(Closed) Would you be upset if bridesmaid wanted to wear this?

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Should I just let her wear this dress?
    Yes, you're being unreasonable : (15 votes)
    6 %
    No, it's too casual : (92 votes)
    39 %
    No, it has too much white : (112 votes)
    48 %
    Other (see my note below) : (14 votes)
    6 %
  • Post # 32
    2414 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I wouldn’t have her wear this. But, I also have a very strong opinon about people not wearing white to a wedding. At all.

    Post # 33
    2050 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    @Beckster329:  Neiman Marcus, anyone?

    You can swap out the belt for a different color, or use a thick ribbon, or no belt at all:

    http://www.neimanmarcus.com/product.jsp?icid=&searchType=MAIN&rte=%252Fsearch.jsp%253FNo%253D60%2526Ntt%253DPurple%252BDresses%2526_requestid%253D12920%2526N%253D0&eItemId=prod145060191&itemId=prod145060191&parentId=&cmCat=search’ defer=’defer

    This one has a nice tailored shape — don’t be thrown by the model’s wacky pose:

    http://www.neimanmarcus.com/product.jsp?icid=&searchType=MAIN&rte=%252Fsearch.jsp%253FNo%253D0%2526Ntt%253DPurple%252BDresses%2526_requestid%253D12920%2526N%253D4294967275%2526va%253Dt&eItemId=prod137810062&itemId=prod137810062&parentId=&cmCat=search’ defer=’defer

    You may even be able to find one of the above designs from Macy’s elsewhere. I don’t like Macy’s anymore either because I had a string of customer service issues with them, but they are sometimes a good starting point.

    Post # 34
    2092 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    Can I just say your dress is STUNNING?! 🙂

    I agree with PPs there’s too much white in the dress your friend has chosen.

    Post # 35
    4464 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    Unless you told them the purple could be patterned I would say that dress will not fit in. It isn’t purple, it’s white and purple. It also really doesn’t look formal enough. It can’t be super hard to find a pretty knee length purple dress, so I don’t think your restrictions are too much. When I was planning I chose matching dresses for the bridesmaids because I knew my friends would all have totally different ideas about what shade “navy” really is and what the dress would look like. I got called a bridezilla when I told someone I wanted matching dressed. Yay!

    Post # 36
    1416 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    I would find a few choices that I liked and then show them to her and say “this is what I was thinking of, either find one just like these or pick one of these”…some brides say you have to wear the same dress whether you like it or not whether it suits your body or not…so I don’t think it’s mean to say “stay within these constraints” 

    Post # 37
    1157 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I would tell her it needs to be a color.Purple is my favorite color.I don’t like the dress at all.

    Post # 38
    54 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I voted for other, you’re right the pattern doesn’t go with your dress.. YOUR dress is the most important… Maybe offer to go shopping with her if it’s possible?

    Post # 39
    813 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    too casual! your dress is gorgeous though!

    Post # 41
    2031 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    It’s definitely not a bridesmaid’s dress…it looks very casual next to your formal gown (which is beautiful) and the pattern will absolutely stand out.  I like the idea of telling her it needs to be solid, and sending her links to dresses you like.  If she is STILL being difficult, I’d say there’s an underlying issue with her…let her pick what she wants and tell your photographer at the wedding to have her farthest away from you in all pictures.  Most of the time, if someone is trying to steal a bride’s thunder, it backfires and she looks selfish and childish…but that’s just my humble opinion.  

    Post # 42
    95 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    if you didn’t say in the beginning patterns are ok, and she hasn’t bought the dress (which could present an issue) then I would tell her no it’s not formal enough and you only want your Maid/Matron of Honor to be in a pattern. I agree with others suggestions that you send her your other girls dresses (pictures and a few other you really like) and tell her more of what the feel is you are looking for – it could very well be that without more guidelines she’s confused. You aren’t being picky or a bridezilla by turning down the dress, but it may get very frustrating if you keep turning down her dress choices without giving her some more clear guidelines.

    Post # 44
    4272 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    @Beckster329:  I don’t think you should have given them too much freedom on their dresses. That is very cool of you and all, but I think you should have gone to jcrew or nordstroms and picked them their dress. I am saying this, because although I have given mine freedom on their hair and shoes, I know that they would pull **** like what you were going through. I love them to death, but I have to question their tastes sometimes…

    With that being said…I hate that dress!

    Post # 45
    6040 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2019 - City, State

    @Beckster329:  I would start to be a jerk about it lol but thats just me. She isnt even my bridesmaid and im annoyed for you. I would respond with “well then find an ugly one as long as its effin purple!!!!!! with no pattern!!!!! here let me send you links and you tell me what is wrong with each of these and then ill go off of that. if you cant find one ill find one for you. if we cannot reach a reasonable agreement im going to pull rank and choose your dress. this is insane.”

    I think with how loose your guidelines are this shouldnt be that hard. I get the feeling she is trying to make herself stand out.

    Post # 46
    4411 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: December 2010 - Savannah, GA

    It’s a really cute dress.  I’d tell her she could wear it any time she wanted, except to your wedding. She needs to find another dress… Maybe you could send her pictures of the dresses the other girls have selected so she can actually see that the dresses she’s been selecting don’t fit with your wedding idea and give her an idea of what will work. 

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