(Closed) Would You Be Upset @ Your Friend (NWR)?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Would You Be Upset?
    Yes - that's really messed up and inconsiderate : (7 votes)
    9 %
    No - that's the nature of the real estate beast : (56 votes)
    70 %
    Maybe - I need more information (ask away!) : (6 votes)
    8 %
    Other (explain below) : (2 votes)
    3 %
    Yes - she lied to you and lying is not okay : (9 votes)
    11 %
  • Post # 3
    2523 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    I hate it when people don’t call me back after I’ve called them. Drives me crazy!

    I think your friend should have been more patient and considerate, definitely, considering you were trying to be friendly and help her out! But it’s also possible that she didn’t want to feel obligated to purchase anything just because it was your mom, and it made her feel uncomfortable, and she didn’t know how to talk to you about it. Sometimes people find it easier to ignore a problem or feelings than confront them directly.

    That doesn’t make it right, of course. I think you were very nice to try and help her out. I wouldn’t confront her, but like you said, just keep that tidbit in the back of your mind. She probably didn’t do it to be mean, but she might have felt pressured (even though it was imagined). It’s all good, just let it roll off your back.

    Post # 4
    11356 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    Honesty, this is why it is not a good idea to do business with friends or family members of friends. Sadly, I have friends who have done business with their friends or their friends’ family members, and it often has turned out badly and resulted in the loss of some of those relationships.

    Post # 5
    833 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    Your mom referred her to someone else… I don’t see the issue??  Would your mom have received any of the commission had your friend went with the referral?

    Post # 6
    1382 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    Hmm..your friend def shouldn’t have lied to you.  However, if she’s anything like some female friends I know (who are on the timid side), she might not have had the heart to tell your mom “no” and instead decided to act clueless/flaky…especially since she’s friends with you.

    I know for a fact that my very own best friend is capable of doing something like this.  I love her for her kind soul, but it’s also because of this quality that she’s completely incapable of saying “no” to anyone.  And instead, she’ll act all flaky.

    I know I’m not perfect myself, so I can overcome my bestie’s flaws – we just understand each other.  

    If you choose to confront your friend though, you can always just do it casually… (“Hey, so whatever happened when my mom showed you some houses?  She told me that she tried to follow up with you….”)  See what she says!

    Post # 8
    239 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    First off, there’s a chance she never got the messages – my Husband’s phone sometimes doesn’t get voicemail until a week later. Secondly, buying a home is a really big deal and there are a lot of factors that go into that sort of decision, so I wouldn’t take it personally that she went with someone else. Besides, sounds like she fell in love with a house and pounced! It is a bummer that she went with someone else, but I think you should just let it go. 

    Post # 11
    7738 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Perhaps your friend didn’t like the company your mother worked for, and/or didn’t think she was very competent? It’s easier to say, “I never heard from your mom” than “Your mom’s company is a bunch of amateurs who I found really hard to deal with”.

    I would let it go.

    Post # 12
    2523 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    @futuremrsk18:  I’m sorry she’s been that kind of friend to you lately. She doesn’t deserve to have a friend like you looking out for her if she’s going to take you for granted. Well, now that you have a better idea of what kind of friend she is, you can better guard yourself in the future. I’m sorry she rubbed you the wrong way. *hug*

    Post # 13
    2401 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    Yeah, sorry. It’s buying a house. It’s a big deal for your friend and she should go with a seller that makes her comfortable. If she was “passed on” to your mom’s coworker, she probably thought it was best to do it herself instead. I see no reason why you should be mad about it. I also dont see where she lied to you. 

    Post # 14
    9056 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2010

    @futuremrsk18:  My dads a real estats agent as well and I think a lot of time people really just don’t understand how the whole deal works. Like that your mom would have gotten money at no direct cost to her.  I can see how if she found a house she liked herself that she might think she was Saving herself paying a realtor when really she just ended up paying double commission to the selling agent and had no advocate for her own interests if she just called up the person on the sign out front. 

    Post # 15
    225 posts
    Helper bee

    I come from a family of real estate. Basically, I was raised on commissions LOL…my dad does commercial and my mom does residential. To sum up the industry SHIT HAPPENS. The most current drama going on in my mom’s life is that a great friend of hers decided to work with TWO agents- my mom being one of them and another agent who is also the lady’s long time friend..While it is upsetting, I am sure your mom is used to it and I wouldn’t let it get in the way of your friendship.

    Post # 16
    225 posts
    Helper bee

    Something else to consider…if your friend went with the listing agent as her broker= double commission for the listing agent (as a PP mentioned)…sometimes the listing agent will push harder for the potential buyer to get the house since double commission is involved…they aren’t supposed to but this is what happens.

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