(Closed) Would you be ok with FMIL wearing this to your wedding? I’m trying to be…

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Would you be ok with FMIL wearing this to your wedding?
    Yes, it's fine : (57 votes)
    21 %
    No, it's inappropriate : (220 votes)
    79 %
  • Post # 13
    Member
    3570 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I don’t think you should put your mom in that position.  I think you or your fiance needs to talk to her and say that it’s not formal enough.  You’ve got a long relationship ahead of you, so you don’t want to start it off by feeling pissed about her outfit  (which is so bad, btw.)  Seriously, she cannot wear that to her son’s wedding, and you guys should just bite the bullet and tell her that!

    Post # 15
    Member
    1243 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    I think that you have a good attitude about this.  I would be very annoyed too (not because it’s white, but because her whole attitude seems disrespectful).  

    I had people show up to our wedding in everything from tuxes to a jean suit.  Yes, people commented, but it didn’t impact me at all.  My only real issue was that I was blamed by one of the people for their attire because I didn’t tell them about the formality…which is bs.  They were sent pictures of my dress, the venue, and the dress code (for the restaurant).  Totally not my problem.  Wear what you want, but don’t blame me when you look like an ass.

    Don’t worry about this “reflecting on your FI”.  I really don’t think that people will blame him for his mom’s clothes.  She will look silly, but that’s on her.  As long as you’ve given her the heads up about formality, this is her problem.

     

    Post # 16
    Member
    762 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Seriously. . .what is she thinking. If she decides to wear it, there will be no way in hell she will upstage you or anybody else for that matter. She will be the one who looks foolish. Guests always look to see what the Mother of the Bride and Groom are wearing. I wouldn’t be surprised if people made comments to her about it. I would be more disappointed than upset, because it’s a reflection on her, and kind of a slap in the face to you and your Fiance.

    Post # 17
    Member
    293 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    @jeanie13: I’m not much help b/c I’m in the same exact position as you. My Future Mother-In-Law is wearing a black jersey sundress that she has converted into a long skirt (on clearance at Marshalls) and a paisley turquoise, black and brown cardigan with sewn-in tanktop on sale to our very formal evening wedding. I feel bad b/c she is going to look soo underdressed at our wedding, but Fiance knows it’s a battle not worth fighting. Just wanted to let you know you’re not alone!!!

    Post # 18
    Member
    1506 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I agree with SandyThePoet’s idea. Maybe she just isn’t a good shopper or doesn’t have anyone to go with her.

    Post # 19
    Member
    444 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    I have a different opinion..i think she looks nice.  If it’s ironed and she put on some jewelry to go with the outfit. I think it’s simple and sophisticated (the butterfly sucks..but if she likes they..then power to her..i can’t tell from looking at the picture).  She pulls off that white suit way better than anyone I can know..so you can look at it that way if she is set on wearing that. 🙂

    Post # 20
    Member
    9028 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    The way I look at it, the outfit worn by FMIL doesnt reflect badly on your or even your Fiance. It only reflects badly on her, so if she wants to wear something weird I would just ignore her. Personally I’m only worried about the BMs, GMs etc.. but Future In-Laws can wear anything they feel like

    Post # 21
    Member
    2373 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2008

    I’d let her wear it and look like an idiot.

    Post # 22
    Member
    7429 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2009

    Yeah, my husband’s mother wore a white dress with gold embellishments. I was so pissed, but I laughed when my friend’s came up and were making fun of her. Honestly, it really doesn’t matter, and I agree its only going to reflect negatively on her.  Try shopping with her, but if it doesn’t work, don’t sweat it

    Post # 23
    Member
    469 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    That outfit is godawful.  I’m tempted to say “Oh yeah let her wear it because it won’t reflect poorly on you” but do you really want to have family pictures taken with her in THAT outfit?  It looks like she picked it out of some 90-year old woman’s dumpster.  Yuck.  I’d say “Wear that outfit and you’re being excluded from pictures” haha but not really.  Your fiance needs to talk to her….

    Post # 24
    Member
    7693 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2010

    Wow your Future Mother-In-Law seems immature. Yes, I would be bothered. But in the end, she will look like the fool! You dont have to display any pictures of her in your house and can put as few as you want in your wedding album. THe attention will still be on you and how beautiful you are. Unfortunately, I think its a battle worth losing

    Post # 25
    Member
    3482 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2011

    That is…not a pant suit. The cut of the jacket and the 3/4 length sleeves are way too casual. I would definitely try and take her out shopping. If that’s a flop, well, she’ll get some odd looks at the wedding, that’s for sure.

    Post # 26
    Member
    2700 posts
    Sugar bee

    I agree with the previous posters that it is way too casual for a wedding, especially the one you’ve described. I also agree with PitBullLover however in that is a battle worth losing in order for you to keep your sanity. I wish you luck… my Mother-In-Law is also tasteless so we can paddle this boat together!

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