Post # 1
My SO proposed with a promise ring, a very small dainty one that looks nothing like an engagement ring. (his friend and family members have been married, he knows what one looks like) and I mentioned this so he suggested we go ring shopping together. The ring was $120 if anyone’s curious.
We purchase a bridal set, small $1500 for the set. 0.33CT total. I was happy and thrilled to have a nice piece of jewelry to represent our love and engagement. Made me feel like he put a bit more thought into it.
We go and show it off to our families and they love it and are happy for us. A month later, he tells me we have to return the ring. I was heartbroken and he told me to stop acting like a baby about it.
Now I’m stuck with the promise ring as my engagement ring. There is a tiny tiny diamond in that doesn’t even show on the stats as anything because its too small
How would you feel if he proposed with a promise ring? Anyone else have a promise ring as an engagement ring?
I’m to the point I’m going to save and buy my own e ring
Post # 2
- Wedding: April 2017 - Hogarths, Solihull
Why did you have to return the ring? 🙁
Post # 3
Do you have a picture?
why did you have to return the bridal set? I personally wouldn’t have been thrilled with a promise ring but I’d be more worried as to why you had to return the other ring and that he told you to ‘stop being a baby about it’ that’s so rude and hurtful.
Post # 4
Why did you have to return the ring? It seems silly if he bought it knowing full well he couldn’t afford it. Are finances a concern for the two of you?
Post # 5
Had to return the ring after we showed all our family because he thought $1500(that’s with tax and extended warranty) was too much and when I questioned why since some people would spend more on just ONE ring he said he was just telling me what I wanted to hear at the time(going ring shopping, i didnt even suggest it.. He did when we were getting the car serviced) and that we could upgrade sometime down the road.
Post # 7
could you afford the $1500 set? I don’t understand why he would buy it for you if he couldnt.. And taking it away after you loved it so much is pretty awful. If he always like this? Does he buy himself expensive items?
Post # 8
How old are you guys? How are your finances?
Post # 9
I wouldn’t marry him yet. He isn’t ready and it has nothing to do with the size of the ring. Sometimes that’s all a guy can afford. It has more to do with the fact that he lied and played a game with your emotions. That isn’t cool.
Post # 10
I’d be more upset about him giving then taking away, as opposed to being upset about the promise ring.
If you’re ready to get engaged, a couple should understand each other’s financial position so, unless he’s being cheap for cheaps sake, it shouldn’t have been a shock that an expensive ring wasn’t an option.
I really don’t understand buying a bridal set he couldn’t afford and then taking it back. Dick move, in my opinion.
Post # 11
Is $120 truly what he can afford? It is shitty that you had to return the other one, but the choice was to pay rent or pay for a ring, rent is the right choice. If he can easily afford $1500 though, I would see it differently. Does he have expensive hobbies, car, etc?
Also, echoing PPs about his attitude — it sucks. “I wish I could afford a more expensive ring but I can’t right now” is way different than “I was just saying what you wanted to hear, now quit being a baby.”
Post # 12
I could afford it after the holidays, which I plan on doing if nothing changes. I would really want the same set back. We chose it together and I did really love it. He said he did it to make me happy and he has no problem wanting to buy a new TV when the one we have works fine and he spent the equivalent of the promise ring cost for a fishing trip
Post # 13
Sorry to hear about this, imagine2:
. Yes, I’d accept a promise ring as an e-ring if 1) we had discussed it or 2) he explained his financial strategy (doing a small ring now with an upgrade later) and that I was comfortable with that.
Post # 15
he can afford more and I wouldn’t say anything if it was return the set or pay rent. I deal with all the bills and we’re fine money wise I wanted to find something cheaper but I thought the price for 2 rings was a good deal. Maybe I’m wrong. He has hobbies(fishing, video games, going out with friends), car, 4×4 and we have 3 dogs together.