Post # 57
I think it’s innappropriate, but wouldn’t say anything about it. My Mother-In-Law worn something that was more for an evening wedding for our late morning/afternoon ceremony/reception. And yes, it looks kind of funny in the photos, but whatever. She felt great that day and it shows in the photos of her.
Post # 58
@sorrycharlie: ha ha ha I totally will! I love that site!
And I will keep you all updated – we’ve got some time so I’m really hoping she’ll have some kind of change of heart! I did send her a picture of my gown (which I had been avoiding because we are not close and I just can’t bond with the woman after some of the awful things she has said) hoping she’d see it and think – wow! that’s pretty formal I should step it up!
But I doubt it! I’m actually afraid to suggest a shopping trip because of the way she reacted to being asked about her outfit before! So it is what it is at this point – I’ve done all I can to gently guide her!
Post # 59
no way!!! she should be respectful of her son and YOU since it is YOUR day and wear something better than that!! this is not a picnic.. this his her son’s wedding!! I know when my son (if i have one lol) gets married I will be FLY!!! lol so no.. i wuld not take that….. not at all.. that is horrible!!!
Post # 60
@SandyThePoet: (and @ many others that have the same response) thats what i would do. shopping trip with my mom or maybe one of FH aunts or someone in the family.
my Future Mother-In-Law dosent really have a wardrobe due to money and she never really bothers to dress nice either (not out of spite though…more out of depression sadly). so i figure it would be nice if my mom and i took her out shopping. really would like to do that for her and to help her be involved. figure it would cheer her up and give her a reason to look good…not just cause she going to a wedding but because we took the time to help her….sometimes people that want attention look for it the wrong way…maybe shes wearing that to get attention….but if you give attention to her before hand in a positive way (like by shopping with her)it will be different. and maybe she doesnt know bette… any way i think a good shopping trip brightens any ladies day 😀
Post # 61
@jeanie13: Does she just not care or is she just not educated in fashion sense to begin with…or both? Whichever the case, I don’t think I’d take her on a shopping trip but rather, bring the shopping trip to her. Bring her special occasion clothes you already bought, tags still on, and say, “Pick one you, crazy pants suit lady! Whichever you pick is my gift to you to wear on the wedding day!” Return the others.
Post # 62
I agree with @Cornflakegirl: If you have the money to do it i think this woud be the BEST option!
Post # 63
@jeanie13: Jeanie chant this “God gives me obstacles sometimes… called mother-in-laws”
Also, let her wear what she wants, I believe this lady is doing this to irritate you and she is winning the battle. I have my own battle going on over here … or maybe I should say “My mother in law has a battle going” She is verbally abusive towards me and my husband (her son) but we kill her with kindness and silence. It pisses her off more. Boy she does not understand that after 5 years of working with a district full of high school kids that believe they are part of the “dangerous mind movie” if I can beat a kid at his game with silence and not ranting than she is no match for me. I tune her out.
Don’t let her see that you are upset smile, laugh, and be act happy. Then when she is not around yell, scream, curse whatever you want on the weddingbee.
Post # 64
@creativeplannertobee: You are halirious , that is what I do at our family functions. She is is all smiling and than I only get the picture to where the person is next to her. Hey I am the photographer and that is a big blemish I see and I have to crop it out.
Post # 65
HELL NO! White is for the bride and SHE KNOWS that I am sure. EVERYONE knows that! I told my mother and Future Mother-In-Law what color to wear and said have at it.
Post # 66
@jeanie13: Oh goodness that is way too casual! I completely agree it would bother me a great deal, especially for an evening wedding.
We are putting on our invitations “Formal Attire Requested” as his family has a tendency to wear jeans/khakis or Hawaiian shirts to every occassion. I told him to make it clear to anyone who asks that this type of clothing is not appropriate and the wedding is very formal.
Can you perhaps mention it to your Fiance since it is his mom? I would think that she might take criticism from him a bit better.
Post # 67
I feel your pain! And I’m sorry you’ve been plagued with this woman as your MIL! I’m having similiar issues with my FMIL! First it was a white dress and now it’s a prom dress that’s fancier and more flamboyant than anything I’ve seen on a vegas showgirl! I keep telling myself the same thing. In the end she will be the one who looks like a fool! Hang in there! I know from experience that asking her to be more considerate will only cause more drama!
Post # 68
@jeanie13: when I first opened this, i expected it to be some gorgeous attention seeking white or extremly sparkly dress/stylish suit – but it is a hideous, and highly unfashionable granny suit (it has an elastic belt…eww?) that is obviously inappropriate for the occasion (IMO). I think that you have two options – let her go ahead with the outfit and embarrass herself – after all you will look absolutely GORGEOUS!!! or, if this option bothers you, perhaps you can explain to her that you feel the outfit is inappropriate for such and such reasons, and encourage her to wear something more suitable.
GOOD LUCK HONEY!!! update us when you can… xox
Post # 69
I like the idea someone posted about getting your mom involved. It may not work, but it’s worth a shot.
Post # 70
Hello ladies! I fee like I’ve see ppl update their threads so that the title states that its updated but I have no idea how to do that so I hope most of you catch this in the thread!
Sooooo….FMIL’s birthday is coming up at the end of July. Future Sister-In-Law joked that she was thinking about getting her a giftcard for her birthday so that she could go buy something for the wedding. Fiance had said that Future Mother-In-Law had said that week that she was having so much fun shopping for tops to put with the pantsuit that she might just go out and get herself a new dress for the wedding. Those two things combined led us to believe we might have a way into her crazy little head!
So I asked Future Sister-In-Law if she was serious and said that we would go in on it if she didn’t think it would upset Future Mother-In-Law. She said she’d feel it out. She told Future Mother-In-Law that she heard that she was having fun shopping and how would she like us to all pitch in and give her a giftcard to buy something brand new for the wedding and that Future Sister-In-Law and I would go with her. Future Mother-In-Law got mad and said “I don’t understand why they don’t just tell me they want me to dress up!” This makes me laugh because we had already had my mom send her pictures of outfits similar to what she was going to look for, Fiance had already talked to her when the first issue came up with wearing jeans and Future Sister-In-Law had talked to her about the fact that she’ll be a VIP at the wedding and it’s a really nice event.
Future Mother-In-Law also said, “I don’t get it – they’re getting married in a field.” Not exactly, we’re getting married on the grounds of a winery/vineyard under a gorgeous old oak tree in the Texas Hill Country – a far cry from just a field. Future Mother-In-Law did finally agree to go shopping with us but said “I’m not going to spend any of my own money.”
Future Sister-In-Law also tried to tell her that she could wear the pantsuit to the rehearsal dinner, which I would be fine with – we are having a laid back rehearsal dinner at a little italian restaurant on the patio. We wanted something relaxed. Future Mother-In-Law said, “I’m not wearing a suit to a pizza parlor!” The Future Sister-In-Law said, “Ok, then wear it to the bridal shower in July.” FMIL’s response was, “Oh, it’s THAT kind of shower?” What is that supposed to mean???
Anyway, I’m just glad that she’s open to checking out other options and that Future Sister-In-Law and I will be there to keep her focused. I will definitely update you all after our shopping trip on the 18th!
Post # 71
Great! There’s still hope!! 🙂