Post # 1
So, my mom is a real estate salesperson and a close friend of mine (I was her Bridesmaid or Best Man at her wedding 2 years ago) is looking to buy a house with her Darling Husband. She was asking me a lot of questions and I told her that she should call my mom and talk to her.
I figured it was a win-win situation. The buyer doesn’t have to pay the commission, the seller does, so I figured it wasn’t like my friend would have to pay my mom or anything, but my mom could make a nice commission off the sale and my parents could really use the money right now.
Well, my mom took friend out to see a house and friend did not like it. My mom then referred her to someone else in her office b/c apparently my mom only does rentals (she just switched offices a few weeks ago and I didn’t know this) and she didn’t want to upset her boss or step on anyone’s toes by working on a sale.
Friend then messaged me that she put a bid on a house that was accepted, but not through my mom. She said that she hadn’t heard from her, so she just went with someone else. I was very happy for friend and mad at my mom for not paying my friend more attention and missing out on a potentially $13k commission. So, I texted my mom that she should have taken my friend out more and she said that she and the lady she referred friend to both left her messages and friend never called back.
All of this happened within 1 week. Personally, I feel like if I were in friend’s shoes, I would have tried to reach out to my mom or me and tried harder to work with someone that I know worked with me for a few hours already instead of go with a perfect stranger. I’m also upset that my friend lied to me – did she really think that I wasn’t going to find out from my mom that my mom called her and she never called back???
I haven’t said anything to friend, but I think it’s kind of shitty that she did this. If she didn’t want to work with my mom, she should have said no or just called my mom back and said there was another house with another agent she was going to see.
What do you guys think? Was she being inconsiderate? I don’t think I’m going to say anything to her, but I do think I’m just going to pocket this information in the back of my mind and remember what she’s like.
Post # 3
I hate it when people don’t call me back after I’ve called them. Drives me crazy!
I think your friend should have been more patient and considerate, definitely, considering you were trying to be friendly and help her out! But it’s also possible that she didn’t want to feel obligated to purchase anything just because it was your mom, and it made her feel uncomfortable, and she didn’t know how to talk to you about it. Sometimes people find it easier to ignore a problem or feelings than confront them directly.
That doesn’t make it right, of course. I think you were very nice to try and help her out. I wouldn’t confront her, but like you said, just keep that tidbit in the back of your mind. She probably didn’t do it to be mean, but she might have felt pressured (even though it was imagined). It’s all good, just let it roll off your back.
Post # 4
Honesty, this is why it is not a good idea to do business with friends or family members of friends. Sadly, I have friends who have done business with their friends or their friends’ family members, and it often has turned out badly and resulted in the loss of some of those relationships.
Post # 5
Your mom referred her to someone else… I don’t see the issue?? Would your mom have received any of the commission had your friend went with the referral?
Post # 6
Hmm..your friend def shouldn’t have lied to you. However, if she’s anything like some female friends I know (who are on the timid side), she might not have had the heart to tell your mom “no” and instead decided to act clueless/flaky…especially since she’s friends with you.
I know for a fact that my very own best friend is capable of doing something like this. I love her for her kind soul, but it’s also because of this quality that she’s completely incapable of saying “no” to anyone. And instead, she’ll act all flaky.
I know I’m not perfect myself, so I can overcome my bestie’s flaws – we just understand each other.
If you choose to confront your friend though, you can always just do it casually… (“Hey, so whatever happened when my mom showed you some houses? She told me that she tried to follow up with you….”) See what she says!
Post # 7
@Brielle: I never mix biz w/ pleasure. I figured this would be an ok exception b/c friend wasn’t the one paying my mom. Guess I didn’t think about the possibility that friend would just go with another agent after my mom answered all her questions and took her out. I totally get not liking every house an agent shows you or whatever, but I just wish she had been honest and said, “I didn’t like what your mom was showing me and I just felt like maybe we weren’t on the same page.” I’d get that. But lying to me and blaming my mom for not calling when there were TWO messages left in 1 week???? Mehhhh, I thought that was a little low.
Post # 8
First off, there’s a chance she never got the messages – my Husband’s phone sometimes doesn’t get voicemail until a week later. Secondly, buying a home is a really big deal and there are a lot of factors that go into that sort of decision, so I wouldn’t take it personally that she went with someone else. Besides, sounds like she fell in love with a house and pounced! It is a bummer that she went with someone else, but I think you should just let it go.
Post # 9
@leembee: Yes. It was the same office and they would have shared the commission, she wouldn’t have made the full $13k, but she would have made something.
Post # 10
@Torrid: I don’t think she meant to be mean, I just think she did whatever was most convenient for her and she felt like doing at the time. This isn’t the first time she has done something similar (just done what’s easiest for her). I just think she’s been kinda selfish lately.. makes me kind of sad to come to this realization.
Post # 11
Perhaps your friend didn’t like the company your mother worked for, and/or didn’t think she was very competent? It’s easier to say, “I never heard from your mom” than “Your mom’s company is a bunch of amateurs who I found really hard to deal with”.
I would let it go.
Post # 12
@futuremrsk18: I’m sorry she’s been that kind of friend to you lately. She doesn’t deserve to have a friend like you looking out for her if she’s going to take you for granted. Well, now that you have a better idea of what kind of friend she is, you can better guard yourself in the future. I’m sorry she rubbed you the wrong way. *hug*
Post # 13
Yeah, sorry. It’s buying a house. It’s a big deal for your friend and she should go with a seller that makes her comfortable. If she was “passed on” to your mom’s coworker, she probably thought it was best to do it herself instead. I see no reason why you should be mad about it. I also dont see where she lied to you.
Post # 14
@futuremrsk18: My dads a real estats agent as well and I think a lot of time people really just don’t understand how the whole deal works. Like that your mom would have gotten money at no direct cost to her. I can see how if she found a house she liked herself that she might think she was Saving herself paying a realtor when really she just ended up paying double commission to the selling agent and had no advocate for her own interests if she just called up the person on the sign out front.
Post # 15
I come from a family of real estate. Basically, I was raised on commissions LOL…my dad does commercial and my mom does residential. To sum up the industry SHIT HAPPENS. The most current drama going on in my mom’s life is that a great friend of hers decided to work with TWO agents- my mom being one of them and another agent who is also the lady’s long time friend..While it is upsetting, I am sure your mom is used to it and I wouldn’t let it get in the way of your friendship.
Post # 16
Something else to consider…if your friend went with the listing agent as her broker= double commission for the listing agent (as a PP mentioned)…sometimes the listing agent will push harder for the potential buyer to get the house since double commission is involved…they aren’t supposed to but this is what happens.