(Closed) would you be upset if you future MIL planned on wearing this?

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: what's a bride to do?
    heck yes, that's nuts : (220 votes)
    75 %
    no, who cares : (24 votes)
    8 %
    maybe a little, but not worth any drama, you're stressed enough : (48 votes)
    16 %
  • Post # 61
    Member
    9053 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2010

    Ok, in that picture that dress looks white.  If you live near her I would arrange to drop by and ask to see it in person as you “couldn’t really get the full effect” from the email.  If she lives further away, she obviously has the fabric, so get her to send you a swatch.  If you want a cover, tell her you’re trying to make sure you plan for a corsage that matches nicely, or just be honest that you’re afraid it’s white. 

    If you see it in person/get a swatch you can tell her that although you really DID love the dress, now that you see the fabric in person, it’s MUCH closer to white than you thought it was, and would prefer to be the only one in white.  And, if it’s actually peach, no problem!

    Post # 62
    Member
    711 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    It seems so crazy to me that this could actually ruin a bride’s wedding day. Someone wearing a peach coloured dress would ruin the day where you get to marry the person you love surrounded by other people that love and care for you? Honestly a really good friend of mine wore a white dress to my wedding. It was white – it was long, and she rocked it. If I let that ruin my day then that would havebeen really sad. Instead I danced and had a blast. I just dont think these are things to stress over. If this would actually ruin a brides day then she is missing the entire point of hte day and she could possible ruin her own day stressing. This will not mean anything on your day – trust me on this one. you are going to be getting your hair and make up done – glowing, putting on your gown, glowing. You are going to be on cloud nine just thinkng about walking down the asile to your husband-to-be – this dress will be an after thought by the day of the wedding – and so it should be – the day is about you and your husband! 

    Post # 63
    Member
    2857 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2011 - Bartram's Garden

    Yeah, it’s a very bridal dress but I don’t think it’s worth stressing over. Like the PP said, if you let this ruin your day, you’re missing the whole point of a wedding. You have a ballgown, nobody is going to mistake her for you, and if anything, other people will probably think that she’s inappropriate. But it shouldn’t reflect on you at all.

    I wouldn’t worry about it.

    Post # 64
    Member
    804 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2010

    I’d do what you thought of and tell her you showed the pictures to other people and they thought it was your dress. Hopefully she’ll find that mortifying and at least want to dye it a more appropriate colour.

    Post # 65
    Member
    3761 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    She can always have the dress dyed even a few shades darker. 

    Post # 66
    Member
    114 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    It looks like a wedding dress…I would try to find someone to talk to her. That way you can stay out of it.

    Post # 67
    Member
    2203 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Can you Fiance talk to her? It would smooth relations between you and her if he did the talking in a nice way.

    Is she planning on wearing any kind of wrap or shrug/bolero?

    Post # 68
    Member
    454 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: February 2011

    the dresser in the background looks white white and the dress looks pink to me next to it. i would wait until she shows you the dress in person. i think you might be making too big a deal over it, because in all honesty, i think that it really is peachy-pink. i do agree that the style is definitely bridal looking though.

    Post # 69
    Member
    829 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2010

    If its peach then who cares… but if your dress is ivory not white maybe I would care a little. I think its really pretty…

    So yea if its really peachy dont sweat it 🙂

    Post # 70
    Member
    652 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    Hell yes I would be mad!  If we had a good relationship and she asked, I would be ok.  But if she just went out and bought a white dress, Fiance would have to have a chat with her, preferably while he drives her to the store to return the dress…

     

    EDIT:  I just looked at it again, and I think it might be the picture.  I can see that it is definitely not white.  And since you guys have a great relationship, it doesn’t sound like she’s trying to make a statement.  I wouldn’t worry about it. 

    Post # 71
    Member
    90 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    I wouldn’t worry about it, it’s not like people will think you dressed her. But if you do want her to change it, you should get your fiance to say something rather than you doing it. If she’s not the type to throw a tantrum, maybe he could say “Mom, that’s an awesome dress but looks more like a wedding dress than brideybridebride’s dress does!” or something like that.

    Post # 72
    Member
    1161 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    There is NO WAY I’d personally chose this to make a fuss over.  It’s inappropriate, yes.  Everyone is going to know it is inappropriate.  But it’s not going to make  you any less lovely, and you won’t be speding much time looking at her, and In My Humble Opinion not worth a fight.  If it bothers you enough to be worth the fight (and the key to getting along with people is choosing your battles), then definitely have Fiance talk with her about it. 

    Post # 73
    Member
    195 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    I totally agree with LadyGoodman!

    Post # 74
    Member
    6659 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: May 2010

    Honestly, if I were you I would just let her be and not do anything about it. I also wouldn’t compliment the dress either, I’d just be silent about it in general. Tell her she looks beautiful and has a great body/whatever, but don’t compliment the dress.

    I would also have the florist make her a large corsage in a color darker and different than my bridal bouquet that she has to wear on her wrist, denoting her as a parent.

    Seriously and honestly, no matter what she wears, no one is going to mistake her as the bride. Sure, in this dress she will stand out and get probably more attention than an average Mom in a wedding, but everyone will be looking at/focusing on you.

    Post # 75
    Member
    542 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2010

    I would def recommend to my Mother-In-Law to make it a short dress! I would NOT be happy!

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