(Closed) Would you be ok with not having an e-ring? (And also a rant about rude people)

posted 7 years ago in Rings
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  • Post # 32
    249 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2016 - Santa Barbara Courthouse

    That is so rude! I don’t know why people feel like they have to make comments about other peoples lives (especially distasteful comments)! I feel bad for your Fiance. 

    Personally, I wouldn’t mind being engaged without a ring. I just wanted one cause they’re pretty 😉 but I don’t care when I get it. I don’t think it’s that big a deal… 

    Post # 33
    169 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    I didn’t have to have a $20,000 e-ring, we ended up getting a $1,200 moissanite ring, that I love!! But I would’ve been okay with a plain gold band, so something less expensive.. But to me I want the symbol of “I’m taken” or “I was worth saving money for”…

    Especially now that I’m pregnant, I wouldn’t want to go to doctors appointments and have people assume he is my boyfriend or baby’s daddy… It’s nothing against kids born out of wedlock, seriously! But for me it’s important to not been seen as an unwed mother.. If that makes sense?? Hopefully I didn’t offend anyone!!

    Post # 34
    609 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2016

    We decided on a CZ e-ring as I couldn’t agree to my Fiance paying £1000s on a pievery of jewellery. My ring is beautiful and I’m 100% happy with our choice, it also means we can focus on paying for more important things like a holidays 🙂 and a house. I wouldn’t have been happy to not have a ring at all just on a personal level as it makes me feel special but I would never knock anyone else’s choice.

    Post # 35
    2196 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    @BruinBeeMPH:  My fiance proposed without a ring because he knew I wanted to help choose it. We bought a stand-in a couple of days later and I wore it for a few months before we actually got the real one. No one made any rude comments at all and I’m sorry to hear you have been getting grief. Decide what you want and then be polite and firm with a big smile when talking about it – if you are positive about your decision then hopefully that will convince others who might think you’re secretly disappointed and are trying to “help” you by pressuring your Fiance.

    You certainly don’t need a ring to be engaged – one of my married friends never had one. I personally was fine with not having the “forever” ring straight away but as soon as Fiance proposed I felt an itch on my finger to have something there! It depends on how YOU feel.

    Post # 36
    187 posts
    Blushing bee

    When my dad proposed to my mom he got her a watch like the practical person he was. Which she accidentally left behind in a restaurant.

    They’ve been together past their silver anniversary.

    I’d be fine without one, and I think it’s totally fine to be without one!

    Some people really have too much time on their hands to be commenting on stuff that’s not their business Frown

    Post # 37
    454 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    I personally think you should get a small r-ring. Not even a diamond one, but like a $100 pretty one. Many ladies on these boards have gone down this route. I personally think it shows that you are ‘taken’ and the symbolism of it is lovely. JMO…


    Post # 38
    178 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Personally I wanted to have a ring, but I really couldn’t care less what other people do. You don’t need a ring to be engaged and/or married.

    Post # 39
    1218 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    @BruinBeeMPH:  Evidence has shown me that it’s not a huge deal for everyone – my mum doesn’t have an e-ring and they’ve been happily married for 25 years!

    Personally, I did want one – we ended up going the second hand route which meant we were able to afford one. However, it doesn’t make you ‘not engaged’ if you don’t have one IMO. As for the rude comments, other Bees’ stories on this site will show you that you can cop rude comments about anything – your choice to have kids, not have kids, live together before marriage, not move in until marriage, remain a virgin, have sex, marry young, marry older, etc etc. There will always be arseholes out there. Don’t let them dissuade you from making your own choices!

    Post # 40
    1302 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I told my now-husband that I didn’t need an ering, but I did feel strongly about having wedding bands.  He, however, felt strongly about getting me an ering.  So, I have both, and since I have an office/desk job I wear them both every day.  He was really proud of his purchase so now I feel a little sentimental about it for that reason, but honestly I don’t think it was necessary.

    Post # 41
    1144 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    @BruinBeeMPH: I told my SO that he doesn’t have to propose with a ring. As a matter of fact, I know a lot of people (including my sister)who doesn’t wear rings. It is just a symbol (circular to show no beginning and no end). There are so many dominations, religions and cultures that do not use rings.

    I think that your Fiance  and you are very practical. You two know what you want and how to get there.

    I had no idea that people would react that way to no ring. If you 2 are going to cave in and buy an e-ring, I would go on eBay and get one for $20. After all, you can make better use of the money. 


    Post # 42
    4950 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2018

    FH and I were “engaged” long before I had a ring. We were getting married, people knew it, and we had a rough date, but we didn’t plan. We weren’t “officially” engaged until he proposed with a ring. I wanted one and was okay with it not being right away, but he insisted that I had to have it at the time he proposed. 

    I couldn’t have gone dress shopping without one, though. I’m young and look even younger and there’s no way I would’ve been taken seriously without a ring on my finger. I went dress shopping quite a few times and “How obvious is the ring check?” was my favorite game. 

    Post # 43
    3173 posts
    Sugar bee

    @BruinBeeMPH:  I would be fine with it but I think that most of DH’s family would be like, “Your engaged. Congrats! Where’s the e-ring? What? There’s no e-ring?” Actually, that’s most of our family and friends. Sigh…yeah life isn’t fair.

    Post # 44
    2296 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    @BruinBeeMPH:  people are so rude. if it makes you feel better, my dad proposed to my mum without a ring, they chose one later. they just celebrated their 30th wedding anniversary!

    if you two are happy, everyone else can go kick rocks. 



    Post # 45
    5184 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2013

    @BruinBeeMPH:  +1000

    I am married and have never received an e-ring. I chose 4 month’s rent over a ring. Why? Because we need a roof over our heads! The “show me the ring!” comments can eat holes through your brain but you have to learn to drown them out. I’m very picky about investment pieces and I want it to be done the right way, when the money has been saved, so I can get exactly what I want instead of having a “filler” and feeling a need to upgrade later on.

    Post # 46
    666 posts
    Busy bee

    I had the situation as well, my Fiance proposed spontaneously w/o a ring and I said yes.  At first we weren’t going to tell people about it until there was a ring, but he told his brother and then it got around.  And honestly, it was awkward for me when I said I was engaged to friends/coworkers and there was not a ring.  No one was rude, but they either seemed not to know what to say, or seemed perplexed about it.

    I think I had the added factor of Fiance and me being long distance so it was weird to always be referring to this guy that they never see/meet and then to be running around engaged with no ring.  LOL.  About 9 months later he got one for me, and I really like it, but I think the main reason is because right now he’s far away and it helps me feel more connected.

    I don’t think it’s strange that you’ve chosen not to have a ring – you have a mortgage together!  That’s more binding than a marriage in some cases hahahah. 

    If it bothers you that much, you could get a ring that’s within a budget you agree upon, but I would only do that if YOU want it, not to please rude people.

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