Post # 1
FI went out with some friends last night, stayed at their place, and still isn’t home (it’s almost noon here).
Last night, a couple that we’re friends with got in touch with us and wanted to hang. D, the guy, didn’t get off work until 10:30. By that time I was too tired to want to make the 25 minute drive out to the bar they wanted to go to. Plus, I just got my wisdom teeth taken out a few days ago, and though I’m able to function, I do still need to take my (narcotic) pain pills every so often. So I can’t drink when I take them and they make me really tired anyway.
So FI decides he still wants to go, that’s fine with me. I just wanted to go to bed at that point. He gets out to the bar with only an hour and a half left til close. They go back to the couple’s house and stay up drinking some more. He says he’s going to stay the night. Again, that’s fine. I’d rather him stay there than risk driving home and getting into an accident or getting a DUI.
Yesterday, we made plans to take our dog hiking this morning at a new park we’ve never been to. It’s about a half hour drive, and FI has to work today at 5, so we kind of needed to do this early on in the day. Well, he’s still not home. I text him at 9:30 asking when he’d be home and got no response.
I’m starting to get a little pissed off. I feel like as a 26 year old, engaged man, this is kind of unacceptable behavior. He never does anything like this, so it’s not a recurring issue. But I feel it’s a little… childish.
Would you be pissed?
Post # 2
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
It is a bit childish since you two had plans for this morning. Make sure he knows that it is not something that is okay but if this is a one time deal I think it’s hard to make too big of a deal out of it.
Post # 3
MichiganGirl24: I’d probably be pissed off too.
But maybe his phone is dead? Playing video games? Out to brunch? But either way, he definitely should have contacted you once he woke up some how just for peace of mind.
Post # 4
tampalove35: beachbride1216: He just text me: “Leaving in a minute, sorry baby”
I’m assuming he was so hungover that he just now woke up.
I wasn’t worried about him so much as I’m pissed that we had plans. He knows how much I hate when people break plans, so I’m really surprised he thought it was okay to act this way.
Post # 5
MichiganGirl24: He never does anything like this, so it’s not a recurring issue<br /><br /><br />
I mean, you kind of said it yourself. This isn’t an ongoing issue, so I would just let this one slide. I’m sure he just got super drunk and is probably still sleeping it off on their couch. No biggie, and the dog park will be there next weekend. If it was something he was habitually doing, then yeah– I would be pissed. Being that it isn’t, I just think it is a “pick your battles” type of situation.
Post # 6
I agree that this annoying but not the end of the world. I would suggest that he could pay you back with a foot rub or making your favorite meal or something!
Post # 7
- Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY
If he went to bed past midnight and drunk, it’s not surprising he did not get up early. If it’s not a recurring thing I would let it go.
Post # 8
- Wedding: April 2013 - Rhode Island
I would reserve judgment until you hear from him. He’s probably passed out from staying up late and drinking. As long as he’s ok, I wouldn’t be upset. You can always go on the hike another day. When he’s home and sober, explain to him that you were a bit worried/concerned since he didn’t call you sooner in the day given your plans together. But again, if he was asleep he can’t be held responsible for not calling sooner. IMO, it’s too early to start getting mad without more information.
Post # 9
MichiganGirl24: Not sure I’d say he thought it was ok. Hangovers can really knock your body out physically (probably sleep, like you said). On the other hand, I’d question going out drinking when he knows about morning plans.
Post # 10
I decided to take the dog to the park by myself, before he got home. I come home to find FI sleeping. Really?
Post # 11
Nah. My guess is he slept in. Noon is nothing when you’re hung over. If it’s occasional there’s really nothing to worry about.
Post # 12
MichiganGirl24: What else should be doing? I mean you had already left so getting a nap in seems reasonable to me.
Post # 13
- Wedding: September 2014 - Dallas, TX
MichiganGirl24: It’s definitely annoying, but I don’t think you should be surprised. Sleeping in late and napping is pretty typical hangover behavior. Why didn’t you tell him the night before that it’s fine if he wants to stay out late and spend the night, but you don’t want to it to affect your plans in the morning? That’s what I would have done.
Post # 14
kimmo416: He’s an adult. We had plans. He should know to be home by a reasonable time.
spiffanee: I’m annoyed because there are things he could be doing. LIke the mound of school work he said he had to get done today. Or the pile of dishes he left in the sink before he went out last night. Or cleaning up the mess he made putting the grill together that he bought yesterday. And maybe keeping his plans with his fiance.
It’s not okay, to me, to go out, get drunk, and sleep all day when he had plans to do things. He knows that it’s not okay with me. I’ve lost a friend over it (though she had a serious problem). He could have been considerate enough to set an alarm for the morning to call and tell me that he’s hungover as shit and he’s going to sleep it off a few hours. That would be the considerate, responsible thing to do.
Post # 15
OK hold up. You’re sort of sounding like his mom now. It;’s his responsibility to do his school work and his fault if he doesn’t and his choice. You said this was something he doesn’t do often so I htink you gotta let go a bit. Talk to him about why you’re upset and next time make clearer boundaries.