(Closed) Would you be ticked?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 17
Member
7172 posts
Busy Beekeeper

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MichiganGirl24:  It sounds like you are more pissed off at the fact he chose to go out vs. come home to you.  I’ve been in your shoes, so I can understand how aggrivating it feels – but, it’s really cause and effect.  Meaning – you were ok with him going out (and didn’t say otherwise) and then this is result (him being too tired to hang out with you and sleep the rough night off vs. do chores or anything else).  If the real root is you didn’t want him to go out drinking – then you should have told him vs. getting mad after the fact. 

Post # 18
Member
77 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

Honestly, if he doesn’t do this often I feel like you should let it go. Is it frustrating? Sure. But is it something you should be this angry about? I don’t think so. I bet after his hangover wears off he will apologize and you can tell him something you’d like to have him make it up to you- be it a special date night or going on a hike tomorrow.

Post # 20
Member
1621 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

If this is a once-in-a-while thing, I wouldn’t bust his balls about it. People are human, they make mistakes, disappoint others sometimes etc.  It will be a long life if you have a hard time accepting that when 1. no one got hurt, 2. no one did anything truly dangerous or unforgivable and 3. no one spent the savings account in Vegas.  Choose your battles and be a gracious partner, that’s what I would suggest in this case.  He’ll appreciate it and I think that will go farther to encourage him to not act this way again than loosing your shit on him.

ETA: I’m not implying that you did or will lose your shit on him, I’m just saying that taking a moderate approach and letting him know that yes, you’re a bit disappointed but no, it’s not the end of the world, is a better approach.

But I understand that it’s frustrating. You’re right, it is.  

 

Post # 21
Member
5217 posts
Bee Keeper

Geez— seriously, he went out and got hammered. He is 26 years old, if you can’t go out for a night and get a little shit faced, crash on the couch and spend an entire day recovering ( hello, don’t bounce back as quick as you did when you were 18!) then I don’t know what to tell you. Have a little leniency, it is not that big of a deal and if it is, then you need to learn to relax a little. 

If it was a one time thing, just let it go and laugh about it later.

Post # 22
Member
857 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

I would be upset that he broke a plan. I never care about how much he wants to hang out with his friends as long as when we have plans they are kept. He knows this. If he came home hung over as all hell but on time and willing to go, I’d be fine with it. 

Post # 23
Member
728 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

 

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MichiganGirl24:  It sounds like this is more about your past issues with your friend than with him. Be careful you don’t take it out on him. It’s frustrating, yeah but it shouldn’t be something you’re this upset about. I’m sorry you had such a hurtful past experience with a friend 🙁

Post # 24
Member
2389 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Eh, plans change.  I’m not a big fan of someone telling me that I have to do chores (which will still be there later) or schoolwork (which is my own problem, thank you).  And yeah, it sucks that he messed up your plans, but is the dog park that big a deal?  It’ll still be there another time.  

I am spontaneous and so is my H – I would rather have a good time than get nagged at.

Post # 25
Member
11736 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

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MichiganGirl24:  I don’t think it’s a big deal he’s probably sleeping. It’s not like he does it all the time. My husband does this from time to time and as long as I know he’s safe that’s all I care about considering it’s not something he does on a weekly basis.

Post # 26
Member
7172 posts
Busy Beekeeper

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MichiganGirl24:  For me, the issue would have been that he didn’t hold the plans I had with him in the morning valueable enough to show more self-control at night.  Even if he texted:  “Hey, I’m crashing here and can’t make our plans in the morning” – I would have been still been miffed.  The thing is – you knew were he was, what he was doing, etc.  Your plans got the back burner and that really does stink!   But, the important thing is this isn’t typical behavior for him – so, I say, try to cut him some slack.  It’s hard to recover from an all night drink-fest – esp if you aren’t used to it!  

Post # 28
Member
1092 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Seriously it’s one night. Loosen the leash a bit.

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