(Closed) Would you break up with him?

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
4150 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I would never allow my FI/BF/Husband whatever to pressure me into cosmetic surgery.  If he wanted me to change, I would find a new guy!  Like Dr. Phil says, you teach people how to treat you.

Post # 4
Member
3788 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

First, I think Bob’s case is different and I actually feel bad for him that his wife said that. It doesn’t excuse him saying it to her, though.

But as for the initial caller — it honestly sounds like the way an abuser would use self esteem to manipulate his partner. A thoughtless comment is different from pressuring someone into serious cosmetic surgery and then continuing to insult her! I hope she can get away from him and get to feel good about herself again.

Post # 5
Member
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

My ex used to say things like that to me every once in a while. It does wonders to hurt a girl’s self esteem. I did end up breaking up with him and told my husband a few of the things he used to tell me. My husband reassured me that my ex was crazy and maybe just trying to beat me down.

So in the end, yes, I would break up with that person. There’s no reason for someone to be that blatantly rude to another person. And anyone who would pressure their significant other into getting cosmetic surgery doesn’t deserve her (or him)!

Post # 6
Member
2398 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I’m willing to bet Bob wasn’t too peachy before his accident either.

And I would absolutely break up with both men.  Life is waaaay too short to waste time on someone who doesn’t think he’s the luckiest man on the planet to have you.

Post # 7
Member
5496 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2010

@Ryansgirl: Totally agree!

I would never be around anybody who said those things, especially a close loved one. If a guy had ever said my nose or anything else isn’t attractive and recommended I get surgery, I’d recommend he go pound sand. Talk about a deal-breaker for me. My husband tells me all the time I’m beautiful (even when I think I look horrible like first thing in the morning or when I’m sick!!).

Post # 8
Member
5670 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I think those two need therapy! It sounds like an unhealthy relationship on both ends.

She insults him during a vulnerable time so in turn he starts to insult her, not my idea of a healthy relationship.

Post # 9
Member
1480 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

That’s disgusting. When you really love someone for everything they are, they become the most beautiful person to you regardless of how conventionally attractive other people would find them.

If Darling Husband ever told me I needed to change some part of me for him to be attracted to me, I’d laugh and tell him, “Don’t let me hold you back from dating a supermodel! There’s the door!”

But he tells me every day that I’m beautiful and gorgeous, and the prettiest girl he’s ever seen. 🙂

It seems that this kind of criticism about a woman’s appearance is a trademark of misogynist, abusive men. My friend’s abusive ex was totally hung up on her nose and used that to hurt her and make her feel like she wasn’t good enough, and like he was doing her a favor by dating her. Now her fiance wants to buy her a boob job for her wedding gift… don’t even get me started on how skeezy this guy is. Ugh.

Oh, and all the bees posting in this thread: http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/who-is-your-embarrassing-celebrity-crush/page/5 are proof that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Anyone who can’t see the person through their physical imperfections is imo, a sociopath.

 

 

Post # 10
Member
2321 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Yup. A breakup is in order. Irrespective of how pretty or ugly she is, the fact of the matter is he married her. So is he saying that he is not able to marry someone better looking than her? In a weird, twisted way, he is insulting himself more than he is insulting her. That’s 2 insults in 1. Two good reasons to LEAVE!

Post # 11
Member
3148 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

This is so awful!! I think Bob got in that motorcycle accident bc he is a huge ass, and this was gods way of making him look “ugly” so his wife could be an ass right back at him!!

 

Both women need to leave these “men”

Post # 12
Member
1480 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@Amaryllis: Yes!! Exactly, it’s so manipulative. It makes the women think, if the person who is supposed to love you more than anyone else doesn’t think you’re beautiful, then who will? Nobody.

It’s so cruel.

Post # 13
Member
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

wow… I would never put up with that. My Fiance teases me about my earlobes, and tells me I need surgery to fix them, but it’s our big joke… mean that earlobes are so insignificant in the grand scheme of a marriage that if that’s our worst problem, we’re doing alright.

Post # 14
Member
22 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2011

In a heartbeat I would break up with that person.  Poor girl!  She obviously wants to get out of the relationship if she’s calling in to a radio show but it sounds like she doesn’t have the guts at this point.  Like others have pointed out it sounds like an abusive relationship.  Sad 🙁

Post # 15
Member
22 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@bunnyfoofoo, yay for May 14th!  Coming up soon. 

Post # 16
Member
6394 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’ve lost friends before because they’ve said negative things about my appearance (basically, kept calling me fat and/or chubby when I was wearing a size 8 in jeans). So yeah, I would totally ditch the loser.

My life outlook is that your relationships should build you up. People don’t have to worship you, but they definitely shouldn’t be saying negative things to you about your appearance.

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