(Closed) Would you be upset if……….

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
1235 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

My mom said the same thing to my fiancé but she was kidding. Are you sure it wasn’t in jest?

Post # 4
2063 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Whoa whoa whoa. I think that parents generally ask, “Are you sure?” They are parents and its their job to ensure that their child is getting engaged to a man who is sure of his decisions. It probably was just a way to open up the conversation about your relationship and talk before okaying the engagement.

After all, if you Fiance had backed down after this simple question, it would have saved you a ton of pain.

Post # 5
14661 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I dont think it’s that bad.  She’s a mom, she just wants to make sure?  My mom asked me the same thing when I called to tell my parents we were engaged.  First words out of her mouth were “Are you sure???”  I thought she meant are you sure you’re engaged, cause I had just said ‘we’re engaged’ and I said.. ‘yes, I’m looking at a ring on my finger!’ and she goes, “No, are you sure you want to get married!?”.   I just brushed it off and everythign was fine after that.

Post # 6
2414 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

My dad asked my Fiance if I was making him do it! Haha. Honestly,parents are just looking out for you and making sure you are making sound decisions. I laughed when I heard my dad asked that, but my parents are divorced and wanted to make sure that my Fiance was really ready to propose before he actually did it.

Post # 7
3942 posts
Honey bee

I think my mom said something similar. It wasn’t because she doubted us, it was just like a normal reaction I guess? Even when parents expect an engagement to come soon, it’s still usually surprising when he asks.

Post # 8
9482 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

I agree with PPs.  I think it’s normal for parents to ask if you two are sure.  It’s a big step in life.

Post # 9
869 posts
Busy bee

Why do you think they responded that way?  Had you been together for long prior to the conversation?  Are you younger than the average couple getting married these days?  At the end of the day, what matters is that your Fiance asked you, because he loves you.  (Not that it’s exactly the same, but it kind of reminds me of The Bachelor this season with Kacie B’s parents…they totally ruined it for her.)  Luckily, your Fiance seems to have your back and knows that what you have going on is great.

Post # 10
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

Well, what’s the point of asking them if their opinions don’t matter at all? I don’t think your mom was too out of line, I think it’s fine to just ask if you’re sure.

Post # 11
46590 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Lighten up. All the way up the aisle my Dad kept saying ” It’s not too late to change your mind”.

I think that parents just want the best for us and I definitely think she meant no harm.

Post # 12
1470 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@sweetchiquita12:  My parents had a entire list of questions including that one, they also asked my Fiance what he would do if i said no, If he was sure? Why he loves me and wants to marry me? how would he feel if i started making more $ then him? The went on and on and on with questions…. After he proposed he told me about their secret meeting and about all the questions, I laughed, thats just like my parents!!!  I asked my parents how Fiance did, they loved the answeres he came up with!!! He realy thought on his feet and gave honest answers.  I though it was great, brought them closer together.  Fiance also told me that when he picked up my e-ring he called them telling him he had gotten a ring wanted to talk to them and show them, they didnt meet until a few days later, I told Fiance it was his own fault, he knows my dad and he gave my dad too much time to prepare and think about it!!!  LOL it was great, i was not upset at all, neither was Fiance

Post # 13
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

I think it seems like a normal question. 

Post # 14
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

i would be more upset if my Fiance I asked my Dad for permission to marry me than my mom saying are you sure

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