(Closed) Would you change vows in this situation?

posted 8 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 3
Member
6597 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

Why don’t you show him what you have created and find out what he thinks. See if you can compromise.

Post # 4
Member
1776 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

I would definitely work together on this.  You should talk to him and maybe come up with a mix between the traditional and nontraditional together.

Post # 5
Member
806 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Maybe you could go traditional for the actual exchange of vows part (in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer etc etc) but be more creative with the rest?

Post # 6
Member
2186 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

My father is a baptist minister and i have witnessed more weddings than i can count. while being origninal and creative is something that alot of brides shoot for, i cant help but agree with your FH in that theres something powerful about those traditional vows that people have said for years before you. it gives extra weight for me to the gravity of the vows itself.

so i am somewhat biased, i would suggest doing what prettyflowers suggested, in having the vows themselves traditional and add in extra personal touches for the rest….

Post # 7
Hostess
18644 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I would show him and maybe you can do the traditional vows with a few changes.  We did completely non traditional vows.

Post # 8
Member
2144 posts
Buzzing bee

Are you against the traditional vows? I wasn’t really, but I still wanted to do something different, but, to be perfectly honest, whenever I quote our vows, I don’t really actually quote OUR vows, I go to the traditional one. I do absolutely LOVE ours, but they just don’t come off the top of my head as easily. Definitely talk to Fiance

Post # 9
Member
809 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I like the idea of a bit of compromise. Perhaps some non-traditional readings but the traditional vows. Or show him what you have and work together on finding something that is personal and meaningful for both of you.

Post # 10
Member
548 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I would suggest checking out the different Christian (and non-Christian, maybe?) denominations’ books of worship for all different takes on the “traditional” vows – we were looking for fairly traditional vows, but when I went to my seminary’s library, I found that the vows in the different books all sound traditional, and there are similarities, but the exact vows vary quite a bit. If you look at the words used in Catholic, Episcopalian, Presbyterian, Lutheran, Methodist, UCC, etc., you may find a set of traditional vows that you like, or you may be able to combine 2 or more to get the set of traditional-sounding vows that work well for you.

I do feel that there’s power in traditional vows, and those old words that seemed kind of cliche take on new meaning over the course of married life. I cut my thumb cooking yesterday, and ended up in the ER – I’d never really thought much about “in sickness and in health” until WG sat with me for about a million years, waiting for stitches and xrays and whatnot – but now I’m glad we said it!

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