Post # 16
ashleyroo : You are putting words in my mouth.
I never said and do not think that not getting a ring is an issue at all.
I’m only curious because in recent years, this was the first time I heard of someone not getting a ring at all. In my country, this has become a huge thing only in the last five years or so. Before that, people were less focused on the engagement.
Post # 17
Daisy_Mae : I explained above about why I’m curious.
Most people misunderstood my question in the last post because I couldn’t edit the first post, so I just posted again.
I’m not in the USA, but the engagement tradition has suddenly become huge in my country in the last 5 years or so. Just wondered how common this was elsewhere because here these days it’s very rare to not have an engagement ring. I actually think it’s fine to not get a ring (not implying my friend is weird in the slightest) and it was common not to in my parents’ generation.
Post # 18
I got an engagement ring, and I love it. But I would have been fine with a nice wedding band and maybe adding stacking bands for anniversaries or something.
Post # 19
I told my husband of he insisted on getting me an engagement ring I wouldn’t be the right one for him—- I’m not into supporting a stupid marketing trick by buying an object with no resale value. I’d rather go on an awesome trip, fund part of college for a future child, put money on retirement and so on.
Thankfully, he was the right one for me!
Post # 20
I insisted on an engagement ring. It was important to me. However, I have no judgement for someone who doesn’t want one.
Post # 21
No. I’d rather have a sterling silver and CZ ring that I bought myself than no ring at all. No shame.
Post # 22
I have questions about this scenario. If the bride and or groom to be wanted an engagement ring would they be “allowed” to get one? I would have an issue if I wanted something and then my partner would stop me from getting it (assuming price is within reason). To me on this scenario it sounds like they have agreed no rings. So it’s a personal decision so why not.
Is there a wedding ring coming? I know quite a few couples who never wanted an engagement ring but only got the wedding ring. A lot of people here dont wear them all the time and rings are not considered a big deal at all.
But yea, if like to have an engagement ring and wedding ring. Propably wouldn’t wear then daily but it would be nice for special occasions. Here men also wear engagement rings traditionally. But I dont need to have my partner buy then for me. I can get them myself. My mom.buya a new ring whenever she finds one she likes and wears it on her ring finger
Post # 23
at the end of the day a ring is essentually a dowry and I dont like that, I do love rings though so we came to the opposit compromise where we BOTH got an engagement ring but I can see it being fine the other way to where nobody gets one. Some people dont even like rings or cant wear them for work, I never noticed my Father-In-Law didnt wear a wedding ring until Mother-In-Law pointed it out, apparently he got one for show for the wedding then she pawned it and bought jewellery because he hated wearing rings.
Post # 24
I have an heirloom engagement ring which has been in the family 160 years. It’s so precious that I just wear my band.
Post # 25
We had a short engagement and eloped, so I didn’t have an engagement ring (my choice – hubby would have gotten one if I really wanted). I have a blingy wedding ring and I love it!
Post # 26
I voted “I could go either way”. I have an engagement ring (which I love!) thanks to inheriting a family diamond. Even with my now-husband getting a pretty new setting for it, it was very affordable. I don’t think I would have been comfortable with him shelling out $4K+ for a brand new diamond ring, and I wasn’t especially interested in simulants or any other gemstones (except for sapphires, but a good natural sapphire still isn’t cheap). So, if we hadn’t inherited the diamond, I would have preferred no ring and a really nice trip. Plus, like I said in your last thread, as a hippie/radical feminist, I think there’s something really endearing about couples who mutually decide to get married and just go for bands at the wedding ceremony.
Post # 27
I have to say I’d want an engagement ring. If money is an issue I’d be glad to contribute to the cost. What can I say? I like rings.
Post # 28
My situation is a little different because I do wear a ring and was proposed to with a ring — but it’s a ring from my side of the family, that was already in my possession. Dh and I discussed it and I let him know I would be happy with that ring, or a ring of his choice. He proposed with the family ring. He did not buy me an engagement ring, and he’s never given me expensive jewelry to date, so some might see that as “cheapness” or thoughtlessness. I saw it as practical since I already had a diamond ring I liked, and I’ve always liked vintage things.
Post # 29
I guess it depends on the situation. Like Sunburn said, if it were money issues, I’d split the cost. (I mean I did design my own ring and this is a partnership). Is this just about engagement rings or wedding bands too?
But yes I would be disappointed. I wanted an engagement ring mainly because I just want one. I love the bling, Iove the symbolism and I must admit, because of social pressures of living in the bible belt and being a medical student. I wear my rings in clinic but not at the hospital and everyday that I was at the VA hospital besides the patients assuming that I was a nurse, I would regularly hear “honey why isn’t there a ring on your finger?” And a lot of unwanted comments. I got so sick of having to explain, that I started wearing silicone bands so I could actually do my job. I don’t look down on people who choose not to though. It’s all personal preference. Different strokes for different folks.
Post # 30
My personal preference would be to have an engagement ring, but ultimately it’s not a big deal. My parents were married for over 30 years (until my father passed away) and never had an engagement ring – not at the proposal or later, not ever. Of course I understand the social pressure of having a ring, but ultimately it has nothing to do with the strength of the marriage itself.