(Closed) Would you be upset if a placeholder bm skipped the bachelorette?

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Would you care if your placeholder BM declined to attend your bachelorette?

    I'd be pretty upset.

    I'd be slightly bummed, but not too badly.

    I wouldn't care.

    I'd almost she rather stay home since we don't actually know each other.

  • Post # 3
    4192 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

    The only event you’re required to attend is the wedding. Just tell her that you already had plans for that weekend, and will be there in spirit.

    Post # 4
    4462 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    If I asked a girl to be in my wedding as a placeholder and she declined the bachelorette party I probably wouldn’t be too bummed since I’m obviously not that close to her! 

    Post # 5
    1847 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    Unless you’re totally sure she only picked you to even out the sides, I would be optimistic and assume she picked you to get closer to you and become better friends. She may have been hoping that these types of activities would help. Of course it’s possible she won’t care, but maybe you’re really someone she wants to get to know. $65 also doesn’t seem too bad for a bachelorette party, so I don’t know if the cost is a persuasive enough excuse to back out. If your mind is made up, you should think of a more compelling-sounding reason. 

    Post # 7
    56 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    View original reply
    @anonybee_24:  I would tell her that you had already made plans for your anniversary, but make a date to go get your nails done (something you might already be doing for the wedding) or go get drinks somewhere, something casual. That way, you are still spending time with her and getting to know her, rather than being absent until the wedding.


    Or even offer to run a wedding errand with her, to show you care/are involved.

    Post # 8
    10354 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2010

    No, but if I were a placeholder bridesmaid, i’d be pretty upset that the bride cared more about even numbers than just having the most important people in her life stand up with her.

    The only thing you’re required to attend is the wedding.

    Post # 9
    6258 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2013 - The Liberty House

    I wouldn’t care, but I also wouldn’t have a placeholder bridesmaid. In your case I’d probably still go, though. Maybe you can write her a nice note?

    Post # 10
    3089 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I might be disappointed, if I had my reasons for asking and you accepted the role.

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