(Closed) Would you be ok with FMIL wearing this to your wedding? I’m trying to be…

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Would you be ok with FMIL wearing this to your wedding?
    Yes, it's fine : (57 votes)
    21 %
    No, it's inappropriate : (220 votes)
    79 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    6394 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2011

    …is that embroidery on it? Honestly, I would be super bothered by it. I would let her do it, though, because ultimately she’ll be the one who is going to look out of place. I’m sorry you have to deal with her–she sounds like she’s a hand full.

    Post # 4
    Member
    5654 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2011

    Darling Husband dad REFUSED to wear a tux… even though the rest of the family was dressed more formally & in color scheme of or wedding.

    It bothered Darling Husband at first as he couldn’t believe that the one time he asked his dad to do something for him he refused BUT on the day of we really didn’t even notice.

    The family pictures look weird since he’s in jeans but oh well.. that’s on them.

    I say let her wear whatever she wants… I mean you can ask your Fiance to talk to her about it but otherwise I wouldn’t let it cause a rift between ya’ll… just b/c in the end it’s like “whatever.. she’s the one that looks like a fool next to everyone else dressed nicely”

    Post # 6
    Member
    1398 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    My idea is to enlist your Mom on this project. She can innocently call your Future Mother-In-Law and say something like “I just wanted to co-ordinate our outfits for the kids wedding. In fact, I’d love to go shopping with you! I think that would give us a chance to get to know each other better.” I think that If your mom knows that your happiness is at stake here, she won’t let your Future Mother-In-Law wear that to your wedding. Years ago, when I had my first wedding (this is my second marriage) I had pretty much the same problem with my Future Mother-In-Law, and my mom came through with flying colors. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    6830 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Just let her wear it, you are not her mother and really you can’t tell her what to wear. No one is going to really care other than you.  Remember your wedding is to celebrate you and your Fiance not how his mom looks

    Post # 8
    Member
    3624 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I definitely would be a little upset about it. For an evening wedding that is just … weird.

    Although, like the others said, it’s her that’s going to look out of place. Sorry you have to deal with that…

    Post # 9
    Member
    5654 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2011

    @SandyThePoet What a great suggestion!!! Hopefully that could actaully work. I know with my Mother-In-Law that she wouldn’t have budged from her decision, but her it’s worth a try =D

    Post # 10
    Member
    6892 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    Yeah, that sucks. I mean…okay, she’ll wear what she wants, but it seems a little lazy and disrespectful to wear something like that when you know how the wedding will be going (the formality, etc, plus it’s her own kid’s wedding!) I know my response isn’t helpful, just agreeing. Lol

    Post # 10
    Member
    994 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    It’s not even the fact that it’s white that bothers me, it’s just entirely too casual for a wedding, any way you look at it. Ugh. I’m sorry.

    I wouldn’t care much except she’s in your photos.

    Can you have your Fiance talk to her? If not… hey, she’s the one who will look bad. It won’t reflect on you.

    Post # 11
    Member
    5494 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I would be super bothered by her choice of attire.  I don’t have a problem with it being white but she seriously looks like she’s going to the mall, NOT her son’s wedding.  What is wrong with people?

    At the end of the day , you really can’t control her and she is the one that will look out of place, not you.

    Post # 11
    Member
    1493 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    @jeanie13: That looks way too casual for a wedding. I like the suggestion of the mothers getting together to guide her in the right direction. Seriously though, it’s a wedding. She should dress more formal than a summer pantsuit for a fall wedding.

    Post # 11
    Member
    1109 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    at my first wedding, my dad wouldnt go get fitted for a tux (I figured he wouldnt) so my mom went with him to JC Penny to get a suit.. that morning when he came in all dressed up I had to kind of laugh… he picked out a BLUE suit when the other guys were wearing Black with Burt Orange vests. 

    I was just glad he wasn’t wearing his “good blue jeans and button up flannel shirt”

    I had to let it go.

    On that note though, at least his was dressy. He looked very nice. Embroidered butterflies on a white pant suit from some donation bin… I’d have to say something. Or have Fiance talk to her. or… just buy her a dress and say “I saw this and immediately thought of you! It would be PERFECT for the wedding!”  😉 

    Post # 11
    Member
    334 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    Hmm… maybe you could invite her on a girls-day to shop for something like your rehearsal dinner dress?  And while you’re there, maybe browse some new outfits for her?  Could be worth the try and endear her to you for making the effort.

    At the end of the day, like you said, she’s the one who will be getting the strange looks, it won’t reflect on you.

    The topic ‘Would you be ok with FMIL wearing this to your wedding? I’m trying to be…’ is closed to new replies.

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