk and having a good time. I held that guy’s hand most of the night and played drinking games with him. Luckily I turned my head at the right moment when the countdown ended, but when I woke up the next morning (alone, don’t worry) I was absolutely shocked with myself. I had no idea it was that easy to fall into!