Post # 1
Just a quick question/vent,
One of my SO oldest friends she’s female, no kids, not settled down type, they’re were massively close growing up but not now see each other once a year maybe. SO didn’t even call her to tell her we’re expecting, let her find out through FB. She wasn’t offended, just trying to give you an example of their distant friendship.
Anyway SO and I decided to keep babies sex a secret. We want to be kerf alone abx have something that’s just ours. We did tell our parents that they were expecting a lovely Grandson but drew the line there. Everyone supports this and understands why we think it would be a nice surprise for people. Except his friend tried to get it out of SO initially, he told her strieght that she’d have to weight. She then tried me, I politely explained we were keeping it private. Then tonight , a month later she texts SO saying how she knows babies sex as shes been doing some ‘investigating’ and now knows it’s a boy. I’m so angry as is SO, I just feel that she’s completely disregarded our wishes and it’s incredibly disrespectful. I don’t want her any where near baby as she has a drug habit, not does SO.
If my friend was pregnant and wanted to keep certain things secret I would 100% respect that. Perhaps I’m overreacting but SO is usually pretty laid back and even he’s rattled by it.
would you bees be offended? Do I have a polite word with her if it comes up again? or admit I’ve over reacted and leave it? X
Post # 2
Yep I’d be offended. I’d probably respond that it was none of her business and black hole the rest of her message, but that’s me.
Post # 3
it’s just a little weird. i wouldn’t be offended i guess, and i wouldn’t bother bringing it up again, but i just wouldn’t go out of my way to invite her into my life or life events (it sounds like you and your SO are not anyway).
i mean, you may have overreacted (i don’t know how you reacted other than thinking it’s weird) — but she was definitely being a little creepy/weird/pushy about the whole thing.
it is what it is. but yeah, arms length sounds best.
Post # 4
Yorkshirerose1991: no, i would be pretty pissed. I dont know what type of relationship you have with her, if you feel comfortable mentioning something if it should come up, then do so. I would keep it short And then drop it.
I am curious to know who told her and how did she get it out of that person. I am assuming in a really sneaky way.
Post # 5
Well she had a 50/50 chance of figuring out the sex. A baby is either a boy or girl, so it isn’t that hard to figure out/guess. Would I be offended no, again because a baby can be one or the other, I think you are over reacting a wee bit. Believe me there are bigger hills to die on than this, let it roll of your back and go getting ready for your baby
Post # 6
I think I’d feel a little more… invaded? Than pissed.
Like, your not someone we see very often, your not important enough for us to personally phone you or even drop a text and tell you we’re expecting. And because we don’t offer information straight up you go sniffing around trying to find out what it is you want to know. Just abit of a wierdo.
My friends little sister, who I have on facebook, is expecting. I don’t speek to the sister ever really. When she got pregnant the sister I’m friends with told me over the phone what shes expecting and the name of the baby, and mentioned that aside from immediate family, noone knew. I never told the little sister I knew, didn’t particuarly care either. I think shed be abit wierded out if I started telling her I knew what she was having and what shes going to call them..
some people eh? So long as she keeps her trap shut it’s fine.
Post # 7
Yeah I haven’t really got a relationship with her. I’ve only met her once and she slent the entire talking to a random bloke in the pub.
Well the only people who know sex of baby is us two, my parents whom she doesn’t know and SO parents who she knows well as her and SO grew up together but they would never betray our wishes and haven’t seen her in over 2-3 years.
Im assuming she’s been hunting through Fb comments as a lot of people asked (naturally) but again we explained it’s a secret and every comment she’s ‘Liked’ she is quite sneaky according to SO so I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s testing us, which would make me very angry.
SO just sent her a text back saying
“well I suggest you check your sources as like I made clear the only people we’ve told and planning on telling is our parents and that’s that”
Post # 8
I’d be irritated, but not offended. I’d question her determination.
Post # 9
Invaded is the perfect way to describe my feelings! :/
Post # 10
I would have sent back a sarcastic remark like, “well you have a 50/50 shot, so think whatever you want”
Post # 11
Yorkshirerose1991: Based on that information, I don’t think she knows, I think she’s just guessing. Perhaps even it’s a deliberate ruse to get you to react and spill the beans.
I’d be a little offended, because she hasn’t respected your wishes. I like CocoLoco523: ‘s reply, but your SO’s is good too. Whatever you do, don’t confirm or deny her guess.
Post # 13
I wouldn’t be offended, I would be pissed. She’s clearly ignoring your wishes and being nosy. For me, that’s annoying not offending. She sounds like a child.
Post # 14
I wouldn’t put much time being upset about someone who isn’t a part of my life. While I understand why you want to keep the sex a secret, I do think it’s a bit odd to go around telling people you know but aren’t sharing. Why not just say you aren’t finding out?
Post # 15
She was probably only guessing to get you to react and guessed correctly. My sister in law is pregnant and she and my brother knew what the baby was but wanted to keep it a secret for a bit for a gender reveal party. I knew my brother wouldn’t tell me but I would say stuff like “I’m sure she’ll be beautiful” and what not to try to trip him up into using a pronoun with the gender or giggle in a revealing way. Yes, my 6’4″ brother giggles when talking about his baby. I really thought they were having a girl. Nope. I misread the giggles. What I thought was a “she’s onto us” giggle was a “ha ha, we have her fooled” giggle.