Would you be upset if you got a sapphire engagement ring

posted 2 years ago in Engagement
Post # 76
2912 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

I was one that said if my future husband picked out a ring that he thought I would like, like he really, really put thougt into it and asked my friends, then yeah, I could learn to love something like that. However, the OP’s attitude is really rubbing me the wrong way. I get the impression that he is picking out the biggest stone he can afford because he wants to look good. And the fact that his girlfriend pinned one ring that has since been determined to he a Tanzanite, if the girlfriend doesn’t like it, he can call her materialistic and claim that he picked a ring that she pinned.

Nope. I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship like that.

For $5,000 you could get her a beautiful diamond instead of a 1.9ct stone I don’t recognize.

Post # 77
7934 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Just ask her. You don’t have to get too detailed about the stone you’re eyeing, but at least you can get a sense of if she’s dead set on a clear stone. Everyone is different, so our opinions don’t matter that much. 

Post # 78
2357 posts
Buzzing bee

Wow. I, too, am uncomfortable with this talk of an engagement ring as a test.  Sheesh.  I hope that with that mentality, the OP is willing to happily accept birthday and other holiday presents he does not particularly love for the rest of his life . . .

I also keep thinking.. what if he ges the sapphire and doesn’t like it? How awkward will that make things with his friend? Or if his Girlfriend expresses a strong preference for a diamond/moissanite/morganite, will the OP feel comfortable returning the sapphire to his friend?

There’s a reason why most of us bees recommend against using ‘friendors”.  

Post # 79
11469 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

OP, while I don’t disagree with you in principle that an engagement ring is a gift and a symbol, and that a surprise proposal can be special, I also think that with something like a colored stone, you should probably know, not guess that she’d love it.

I don’t think Pinterest is necessarily evidence that a blue stone is her first choice. Hope we’re all wrong, though. You know her best.

Even if you bought wholesale, the only way you’d recoup costs is if your friend agreed to resell or repurchase it. I agree with the PP who says used rings go for only a fraction of what you pay.

Post # 80
195 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

Yes, I’d be very surprised and not sure if I would love it. I probably wouldn’t say anything since it would break his little heart so I’d just try to learn to love it.

Post # 81
1970 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

rubiryan :  a sapphire would have surprised me. I think I would have probably been ok with it after I got over the initial surprise. I don’t know. The proposal was a surprise, but I also had an idea it was coming. I was definitely expecting a diamond. 

Post # 82
363 posts
Helper bee

My first thought would’ve been a no go as I too describe myself as not blingy and I wouldn’t like a halo nor a colored stone, but after you shared her pinterest page with all of the pear cuts and the colored stones, I think you’re on the right track. 

It’s tricky because I don’t describe myself as blingy. My fiance opted for a large diamond with a minimalist setting, and the size of the diamond took some getting used to for me. (Not that I’d ever complain about that…) 

The bottom line is, if you know she’ll love it then go for it. This is a riskier one but the screenshot of her pinterest did it for me.

Post # 83
5755 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

I have a sapphire and I love it. My husband and I had a discussion about it, though, and designed my ring together so he was assured I would love it. The stone you posted is gorgeous. And, in her place, I would definitely be touched by the fact that you’re designing the ring with her in mind.

Post # 84
1155 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2018 - Fremont, CA

The majority of the rings she pinned are diamond rings. So that’s where her heart is.

Go online to pricescope or blue Nile and see for yourself. You can get hear a beautiful 1.0ct pear for close to 4K. Add a setting for about 2k. A halo one.

You say she is not into blingy stuff, but girls who like halos usually do like bling.

It’s 6k for the ring of her dreams – instead of spending close to 4k and saving about 2k for a ring she would probably settle for, not love. She is worth the investment. And if 6k is too much, pick a smaller diamond that  fits your budget. 

Post # 85
100 posts
Blushing bee

You could always approach it like “My buddy just decided to propose and he bought a sapphire for the ring instead of a diamond! Isn’t that something?” And see her reaction. If her reaction is one of judgement or she says “Sapphires are pretty but NOT for an engagement ring!”, you know where she stands.

Post # 86
686 posts
Busy bee

I would not be upset if my Boyfriend or Best Friend decided to propose with a sapphire. I WOULD be upset if my Boyfriend or Best Friend thought my reaction to an engagement ring was a reflection of my character.


Sure, if he bought me a 1 ct diamond and I threw a hissy fit because I wanted 2 cts, I could see it. But if he bought me a sapphire in rose gold, and I would have prefered a comparably priced ring in a different color or metal.

For what it’s worth, I think there’s a good chance she’ll love it – but this is a pretty personal issue. If she has no idea a proposal is coming, you might have a bigger issue when you find she’s not ready for marriage or doesn’t appreciate being blindsighted about a major life decision. But, your choice bro.

Post # 87
2864 posts
Sugar bee

People are so funny.. I feel like a lot of people have completely missed the point of this post. 

In response to your original question – no i would not be upset about getting a saphire. I have a saphire and I love it. I specifically didn’t want a diamond, it’s much more common now for people to go with alternative stones.

Of course this is a very personal thing to do with taste, but from what you’ve told us of her taste (pinning halos, pear shaped, rose gold, non diamonds etc) I think she’s going to love it. That diego blue is fantastic – but obviously it’s not my taste you’re after, just whether it seems like you are on the right track with HERS. 

Post # 88
1611 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

wolfeyes :  did you miss the part where most of her Pinterest was diamonds and those coloured stones made up about 30%? 

Post # 89
2864 posts
Sugar bee

chocochai :  There are also significantly more diamond rings to pin in the first place. I even had some diamonds pinned on mine despite specifically not wanting one just because most of the options out there are diamonds so I took ideas from the settings. He has also said that he can recoup the cost if she winds up wanting a diamond. He wants it to be a surprise, which a lot of women find the more romantic option (not me personally, but many people I’ve spoken to). 

Post # 90
4826 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

wolfeyes :  he also said if she wants a diamond he wouldn’t want to marry her anymore as the engagement ring is a test of her character.

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