(Closed) Would you be offended if you didn’t get a TY card??

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
617 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

No, I don’t think you are.  I went to a baby shower two years ago and never received a Thank You card, went to a bridal shower for the same person and didn’t receive a Thank You card, gave a very generous gift for the wedding, no Thank You card.  Also, my own SIL didn’t send out Thank You cards for her shower, wedding, or baby shower.  She said to me recently, “i meant to send them out but you know, stuff got in the way.”  I just told her she should get on it, pronto.  However, she still didn’t send any out.  Same for FI’s BIL for their baby shower.  I don’t know what happened lately but I feel like no one does anymore!  I had my TYs out within 2 weeks of the shower.

Post # 4
Member
541 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I would say if you didn’t recieve a verbal thank you, and depending on your relationship with the person, no, you aren’t out of line. I don’t expect a thank you from, say, my sister, but I would expect at least a verbal thank you from a very good friend. Someone who is just a friend, I would expect a thank you card from. But that’s just me.

Post # 5
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

No, you’re not out of line. If you gave a gift (or even really just showed up) you should receive a thank you card. Some people are just stupid when it comes to etiquette.

I’m still waiting for a thank you card from my friends wedding, bridal shower (that I threw and gave a nice gift for) and TWO baby showers. I’m not going to hold my breath! 

 

Post # 6
Member
617 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

No, I don’t think you are.  I went to a baby shower two years ago and never received a Thank You card, went to a bridal shower for the same person and didn’t receive a Thank You card, gave a very generous gift for the wedding, no Thank You card.  Also, my own SIL didn’t send out Thank You cards for her shower, wedding, or baby shower.  She said to me recently, “i meant to send them out but you know, stuff got in the way.”  I just told her she should get on it, pronto.  However, she still didn’t send any out.  Same for FI’s BIL for their baby shower.  I don’t know what happened lately but I feel like no one does anymore!  I had my TYs out within 2 weeks of the shower.

 

ETA-sorry for my double post!  My comp was  being super slow and I hit submit twice…oopsy!

Post # 7
Member
9029 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

If I got verbal thank you, I would be ok, but otherwise I’d feel weird about ti

Post # 9
Member
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I think it would be a reasonable expectation to get one.  However would I be offended?  No, I’d probably forget.  In fact, I know I’d forget.  I handed my Thank You card to my cousin and she laughed and told me she never sent any.  Didn’t even notice.

Post # 10
Member
1260 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I sent out thank-yous for both my shower and wedding, but I wouldn’t be offended if I didn’t get one myself as long as the person at least thanked me either verbally or through some other means, such as an email.

Post # 11
Hostess
16215 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I personally would expect a thank you card. Pretty standard protocol when it comes to showers, weddings, etc.

Post # 12
Member
5921 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

Ouch! I would definitely expect a thank you card.  I just finished my shower thank you’s, and I felt bad that they took almost a month!

Post # 13
Member
2397 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I’d expect a thank you card if I gave a gift for a wedding or shower.  I never thought twice about sending them for any gifts we received. 

Some people take a long time to send them though… maybe you’ll get one before the 12 month mark?

Post # 14
Member
46329 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would expect to receive a thank-you note. After all, it took me a lot more time to pick out and wrap the gift than it is going to take her to jot a quick thank-you note.

I think I am going to adopt my mom’s rule- No thank you note- no more gifts from her- for any occasion! Highly motivating!

Post # 15
Member
3 posts
Wannabee

My boyfriend and I attended his roommate/friend’s daughter’s wedding four weeks ago. My boyfriend told me he was going to give her a gift of $500 dollars. I thought and still think that was too generous, but my boyfriend said that his friend has been very generous to him through the years, which is true. However, the $500 went to his daughter, not him.

My boyfriend currently rents from his friend and his daughter (the bride) stays there a few nights a week. We have seen her several times since her wedding and never has she mentioned anything about the generous gift. My boyfriend gave $400 and I gave $100 to make $500. I know that it has been one month and maybe she is planning to send out thank you cards, but I am quite offended that she has not said anything. I would not be as offended if the gift had not been so generous, but because I consider it to be so over the top, I am disgusted.

I am at the point of saying something and telling her the truth of how I feel about her rudeness. Where I come from and the way I was raised, I am shocked by this behavior. Please tell me how I should handle this. I am going to be seeing her again this weekend. A thank you card is one thing, but to see someone several times and not verbally acknowledge the generosity is beyond rude in my opinion.

Post # 16
Member
2607 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

You have a year from the wedding date to send gifts and send thank you’s.  They may be waiting for photo cards to be printed, which is causing a delay… but if the anniversary of their wedding rolls around with nothing, I would absolutely be offended.

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