Would you be ok with no engagement ring at all (no ring at proposal or later)?

posted 2 months ago in The Lounge
  • poll: No engagement ring at all?
    I prefer not to have an engagement ring : (3 votes)
    3 %
    I don't mind either way : (29 votes)
    32 %
    I definitely want an engagement ring : (56 votes)
    61 %
    Other (mention in comments) : (4 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 31
    Member
    6663 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I know a number of people who chose to have just a blingy band or two, no traditional engagement ring. Most of the people I know don’t wear their engagement rings on the daily after the first few years, let alone after the first decade. Who cares? You do seem to care a lot!!

    Post # 32
    Member
    1340 posts
    Bumble bee

    Each couple to their own, you definitely don’t need a ring or a diamond to prove how much you love each other. For me an engagement ring was important and I really wanted a diamond, no matter how small. I don’t really wear jewellery and I don’t spend a lot of money on myself at all. I drive a ten year old car, I don’t wear designer anything, I have no expensive jewellery, I rarely ever by new clothes, so I just wanted one special piece of jewellery that I could wear every day that would last me my whole life, a treat for myself I suppose. 

    I wanted a diamond because for me there is nothing better, others can disagree and that’s fine, just for me they are the most luxurious and beautiful stone, and the knowledge that it was made by the earth over billions of years is crazy to me. I’ve had my ring for over a year now and I still look at it every day and think how beautiful it is and how lucky I am to have it, it’s the only and probably will be the only diamond I ever have (unless my fiancée decides to treat me to an eternity ring in the future). 

    That probably sounds materialistic or crazy to some people as it’s just a ring, but that’s how I feel and I don’t think that’s a bad thing. I don’t see how much it cost as equating to our love or anything like that, I just see it as beautiful gift that I will cherish forever and am very lucky to have. 

    Post # 33
    Member
    750 posts
    Busy bee

    kayaa :  I’m not sure why you care so much to be creating multiple threads about this, to be honest. Because this whole thing completely depends on the couple. If your friend doesn’t want an engagement ring, that is a perfectly valid choice.

    overthemoon2018 :  “Idk to me personally if someone proposes without a ring, that to me would show cheapness and him not putting in much thought.”

    This is only possible if they are not on the same page about the ring, though. Some women aren’t really bothered if they don’t have a ring, and in that case, this implication cannot apply.

    My parents (similar eeniebeans‘) have been married for about 40 years and my mom did not have an engagement ring. They had a cheap wedding and had plain wedding bands for the first 30 years of their marriage. Neither were unhappy with this since they had a similar mentality to eeniebeans’ parents and were not very materialistic, and they have built a very happy and successful life together, both personal-life wise and professionally.  

    Post # 34
    Member
    750 posts
    Busy bee

    ariesscientist :  Don’t feel bad for one second. You are totally within your rights to want to treat yourself and have a diamond ring.

    What is crazy is people judging others for not wanting that. Everyone is different and it’s not weird not to want an engagement ring, just like it’s not weird to want one.

    Post # 35
    Member
    301 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2019

    My best friend doesn’t wear a ring at all.  She is a nurse and she just isn’t into jewelry to boot.  I don’t know if she had an engagement ring, I do know that she has a wedding ring, but she never wears it.  Her husband does wear a ring. 

    When I got married the first time, we decided to marry and got married 2 and 1/2 weeks later.  We were fresh out of college and poor.  We just exchanged gold bands.  About 6  months later, I got an “ering” but it was super modest.  Over the years, I got several upgrades, including a beautiful 3 stone diamond ring in custom setting. 

    We divorced and now we have remarried each other (midlife crisis is a real and terrible thing) and this time I wanted an ering so we got one.  I love it, but honestly, the ring is the least important part of the marriage, imho.

    Post # 36
    Member
    8 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: October 2019 - Foley, AL

     I’m kind of a product of both. When he first proposed, it wasn’t really a “proposal”, we just discussed our wedding date and started telling people we were engaged. But he’s planning on actually officially proposing with a ring this week. We’d had everything already planned out, just needed a little extra money for the ring.

    Post # 37
    Member
    852 posts
    Busy bee

    I would not be okay with this personally. A ring was very important to me and a huge part, in my mind, of being engaged.

    Post # 38
    Member
    704 posts
    Busy bee

    I have an engagement ring, but would have been happy with just a wedding band. My fiance liked the tradition of buying and engagment ring, so we compromised and I have a moissanite solitaire, it wasn’t particularily expensive. I do really like as I feel it’s very beautiful, but I would have been happy with no ring or a $100 promise ring.  Once we’re married I’m quite likely to just wear my plain band most of the time. 
    Idk, it just doesn’t mean that much. If someone doesn’t want one, who cares. 

    Post # 39
    Member
    258 posts
    Helper bee

    I wouldn’t have had a problem with it because I’m not a big fan of rings or jewellery in general. 

    Post # 40
    Member
    120 posts
    Blushing bee

    I definitely wanted an engagement ring. I’m a sentimental person and like symbolism and wanted to have a ring to pass down to future generations.  FH proposed with a (place holder) sterling silver and cz ring from sears knowing I’d want to pick my own if I’m wearing it everyday for the rest of my life. I was looking at online rings after that but Fh wanted to have the experience of going to actual jewelers in person for the occasion so that’s what we did. So I guess you could say we both wanted the traditional norm in our own ways. 

    However, if both are not into that, there’s nothing wrong that route either. If it was important to the bride to have that symbol and the FH was refusing I’d definitely be side-eyeing him or thinking he’s too cheap or selfish for Anything he doesn’t see as important for him and only him. But if both decided it wasn’t important to them I don’t see any problems. If she said “I’m just really not into jewelry” or “I don’t like wearing jewelry” I’d be like in (in my head)” they just have different styles than us🤷🏼‍♀️“ and not give it a second thought. 

    And even if it was “we’d rather put that money towards a house or honeymoon” and used Walmart $10 bands (or hell even string) just to have something to place for the ceremony I’d still chalk it up to different styles and not give it a second thought.

    point being as long as it’s a mural decision either way and not one snubbing the other, live and let live.

    Post # 41
    Member
    531 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2019

    If my partner hadn’t bought me a ring, I’d have bought my own. I don’t wear any jewelry besides my rings, I like having them. Its important to me. It’s one of the only traditional things we’ve done in our relationship. 

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