(Closed) would you be offended?

posted 9 years ago in Rings
Post # 18
Member
3773 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2004

@bella731:  I wouldn’t be offended but I do think it was pretty tasteless on his part.  I would have laughed it off without giving a direct answer to his nosy questions.

Post # 19
Member
1528 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

@bella731:  He was being intrusive. Perhaps he did so with good intentions, but it came out all wrong. 

My best advice: When asked a personal question that I find rude or intrusive, I smile and answer with one phrase: “Why ever would you want to know that?” Remember to look sincere and continue to smile. He might try to fill in the blanks, but don’t take the bait. He has already got the point and you will never be faulted for stooping down to his level. Wink

Post # 20
Member
1900 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Nah, I wouldn’t be offended at all. If anyone asks how much my ring cost, I usually say fiance got it out of a gumball machine for 20cents. Or it cost a billion trillion dollars.

I did get one funny comment from fiance’s uncle when he first saw it: “You could have bought a dishwasher for the cost of a ring like that! Oh wait, you did!” I generally assume most people aren’t trying to be offensive, unless they are known for being snarky. OP, I really wouldn’t worry about it.

Post # 21
Member
1412 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2019 - City, State

I think you’re offended by how the situation came up and apparently it came out of the mouth of someone you care for–or whose opinion matters to you. So I understand you feeling put off by it. You could be wearing a 5 carat diamond and still feel that way if a family member seems to be doubting whether your fiance is good enough for you, or is trying to be cheap with you, etc.

 

I would have just said, “don’t worry. We’ve got it covered.”

Post # 23
Member
7767 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Sounds pretty normal… I mean, a lot of people don’t have the same filters as I… (but yes, I suppose it is rude but typical).

Post # 24
Member
116 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2009

I wouldn’t be offended.  

Post # 25
Member
2977 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Asking what Fiance does for a living and if the ring is appraised/insured isn’t rude, IMO. Asking how much it costs, is.

 

Post # 26
Member
2891 posts
Sugar bee

Would I be offended? No.

Why? Because in our family finances are not a taboo topic and are openly discussed in detail. When we talk finances and financial choices they’re opportunities to learn and come judgement free in our circle.

Post # 27
Member
8467 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

Well asking how much any big purchase is can be very rude. I think asking how much one’s car or house cost is a lot ruder than how much a ring costs. I’m actually very happy with what my husband spent so I am not offended when I’ve had my friends ask. No family member ever asked. 

Post # 28
Member
1862 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

View original reply
@Eight6Eleven:  +1

the only part that I would find rude is asking how much it costs. To which, of course, I wouldn’t answer him. Or I’d be a smart ass and say it cost ten bucks. 

 

The other things said I wouldn’t find rude. I’d actually take it as a compliment. 

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