Would you be ok with no engagement ring at all (no ring at proposal or later)?

posted 3 months ago in The Lounge
  • poll: No engagement ring at all?
    I prefer not to have an engagement ring : (3 votes)
    3 %
    I don't mind either way : (29 votes)
    32 %
    I definitely want an engagement ring : (56 votes)
    61 %
    Other (mention in comments) : (4 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 2
    723 posts
    Busy bee

    I knew before I got engaged that I wouldn’t wear my ring much so I first asked for a simple gold band as an engagement ring that I could then use as my wedding ring. He really wanted to get me an engagement ring so we decided on something very affordable ($3k) and sometimes still to this day I wish I rather had that money in my account instead of sitting in a ring box on my book shelf 🙁

    Either way I wouldn’t judge anyone for having one or not. To each their own. 

    Post # 3
    380 posts
    Helper bee

    This is all up to the individual’s preferences. Personally, I wanted a ring. It was important to me. I looked forward to the day to have a gorgeous ring on that finger. I’ve received other jewelery over the years, but knew the ring would be the nicest piece and something I’d get to wear everyday. 

    Post # 4
    276 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 2029

    Not trying to be shallow, but I’m very happy I received an engagement ring.  I know, I know diamond industry making money etc etc, but I wear my ring w/pride.  Idk to me personally if someone proposes without a ring, that to me would show cheapness and him not putting in much thought.  No I’m saying I need a huge expensive ring, just a little symbol of love that I can wear for the rest of my life.

    Post # 5
    8434 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper

    Mine is a plain ring and like a pp in another thread was both engagement and wedding ring. It absolutely did not signify ’ cheapness’ as pp above slghtingly suggests, but was exactly what l wanted. It was most definitely a symbolo of love and don’t believe he even knew it was untraditional. 

    Post # 6
    553 posts
    Busy bee

    I think it would depend on the culture. There are a lot of cultures around the world every engagement ring is not as big of a deal. A lot of cultures the ring is picked by mil and fil and women just are not that attached to it. Personally I would not care as long as the marriage was solid.

    I think in the US engagement ring is seen as a status symbol which is why a lot of people are conditioned to think bigger is better, other people think it’s ok to comment on your ring, women drive themself crazy over is it big enough is it too big. Even the whole moissonite people want it to look “real”, hello it is a real stone it’s just not a diamond but people do want to pass it as a diamond. Maybe people would not lie if someone asked them straight up but majority of the time they are banking on no one paying that close attention. 

    How can an inanimate object like a ring convey all the love/history/ passion between two people, it can’t. It’s just a ring. 

    Post # 7
    13 posts

    We originally discussed not having a ring, as a previous poster mentioned it isn’t big in his culture and we have so many big plans for the next year that we want to save for. My family expressed that it was important to them though, so we decided to go for it. I’m still waiting for it, but I love the ring we picked out and I’m excited to wear it every day.

    Post # 8
    981 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2019

    kayaa :  To each their own. If the couple both agrees and is happy with it – I see no problem. 

    Personally as someone who was judged relentlessly for being a single mom for many years… I wanted the damn ring. I waited a LONG time for the right one to come along and I am proud to be married to my awesome husband. 

    I didnt want a fancy or expensive ring. I asked for and recieved a durable and economical (most important to me) white gold and moissanite wedding set that cost about $800 and I love it.

    Post # 9
    6495 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 1997

    I agree that it depends on the culture and the couple. If they’re both fine with no ring, then why not? I know many older women who only wear a wedding band. However, it was important for me to have one. Dh asked me to marry him without a ring, and then we went shopping for one together (the same way my own parents did), so I thought that was “normal.” But we did not announce our engagment until I had the ring because no one would have taken us seriously. I suppose that could be considered their own problem, but we both wanted me to have one, too.

    Post # 10
    1609 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2018 - Location

    I like to wear a ring. So if I ended up with just a wedding band I guess it would be ok. It’s fun when you’re engaged, everyone asks to see the ring, I wouldn’t want to explain “oh we didn’t want to because blah blah” everytime. But is it NECESSARY? Of course not.

    Post # 11
    12207 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    kayaa :  As I said in the last thread, it would depend completely on the circumstances. 

    Post # 12
    2771 posts
    Sugar bee

    As with anything in regards to weddings (and in life in general), this is all about personal preference.

    I wanted a ring.  I wanted a certain style/stone and I got exactly what I wanted.  My fiance mentioned that he doesn’t want to wear a wedding band and I am completely fine with that.  Some people might find that really odd, but it goes no deeper than him not liking to wear jewelry.   And that’s not going to stop me from wanting a wedding band to go along with my engagement ring.  

    Every relationship is different and just because it doesn’t make sense to you, doesn’t mean it doesn’t work for them.  

    And I definitely do not think it has anything to do with someone being cheap.  

    Post # 13
    8861 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    kayaa :  I thought you said in that last thread that your friend was perfectly ok without a ring. So why are you so obsessed with this? If it works for them, why do you care? Most women (in the US at least) want an engagement ring of some sort, so most of us get an engagement ring of some sort. That doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with someone not wanting one and not getting one. You seem to be giving this some deeper meaning or looking for validation that she is weird or being deprived or something. What is your motivation? 

    Post # 14
    553 posts
    Busy bee

    Daisy_Mae :  this exactly! 

    Not only ring is seen as a status symbol some people try to attach how much their significant other loves them to the ring as well that’s why people like OP just can’t fathom why someone would not want a ring 

    Post # 15
    7811 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2010

    My dad never got my mom an engagement ring and they celebrated 45 years of marriage this year. She does have a wedding band and for their 40th anniversary he got her a diamond band to wear with her wedding band. But when they got married it was the 70’s and people were down on materialism and my parents were hippies.

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