Post # 1
This came up in my relationship and my view was I would not sign one. After many discussions my now Fiance said he saw my POV and has said he does not want it.
Have you ever been asked to sign a pre-nuptial agreement or asked someone to sign one?
Would you be ok with signing one before marriage?
What are your thoughts?
Post # 2
cosimaskye : I don’t have a problem with a pre-nup. You can’t include anything in a pre-nup that takes away from the protection offered by law in the jurisdiction in which you live. There are many cases where one partner has acquired considerable assets (family business etc) that need to be protected. There are also cases where one partner already has children and wants their assets prior to a second marriage to go to their children.
It is a lot easier to negotiate a pre- nup when you are happy and in love, than trying to come to an agreement when you have already decided to divorce.
Post # 3
Never been asked to sign one cause I’ve never been with anyone who had anything worth protecting.
I wouldn’t have a problem signing one, honestly. It protects both sides.
Post # 4
Neither my fiancé nor I own anything of value, and we are signing a prenup. It was my idea and I earn less than he does. My reasoning was “I love you too much to even entertain the idea that one day we will be screaming at each other in court over who gets what crappy piece of furniture.” I also come from a legal/political family, so it’s always been the norm for me.
Post # 5
I’d sign one (after having it looked over by independent legal counsel)
i suggested one to my husband as he had significantly more assets than me. He was open to it but 1) they aren’t legally binding in the UK and 2) he couldn’t be arsed to draw it up.
I think of them a bit like seat belts. You don’t get into your car thinking that you’re going to crash it. You still pop your seat belt on though because you’ve no idea what other idiots are round the corner waiting to smash into you.
Post # 6
I will be looking into one to protect myself.
Post # 7
I agree with the PP. Many times, one partner will come to the marriage with significant assets that should not be considered marital assets. The marrying partner has no right to them, especially if they are in the family. I have no issue with prenups, given that each partner has adequate legal representation.
Post # 8
I didn’t ask him to sign one although he did offer. We both went into our marriage based on forever. Story might be different if assets were over a million.
Post # 9
cosimaskye : I don’t have a problem with it. Better talk about it now when we are both happy. If we won’t need it, great.
Post # 10
My husband and I have one, we both mutually agreed that it wouldnt be a bad idea as we both brought things of considerable value into our relationship and if anything ever did happen we wanted something in place to prevent an ugly split. I think that a prenup is only an issue if you make it into one. my husband and I love each other, we didnt enter our marriage with any intentions of divorcing in the future, however we are both realists and decided it would be something better to have and not need than not have and wish you had.
Post # 11
I dont have a problem with it. It protects both people.
Better to have it and not need it, than to need it and not have it.
Post # 12
I plan to do a pre-nup with my fiancé. He has children to protect, and I have assets that I want to protect. I don’t think we would ever divorce, but no one ever thinks they are going to get divorced and I definitely do not want to give him half of my assets (pension, retirement accounts, other investments) if we do.
Post # 13
Twizbe : I really like the seatbelt analagy. Makes me see a different side actually.
A lot of what you say makes a lot of sense. I may be seeing it more emotionally than it needs to be and seeing it as him not putting 99% into the relationship (which isnt true). But emotions and overthinking does that to me so… it is what it is.
As far as I know myself now, I know I would never go after any of his assets he worked for previous to us being together. However, I guess its true that you never know what you will be like until it happens.
Post # 14
I have two different reasons for being strongly for a pre-nup. The first reason is that I will inherit money from my family that they have designated specifically for me and agree that I should respect their wishes in that way.
I am also a child of divorce, and my parents had a pre-nup. And I will say that because they had laid every detail out in that document before getting married, my parents spent no time fighting over things in court and could therefore spend their time with me and my sister and be a source of support for us rather than a source of strife. Divorce (should it happen) is hard enough emotionally, especially on the children, and I think that if my parents had not had a pre-nup we may not have been able to move through the process of accepting the divorce in the same way, and our relationships with our parents might have been tarnished if we had seen them fighting over such trivial things as furniture.
Post # 15
As I always say – you are signing a pre nup either way. The difference is its decided by you (two), or its decided by the government. A prenup just customizes it to your situations rather than the generic government decided one.