(Closed) Would you be upset/annoyed?

posted 7 years ago in Married Life
Post # 3
Member
3564 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I would definitely be annoyed that a bachelor party trip took priority over a vacation for the two of us. You’re not crazy! 🙂

Post # 4
Member
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

Um…I would absolutely be annoyed! It’s ok to go for a fun weekend with your boys and make that a priority, but vacation with your wife isn’t a priority? Not cool at all!

Post # 5
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@PitBulLover: Not at all. Why is he telling you to hold off on purchases while he’s spending 4 days in Vegas? His wants trump yours? Sheesh, I’d be upset too!

Post # 6
Member
8738 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

@PitBulLover: I’d be annoyed too.

If your finances are combined, I’d have a chat when he got home about how it’s hard on your that you can’t do some of the things you want because he keeps going on vacation.

It’d be one thing if you were using your fun money budget to do things together, but you are feeling left behind while he has all the fun/spends all the money.

I’d also take this time while he’s away to go out and have fun with your girlfriends so you’re not cooped up at home and lonely.

Post # 7
Member
5106 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’m going to have to agree with you and PPs. I would be very FRUSTRATED.

 

Post # 8
Member
1556 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

No, you aren’t crazy.  I’d be annoyed too.  I get that he wants to be there for his friend like his friend was for him.  But his being there for his friend is affecting you, his wife.

To me, he’s acting like he is still a single guy.  You’ve not been married terribly long, so he may still be adjusting.  What he should have done is told you he was invited  and wanted to go and then you and he together discussed the financial situation and decided what your priorities were together and if the trip was financially feasiable.  He made that decision that affects you both by himself.   I don’t think he did so maliciously (not “I’m going to do what I want and too bad if you don’t like it), but this should have been a decision you made together, if money is an issue and his going impacted other goals the two of you have.

Post # 9
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

@PitBulLover: Nope not crazy. Plan a girls trip! Tell him you have to and use some of the same reasons:)

Post # 10
Member
13099 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I’d be annoyed too!

Like you – I have no problem with Darling Husband going to Vegas, taking weekends with the boys, etc.  But when those things take priority over vacations with you – there is a problem.  It’s also not right that he asks you to not spend money on things due to budgets but then he is okay with spending $1000 on himself in Vegas.  Sounds like a bit of a double standard to me.

Post # 11
Member
2788 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

No, I would be really annoyed about this also.  Honestly, I’d be annoyed he went to Vegas twice in 7 months – those are two major trips/vacations, without you in such a sort time! And….he is delaying your vaca together, ugh. 

So, you are going to have a spa day this weekend while he’s there right? 😉

Post # 13
Member
3012 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@PitBulLover: No way in hell are you crazy for being annoyed.  Compromise, compromise, compromise.  

ETA: I get upset with J when he goes and spends money on things that aren’t necessary. He’s on unemployment. I’m the one who’s busting my ass to save up for the wedding and that’s where all my pay check goes except for other bills.  He brings something up and I just stare at him like “seriously?”  No’ money, mo’ problems.  (Yes, I changed the Mo’ Money to No.)

Post # 13
Member
1359 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@PitBulLover: I would totally be annoyed. So he can put off your vaca and plan one for himself, but youuu can’t spend any money? No siree! I totally agree with @mwitter80 – plan a girls trip 😉

Post # 15
Member
363 posts
Helper bee

I think I would feel annoyed too.  However I can see how the trip (for this friend’s bachelor, who also came out for your husband’s bachelor party) could seem as a priority for him. He also probably assumes that you see it the same way as him.

Although I do totally understand where you are coming from, and as a woman in your situation, I would go through the same feelings and questioning, I really do think his intentions are good.  He wants to honor his friend (which for some men is very important) who was there for him during that important moment in his life.  

What I’m trying to say is that he’s putting the trip as one of the priorities of things to pay for right now, and in a way, I can understand his judgement of the situation.  

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