(Closed) Would you be offended by this?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I’ll let other bees answer as to the etiquette, but I have to say I would feel sheepish to do something like that because of how the invitation would come out sounding to her. 

Post # 4
Member
1026 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

nope. just explain it to her. I would feel happy that you were thinking of me if I was her

Post # 5
Member
751 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

No, I think it’s fine. I would be honored to be thought of as a ‘replacement guest’. Just don’t be upset if she can’t make it since it’s not a lot of notice.

Post # 6
Member
3121 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I think you’d have to know her to make that call.  Would she be one of those “How sweet!  I’d love to!” or one of those “I can’t believe she D-listed me because it was convenient and she needs me.”  Hard to say! 

Post # 7
Member
2603 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I don’t think it’s rude, so long as you are upfront about the cancellation. 

It sort of depends on the personal relationship that you have with the person and the relative tolerance of that person, but if it were me and it was a basic acquaintance I was talking to, I’d be honored to be invited. And I’m pretty sure that most people would be understanding and excited, rather than annoyed. 

Post # 8
Member
1513 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

im not sure what the etiquette is. i know i personally wouldnt be offended. just make sure you really clarify that she should not bring a gift.

if she comes, im sure she will anyway, but you should be clear that that isnt a reason youre fillng the seat

Post # 9
Member
3471 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

I’m sure there are some “rules” about these kinds of situations– but she’s your friend and neighbor, just explain exactly what you said here.  You were trying to keep the numbers within reason (something almost ANYONE can relate to!) but you’ve had a cancellation, and would love if she could join you.  

I think that says enough for itself. 

Post # 10
Member
9687 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think it will be fine!  I wouldn’t be offended.  😉

Post # 11
Member
2065 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I wouldn’t be offended at all! Just explain the situation. If she can come, great, if not, oh well! Hell, I’ve BEEN the last minute invitee and was totally fine with it. A former coworker had some cancellations and she’d already prepaid, so she invited a few of us from work that she was closer with.

Post # 12
Member
2999 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

If it were all explained to me, I’d probably feel pretty great about the invite.

Post # 13
Member
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

I think if you explained it the way you did here, I’d be glad to accept the invite.

Post # 14
Member
6248 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 1900

Sounds like she is a sweet, understanding person who generally cares about things going on in your life.  In that case, invite her!

Post # 15
Member
788 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

Maybe just word it to her in the same way you put it out to us. I certainly wouldn’t be offended 🙂

Post # 16
Member
3000 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Go for it. I’d love to receive an invite like that If I were her.

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