Post # 32
For me it would definitely depend on the closeness to the family member. If you’re concerned about whether its appropriate maybe ask the opinion of another family member, as they know your family better than we do.
Post # 33
@jessica8982: Absolutely! Nowadays its so common place and no one should be offended.
Post # 34
I wouldn’t bring a baby and would likely be annoyed if someone else were to. I don’t think young children in general, unless they were extremely close to the deceased, have a place at funerals.
Post # 35
@rachiecakes:My mom took me out to a big gathering at 11 days. I think different cultures have different norms. 🙂
@eurekaanchovies:It won’t be seen as attention grabby, but the details and customs and that–only you can decide if it is right for you.
If it was my family and my newborn, I would go.
I am so sorry for your loss.
Post # 36
I don’t think I would take the baby to the actual funeral service but to be honest, it would be a nice distraction from the sadness of the event to have the baby at the wake. It is a good reminder of the circle of life and how there are still things to rejoice in life even in the midst of sadness.
When my grandmother passed away, our baby cousins came to the wake. I think holding those babies was the only time that I was able to smile for weeks after she passed.
It totally depends on your family though. While the children were more than welcomed at services held by my family, it seems a lot of people on the board disagree with me. It’s a very personal thing so you need to do what you think is best for your family during the difficult time.
Post # 37
i think 10-11 days old is way too young to bring into a large gathering like a funeral. Too many germs and too many people breathing touching and kissing all over her. I would just leave her with the hubby and go alone.
Post # 38
Despends on you and what you choose to do. I however, probably wouldn’t bring my newborn baby out that early. With sneezing, coughing, touchy feely people. I would want to keep her in the house safe with me for a couple more weeks. She is Brand Spanking New… I wouldn’t expose my little one unless I had to.
Plus, people will want to see her, touch her, hold her, feed her a bottle, give her the pacifier, give you baby advice, try and change her diaper,…yada, yada… so see if you are prepared for this before you take her. Think of seating and how you can get access out of teh funeral just in case she gets a little fussy or you get an unsuspected poo diaper.
On another note, enjoy our new bundle of joy!
Post # 39
Thanks again for your wonderful responses! I really appreciate everyone’s thoughts.
We’re leaning very heavily toward not going at all. In part because of her youth and vulnerability and the “jam-packedness” of a funeral home, and in part because were I to go alone, I would be driving 45 minutes each way, so I would literally have time to show my face and turn around to come home for her next nursing session. I’ll eventually pump and my husband will give her bottles, but at 10 days, we’re not there yet.
It’s too bad, because I do think that a newborn can bring meaning to a loss like this. The people who would enjoy her presence the most are those people who I feel closest to (aunt, uncle, cousins), and there’s no question we’ll be seeing them in the month to come in a more private setting.
Many thanks again.
Post # 40
When my nephew passed away in December my niece was only 6 days old at the funeral. It was in the middle of flu season and yes, there were a lot of people. I will say that my niece being there really uplifted some people’s spirits while at the services. She didn’t get sick and slept through both the viewing and funeral. It’s really a personal preference though. If it hadn’t been such a close loss to my sister I don’t think she would have brought her, but it was important to her that my niece be there. Also, there would have been no one to watch her at home because we were all at the services.
Post # 41
My grandmother just passed a few months ago. My cousin brought her baby, and he was a welcome “distraction” I guess you could say. He was a couple of months however. My other cousin also brought her baby. Probably 10months. And he was horrible. He was crying and carrying on and she never took him out of the service. I don’t mind babies there at all as long as they’re the “seen and not heard” kind at that kind of a function.