(Closed) Would you change your date?

posted 13 years ago in October 2009
Post # 3
47 posts

i say keep the date. you can’t accomodate everyone, and in the end, it’s YOUR wedding, not theirs.

Post # 4
91 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

I had a whole post written out about how it’s your date, blah blah blah.. and then I re-read your post and saw that the aunt’s wedding is the day AFTER yours!!!!!!  I read it the first time as being on the same day, which could be an issue.  NOW, I really don’t see a problem with keeping your date.  If it’s in the same geographic region, then I don’t think she’ll have a problem making both.  I really don’t think you need to change the date as they aren’t even on the same day.  Keep your day, it’s the one you want!

Post # 5
1 posts

i agree with keeping the date. 

in fact, if your MOH-to-be is still living out of town at the time, it would be a lot easier for her to make one long-weekend trip out to your area to participate in both weddings, rather than make two separate trips.

the date you and Fiance chose is special to you, so i think unless you find more reasons to believe that 10.09.09 isn’t a PERFECT date for you, stick with it! 🙂

Post # 6
142 posts
Blushing bee

So… if you didn’t change your date, would your friend still be able to come?  If she can and is willing to come, I see no problem.  It’s up to her to choose, right?  You’re not ‘taking’ her away from anything.

If she doesn’t want to miss her aunt’s festivites, then I suppose it’s a matter of how much you want her there- friend vs. keeping your date.

 Hope that helps some =)

Post # 7
1485 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I would figure out – hopefully with your friend as part of the conversation – what you are going to want as far as support from her, and what she expects to need to do for her aunt.  Typically the role of Maid/Matron of Honor is a lot more involved than personal attendant, which might just be a position given to her to make her feel included somehow, and would typically involve mostly a few duties on the day of the wedding.  Or maybe her aunt is having no actual BMs, in which case the job of personal attendant might be more involved?

At any rate, I would probably not change your date.  As pointed out, travel is expensive, and you’re probably saving your friend big bucks if you can minimize the number of trips she needs to make.  But…  you might want to have her as just a Bridesmaid or Best Man rather than Maid/Matron of Honor, or you might want to adjust your idea of what your Maid/Matron of Honor will do for you – sliding some of the traditional duties to the BMs – to accomodate anything your friend may be doing for her aunt and to keep from overloading her.  If you communicate pretty well about expectations (throughout the planning process) it should work out just fine.

Post # 9
34 posts

I say leave it be.  It will keep her travel expenses down, with one fewer trip to worry about.

I’m getting married on a Sunday, and my cousin is the night before.  It’s a bit unfortunate, but out of town family will already be here, so it’s one less trip for them.  We didn’t do this on purpose, but by the time we had put down a deposit, they had already put down theirs, and now we’re sharing a weekend.

Post # 10
222 posts
Helper bee
  • V
  • 13 years ago

I would NOT change it.

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