(Closed) Would you bother??? *Advice*

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
542 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

It is hard to give advice in this situation.. what I would do personally is still have the wedding on the original date unless a family member has died or many people will not be able to attend due to the disaster.

Some things to consider is have airline tickets already been purchased? Have many deposits been put down for the wedding? If there is a lot of money to be lost in delaying the wedding then this is a factor in deciding what to do.

Your mom is being a bit mean with her comments but this may be a result of stress with all what is going on, and you probably want to sit down with her and have the “I need your support” talk.

Post # 5
5883 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

So sorry @adw2c:, I know you’ve worked super hard to have a great wedding and stupid earthquake ruined it all. Right now you need to take a deep breath–in, out.

So let me get this straight, you have 2 options 1) wedding in your home town in June or 2) wedding in your home town in a year.

Seems to me that your biggest stress is your Mother and her lack of enthusiasm if not resistance. I kinda get the feeling that you Mom would still be a pain a year from now. I don’t think the addition of time will make her any less resitant. Learn to be okay with your Mom’s resitance. Mom’s are weird like that.

Now that you’ve accepted the fact that your family will probably be bitching whether you do it now or later, most of your stress should be gone. Now it’s time to do what you want. You want to have a pretty wedding ASAP, so go do what you want and make yourself happy (because that really is the only thing you can do in life).

Good Luck!

Post # 6
1737 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

@KoiKove: Now that you’ve accepted the fact that your family will probably be bitching whether you do it now or later, most of your stress should be gone.

Good point.  In the end you have to do what works for you.  You can never please everyone at the same time.  I’m sorry the planet threw a monkey wrench into things, it’s not really something you can plan ahead for.

I knew a couple that was planning a big black tie shindig this last fall, and it turned out the bride discovered she was 2 mos. pregnant (not the reason they were getting married, they just got started on the family sooner than they meant :P) and it wasn’t healty for her to carry the twins AND be on her feet – at all – her baby factory wasn’t quite right and she needed to be as careful as possible.  She had to take as much leave as she could from work to be on bed rest for the next 4 months until the babies arrived premature, but safely in January.  They lost her income for that time, they lost all their deposits on the venues, had the dress and everything else paid for, and tried to have a backyard wedding so the bride could be close to bed and they could still make an event of it, but her ability to safely carry the babies was so tenuous that the had a very small ceremony in their living room, with her on the couch, instead.

Not quite the magic dream wedding, but they are happy and it worked for them.

If you want to stick to your revised date, then do so.  You can only wait so long, and unless you want to make it a special renewal of vows on your anniversary of your legal marraige, then do it when you’d planned and don’t wait another year. 

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