(Closed) Would you be upset?

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 17
5070 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

I’d skip it and just go to the reception.

Post # 18
7898 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

1. I would not be uspet. 2. I probably wouldn’t even notice.

Post # 19
1513 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

i wouldnt be upset or notice, but honestly i still think she should go. how much of her time is she really sacraficing to go? an hour? and it will give her something to talk about with her tablemates. 

Post # 21
1375 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I personally think gaps are rude.  Are the bride and groom hosting anything in between the ceremony and the reception?  What are the guests supposed to do in between?  Not just your friend, but all the out of town family members and friends who aren’t necessarily needed during photo time?

To me it sounds like the bride and groom didn’t want to host a full meal at the reception (hence the 8 PM start time) but wanted a ceremony in a specific place (is it a Catholic ceremony?  I know that a lot of Catholic churches will only hold weddings at specific times so as not to interfere with Saturday evening mass.)

Post # 22
3884 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’d feel really uncomfortable doing this— it’s like I only want to show up for the part where there’s free booze and free stuff, and I’m not going to be bothered with the actual ceremony.  While I agree that the gap is really painful, and that folks probably would not notice her absence, I think it’s in poor manners to go through with it. Perhaps she can dress down a bit for the ceremony– not all the way in jeans, but not the full-on black tie swank either– and enjoy a spa treatment or something during the gap.

Post # 23
14050 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

They don’t know her, and they won’t be paying attention.  As long as the Best Man is on board, it’s not a terrible idea..

Post # 25
402 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

View original reply
@sportsgal31:  That is excessive picture taking!  How big is the bridal party that they need that much time?  Two time slots?  WOW!  Do you know if all of these pictures are going to be in various places?  Jeez, I am allotting about 1 hour!

Post # 26
10449 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

That’s a huge gap. She doesn’t even really know them it sounds like, so why go to the ceremony? They absolutely won’t notice.

Post # 27
4673 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I probably wouldn’t notice.  Especially if I don’t know the girl very well.  

Post # 28
9873 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2019

definitely go to the ceremony! if she isn’t wanting to go to the ceremony, which is the whole point of the day, she shouldn’t go to the reception. that’s just my opinion though, which is very different from others. they are still paying for her to attend, so she should show them the courtesy of attending the ceremony when they are getting MARRIED. but i don’t think the huge gap is appropriate, perhaps she can see a movie in between?

Post # 29
3827 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Thats a HUGE gap. The ceremony should be done at 3….they need 5 HOURS to take pictures?

I was going to say attend the the ceremony then watch a movie (more like 3) untill the reception. But now i think she should just skip it and not hurry herself at all for the day. 

Post # 30
2873 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

If shes a plus one then i dotn see the issue with her just going to the ceremony, given that the guy will be busy with bridal party stuff.If it were a one hour gap, then she should go to the ceremony, but that long is completely ridiculous. Its a greta example of the bride and groom not considering their guests at all

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