(Closed) Would you be offended at a handfasting in a Christian ceremony?

posted 9 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 32
Member
1018 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@AB Bride:  Exactly what Birdee said.  I would not choose to do it for MYSELF if I knew it had pagan roots.  If I don’t know, I don’t know.  I’m just saying if I knew it had pagan roots, I wouldn’t want to do it in my own wedding ceremony.  That being said, if I went to a wedding where it was being done, it wouldn’t bother me at all.  

Post # 34
Member
564 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@Birdee106:  No one was attacking you. They simply pointed out an inconsistancy in what you said. You said that as a Christian, you wouldn’t practice any Pagan traditions. Well, Christmas and Easter both contain traditions that are rooted in paganism. So if you have a Christmas tree each year, you just took part in a pagan tradition. 

 

To OP: I’m Christian…and I see no problem with handfasting. I’ve been to MANY Christian ceremonies that included it, and no one objected. Most people didn’t have any idea what the ceremony’s roots were. That said, I’m Irish American, so it’s a VERY common wedding tradition with people of Irish descent. It’s a beautiful ceremony. If you love it, do it. This is YOUR wedding and you are the one who will remember it. No one else will remember the details of your ceremony. I think it’ll help if you introduce it as a tradition that stems from your Celtic heritage and people will think it’s nice that you’re honoring your heritage. 

 

Post # 35
Member
6430 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

Dh and I are Christians, an we ha a Christian ceremony that included a handfasting in place of the unity candles etc. Everyone loved it, and nobody was offended. Most of our guests were also Christians.

Post # 36
Member
476 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

There is a difference in a specifically pagan practice, and something that grew out of a pagan practice, but is its entirely own thing now. If that makes sense. Ha! That said, I’m a Christian and I see nothing wrong with said ‘pagan’ hand fasting. It’s been so watered down and used by so many different traditions. If it’s not satanism and celebrates love the God that I believe in will be smiling down on it (: Pray about it! You’ll know if it feels right for you.

Post # 37
Member
476 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@jpalm13:  Oh and I find that article beyond ignorant. I would ignore it. Bigotry comes in all forms.

Post # 38
Member
241 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

@jpalm13:  

 

Honestly, that website does not look very legit, and the author does not seem like the sharpest knife in the drawer.  ;p 

 

I’m Catholic, and I think the handfasting would be sweet.  If you’re still uncomfortable with the idea, maybe talk it over with a priest/reverend/minister and see what they think.

 

Post # 39
Member
508 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@Weetzie:  Most modern pagans reject the idea of Satan, so… even if it was pagan in practice, it would still have no ties to that. Not, saying that I thought you’d think that, just clarifying for the board in general.

 

For the OP… I think handfasting can have pagan ties to it, because I think it is something a lot of modern pagans do hold dear to them, at least when it comes to their wedding ceremonies, but they are not the only ones as others have pointed out! Celtic Christians also use it a lot, and so do secular people.

The truth is human culture morphs over time, so many of the things we believe in predate Christianity, and yeah, some of those have had religious ties, so they are pagan, but really… that is such an open word.

I think the important thing is the symbolism that you have for it personally. Bound in a marriage by God? Why could that not work?

Also for those of you that did a handfasting ceremony, I want to do one too, but I’m not really sure how to go about it. I posted about it here: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/handfasting-when-do-you-do-it#axzz2SYkdx6kx 

(Is that okay to do?)

But I’d just love to know more about it in general.

 

Post # 40
Member
476 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@GoldStar:  oh I didn’t mean for it to sound like I was saying paganism=satanism! I was just trying to make the point that everything short of satanism that honors your love is acceptable in a wedding ceremony (: it’s about intent

Post # 41
Member
543 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

My goodness, that was a nasty article!!! 

I would not be offended in the least 🙂

Post # 42
Member
508 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@Weetzie:  Oh! I didn’t think that you did! I was just stating for board purposes. I live in a very religious region, where this sometimes gets believed to be the case, so I may just be overly sensitive. I’ll keep that in mind. 🙂

Post # 43
Member
7439 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Ok, lol, I KNOW what I am going to offend someone

BUT I’ll say it anyhow.

A whole lot of folks who live their lives on Organized Religions get offended by a whole lot of stuff they just don’t understand because it comes from outside of their realm (small narrow minded worlds) and they haven’t done enough research to actually reach an INFORMED point of view, they just react on gut instinct

And so it is with the article that was posted…

The woman in that article left the Christian Wedding Ceremony cause the B&G chose to do something she wasn’t familiar with, and because it “was an idea” that came from outside of her norm (Paganism) she saw it as Unholy and Non Christian

And by extention the couple being married MUST BE Pagans, and therefore evil

8-} *rolls eyes*

(I especially LOVED how this person then built themselves a Website to preach the evils of Paganism in society)

How in the world would she know… she didn’t stick around long enough to find out…

In reality, it probably wasn’t a Religious aspect to the ceremony any more than lighting a Unity Candle, a Sand Ceremony or a Wine Ceremony* are religious symbols.  None of them are, they are stuff someone made up and thought was a cool addition to Weddings.  Period.

When I got married the first time (1980) Unity Candle Ceremonies were just new… I didn’t do oodles of research on “the history of them”… I saw one in a Bridal Magazine, thought it sounded cool, and so added it to my Wedding Program

No evil intent… just a pretty “something to do” symbolic of two people becoming one.

*Lol, Wine Ceremony.  Honestly this is one of the latest things at Weddings.  Trust me this NEVER would have flown in my day 30 years ago, let alone 50 or more years ago.  I mean gee whiz has no one ever heard of the evil of drinks.  Totally sacraligious !!

All handfasting is nowadays is an act that “symbolizes” unity.  In the same way that Wedding Rings symbolize unity… (they aren’t Christian / Religious either folks)

— — —

OP sure someone may get offended.  People get offended at all sorts of things for all kinds of reasons.  And Weddings certainly seem to do a good job of bringing the loonies out of their houses.

So if someone who has their head stuck too far up their ass is offended by this simple act of Unity at your Wedding… so what.  If you are getting married in a Christian Church and YOU CONSIDER YOURSELVES TO BE CHRISTIANS then that is all that matters.

IF however you are truly Pagans getting married in a Christian Church well then ya, that would be more than a tad weird… but then based on what I know about Pagans, they’d never choose that option anyhow… they’d be off having an at-one experience with the world around them (forest, valley, mountaintop, beach etc).

Which just makes the whole article hit home even more… the woman who wrote it was sadly mistaken, and too narrow minded for words.  Her loss.

Hope this helps,

 

Post # 44
Member
1263 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

What a stupid STUPID article. I don’t think I’ve read anything so misinformed since I read some material from the Westboro Baptist Church – are you sure they didn’t write that too?

My mum is a Pagan (I’m an atheist) so I might look at you a little funny if you incorporated Pagan rituals into a ceremony, but that would be more curiousity about the inconsistency if the rest of the ceremony was very religious. It’s a nice ceremony, I’ve seen it done many times (both in Pagan and non-Pagan weddings), and it’s just the same as a unity candle or the sand ceremony – it’s a little performance in the middle of the ceremony to show two people are joined together. I don’t think it’s any different to having a Christmas tree, mistletoe, or Easter eggs – if you want to do it, then go for it!

Post # 45
Member
7528 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Nona99:   Just popped back in!  I wanted to say THANKS for the support, love!  🙂

Post # 46
Member
7528 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Birdee106:  What I meant was you may not have met me here on the Bee, obviously.  Because attacking you was the furthest thing from my mind; I never attack anyone – either here or IRL.  I was wondering if some people may not know things such as Christmas trees and Easter eggs have pagan roots, is all.  If it sounded to you as though I was “attacking,” I really do apologize.

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