(Closed) Would you be offended if your friends tell you… “I’m not sure”??!

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
685 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Depends on many factors. Does the friend have to travel? Do they have kids and your wedding is a no kids wedding? Is it on Saturday or middle of the week/Sunday?

I went to my friend wedding and I gave cash gift as well. I don’t remember if there was a thank you card or not. I invited him and his wife to my wedding. I hope he’ll come; however, I completely understand if he can’t  come as my wedding is 6 hours away from him. It would cost his family to travel. I’m allowing kids and plus 1 at my wedding as well, otherwise it’s less likely for guests to come.

Then again, if my wedding was in town and I allow kids, but he can’t come. I would be offended.

I do agree that he should tell you his decision instead of stringing you along. 

Post # 5
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

I wouldn’t be offended. Weddings between friends shouldn’t be looked at as I did this for you, so you should do this for me. Everyone’s situations are different. They may not be able to afford it, and just because you spent a lot of money on them, doesn’t make them obligated to spend it on you. Everyone should do what they can and shouldn’t be held to an equal standard.

Post # 7
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

@dianeanthony: that’s understandable. Maybe you should ask why.

Post # 9
Member
726 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Maybe they know that time of year is a difficult time for their jobs?

Post # 10
Member
1144 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@dianeanthony: I wouldn’t be upset i would just let them know that the time for RSVP has passed and you can no longer accomodate them (if the RSVP has passes).

Post # 12
Member
2247 posts
Buzzing bee

I understand you’ve told the vendors that ___ amount of people are coming to the wedding.  But YOU gave the vendors that number without getting an RSVP from those friends.  I wouldn’t have included those non-RSVPing friends in the final head count to the caterer. Then, I would have contacted those friends to let them know that the ship has sailed on their invitation (since they couldn’t be bothered to take two seconds and RSVP).  It was their responsibility to RSVP, but since they didn’t, you should have just considered them not coming.  If they had told you that they were coming, then backed out at the last minute, then it would be wrong of them.  However, they never told you that they were actually coming.  So, you can’t blame them.  As an experienced event planner, I can tell you that you should only expect, at the very most, half of who you invite. 

If people have other plans that they feel take precedence over your wedding, that is their business. They don’t owe you an explanation. You don’t know their financial situations.  Yeah, they might have nice cars and homes, and it may SEEM that they’re more well-off than you, but how far in debt are they?  Maybe they’ve hit rock bottom and you’re just not aware.  Maybe they just don’t feel like sitting through a wedding.  Yes, you went to theirs, but you did so at your own free will. 

Post # 14
Member
1144 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@dianeanthony: I feel where you are comming from, I personally consider maybes to be defiantely no’s… becuase most of the time they are. Just sucks though 🙁

Post # 15
Member
1144 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Dbl post

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