(Closed) would you be upset if you future MIL planned on wearing this?

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: what's a bride to do?
    heck yes, that's nuts : (220 votes)
    75 %
    no, who cares : (24 votes)
    8 %
    maybe a little, but not worth any drama, you're stressed enough : (48 votes)
    16 %
  • Post # 47
    Member
    411 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: January 2011

    I think the dress is a lot more pink than it seems in the picture…just look at the “white” dresser in the background! We all know how light can affect coloration.

    I wouldn’t stress about it too much. Maybe suggest she put a colored flower or something on it (or get her a pin on corsage). No is going to mistake her for you – it’s not worth the fight. Pick your battles – do you really want to start one with someone who will be in your life for a looong time?

    Post # 48
    Member
    1315 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    Well it does sound like this is a genuine mistake.

    So, go with your original idea, that Other People thought it was your dress pic when they saw it By Accident on your PC/ phone whatever.

    Be sure to be as nice as possible, that it never entered your head, but would she mind getting something else?

    You’d be afraid of someone saying something to her, you’ve got a great aunt who thinks Tact is something you use instead of nails to put up pictures, and you wouldn’t want her (FMIL) to be hurt by someone saying something mean….

     

    Lay it on thick. Obv you know her well, it was a silly mistake, and srsly, if she can easily afford another outfit, that clinches it. I wouldn’t anticipate any relationship difficulties if  -IF!!- you handle it really gently.

    Post # 49
    Member
    1641 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Wait…what color is it? If it is peach, I would be fine with it. If it is white or cream, well…then maybe nt. Unfortunately, you already told her you are ok with it. Saying anything else at this point would not be right. Having you Fiance say something… honestly, that makes you look a bit immature and like you can’t be honest with her.

    I’m sujre it will be obvious that you are the bride. Maybe you are worrying for nothing.

    Post # 50
    Member
    277 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    It does have a peach color in the picture, and on a person it will come out more peach than white too (especially if she has rosy colored skin).

    Honestly, I know where you’re coming from (my mom almost bought an ivory dress!), but I think it won’t play out as badly as some people make it out to be.

    Post # 51
    Member
    7770 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    She is 57 and gorgeous, I guess I see that as a good thing.  Anyhow, I understand how you feel, but she will look completely different from you.  Hopefully it turns out to be very peach in color.  “What other people wear at the wedding” is a difficult topic.  My maid of honor wants to have her boobs showing and be in ruffles!!!!

    Post # 52
    Member
    445 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2009

    K, that’s just not cool for the Mother of the Groom. Or any wedding guest.

    (Must admit, I giggled when I pictured MY mother-in-law in something like that.)

    Post # 53
    Member
    14492 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    OMG!  Are you kidding?  I would probably have lied also, but I still would have been ticked.  I have been also worried about this situation coming up with our wedding, but I have been talking to another bride-to-be in the family and bringing up how I have read this situation on the blogs and was astonished.  I have been laying the heavy hints to his family for months I hope this cures the possibility of problems.  One of the family members wore an ivory suit to their sons weddings and I do not want that at mine.

    Post # 54
    Member
    7770 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    PS -perhaps she can wear a bolero or a shawl…

    Post # 55
    Member
    713 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2010

    looking at it close, i agree that it looks like its pinker than the photo shows.  i would get her a cute shawl or something and leave it at that… unless when you see it in person it IS really ivory… then i dunno, if you dont say something you chance her being totally mortified at the wedding if it just never crossed her mind not to wear something like that?

    Post # 56
    Member
    523 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2009

    I don’t see what the big deal is.  It’s not white, it’s not off white, it’s not ivory, it’s obviously beige or peach.  Look at how starkly and clearly it contrasts with the white behind it.  I wasn’t aware that brides are offended by all pastel colors now.  If you’re still bothered by it for some reason, ask her to wear dark accessories.  You could ask her to add a dark chunky necklace, a dark sash, a dark brooch, dark shoes, or a dark shaw, or some combination thereof.

    Post # 57
    Member
    1254 posts
    Bumble bee

    I like Ms Sassy’s idea about feeding her treats and sweets. Maybe in 5 years she won’t fit into it. Innocent

    Tell her it is a great looking dress that she can wear to her vow renewal (if she is married) or to her own wedding (if she is single). In any case, even if she decided to wear the dress, guests will be whispering about how great you look (the bride) and her obvious faux pas especially as Mother-In-Law.

    Post # 58
    Member
    792 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I agree that it looks more pink to me than white, because taht dresser behind the picture is white to me, not the dress.

    Post # 59
    Member
    436 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2009

    Can you say that it is a beautiiful dress but after thinking about it, the dress isn’t appropriate for a wedding.  Can you suggest that she wear it to a shower or the rehearsal dinner?

    Post # 60
    Member
    255 posts
    Helper bee

    Totally give her HEAPS of baking.

    Hopefully she’ll “fill out”


          OMG I am such a cow!

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