(Closed) Would you change your entire diet for your SO?

posted 10 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: How would you handle this?

    Go to a gluten free diet

    Don't change your diet at all and let him do all the extra work being gluten free

    Keep looking for gluten free recipes, buying him gluten free options, but still eat gluten at home

    Something else which I will explain below

  • Post # 30
    3048 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: January 1991

    Since he is gung ho about eating gluten free… I think he has more than enough motivation to do it on his own. If you don’t like the diet, then I would just eat what you normally would eat. I think some of the responsibility needs to be on him as well. I mean, he can shop and/or make his own gluten free parts of the meal. Even if he is completely allergic, I would still eat what I want and I would accomodate his taste.

    My fiance doesn’t eat fruit. It makes him sick. And he gets mad at me when I drink fruit juice, etc because it “smells bad” and he doesn’t want to kiss me. Oh well, I’m still eating fruit ๐Ÿ™‚ And he is extremely picky about food. I just can’t accomodate all that craziness. He can eat a hot pocket for all I care ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 31
    1361 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    As it’s not a true allergy, I agree that you should feel free to eat whatever you want.  It’s just a bonus for him if you attempt to follow his diet. 

    Try doing a search for freshly-made gluten free products.  I used to work in a bakery and a coffee shop, both of which made gluten-free products, both of which tasted quite yummy :). 

    Post # 32
    1289 posts
    Bumble bee

    Agree with PP, he is being very unreasonable. Even if he really is allergic, he can’t just demand you change your diet or make you feel guilty for eating what you enjoy. Are you making him feel guilty about his OPTIONAL diet change? No. So why would he do that to you?

    Post # 33
    1325 posts
    Bumble bee

    Ok, here it goes.

    First off. It is totally possible that he is sensitive is gluten. Quite a few people I know who are not diagnosed as gluten sensitive or having celiac or any intestinal disorders at all say they feel better not eating gluten. My mother for example. She has no diagnosed intestinal disorders, but has a sensitive stomach in general. She recently cut out wheat, not even gluten in it’s entirety, and she feels a ton better. I personally think that gluten is a gut irritant and should be viewed as such. Whether or not you body can handle that irritation is dependent on your health etc. I have Crohn’s (which was recently discovered to share a common defective gene with celiac) and I am trying to be gluten free myself.

    That being said, he is being a jackass. It sounds like he is being very whiny. 

    “Waaaaahhhh the smell of the gluten is killlllllling meeeeeeee.”

    I admit that the smell of bread has made me nauseated before, my stomach gets upset a lot from a lot of different things. 

    You being supportive does not necessarily mean changing how you eat. He is a grown man and if he seriously needs to not eat gluten, then he can not eat gluten.

    Also, MANY restaurants are starting to cater to gluten free eating. I’m pretty sure the Macaroni Grill near me has some gluten free menu items. Not pasta, but it’s possible to eat there. Just saying that the pasta place near me has gluten free food.

    Sorry for the slightly long rant, but your SO’s attitude kind of pisses me off because I think it undermines people who have conditions like Celiac’s disease. You know… people who could actually die from eating gluten.

    Post # 34
    193 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: December 2010 - University of Toronto Faculty Club

    I definitely agree with the other posters who have said he shouldn’t be imposing his diet on you. My father eats a gluten free diet and my mother doesn’t and they’re perfectly happy with that. My father would also never veto a favourite restaurant of theirs. He just figures out a gluten free option, which usually isn’t too difficult these days, especially if celiac disease isn’t involved.

    It sounds like you’re really going out of your way to be supportive, but he’s not doing the same for you and that’s not okay.

    Post # 35
    1484 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    compromising onbothsides sounds best to me

    Post # 36
    1747 posts
    Bumble bee

    @guitargirl:I would put forth a good effort if you can find things to cook that you both enjoy. But if you hate it…well you hate it. My SO is a healthy guy and likes to cook his own food and workout 5 days a week. Before I met him I did not know what a gym looked like, I am naturally thin. However, I like to eat and have picked up a few pouns and he loves it when I run with him or lift weights. I eat better with him too but sometimes he eats Cheetos with me:0)

    Post # 37
    198 posts
    Blushing bee

    Don’t change your diet.  You have been more than accomodating and he is just being difficult now.

    My sister is gluten-free (due to severely inflamed intestines as found in several endoscopies- a gluten-free diet has dramatically reduced her problems) and she has no problems using the same cookware as long as it has been washed.  Of course, you have to watch for cross-contamination during food prep, but your guy is just being dramatic.  Gluten doesn’t cause nausea from smell- it causes inflammation and irritation.

    Even if he did require a gluten-free diet on doctor’s orders, it is selfish of him to expect you to be completely gluten-free as well.  We try not to stuff our faces with bread in front of my sister and we don’t go to restaurants that can’t accomodate her needs, but she understands that we are not on gluten-free diets and she respects that as well.

    Post # 38
    115 posts
    Blushing bee

    I think that’s a strange situation. How does smelling gluten make him nauseous? Is it psychological or real? If the former, than I think its ridiculous and I’d tell him to get over himself. I know nothing about being allergic or having reactions to gluten though. I guess if he was allergic I’d change my answer but otherwise, no, you are not unreasonable. 

    For me, I pretty much changed my diet and the way I eat for SO. He follows certain Kosher rules. But it sounds like your SO is exaggerating with “I feel nauseous around gluten.” 

    Post # 39
    634 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    Your SO is taking this to the extreme. I have numerous friends who don’t eat gluten- some because they’re celiac and other because eating Girlfriend makes them feel better. NONE of them carry on about the smell of gluten making them sick, even the celiac ones.

    Also, it is quite normal to feel better after eating Girlfriend as most things containing gluten are processed and humans weren’t origionally created to eat those things. Most people do feel less bloated and ‘healthier’ when they eat Girlfriend usually because they’re eating cleaner.

    My Fiance is lactose intolerant and I still buy and eat things with lactose in them and he never complains to me or our friend about it. We do buy some separate foods, but sometimes I will just eat his lactose free things. Dietary problems are a non issue in our house.

    Post # 40
    2116 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    there is NO reason for you to go gluten free,.. i don’t want to be a jerk but it sounds like your SO is kind of a fanatic, don’t let his obsessiveness get in the way of you eating what you want… if he had an allergy, it would be a different story

    Post # 41
    1227 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    If it were me, I’d totally have to test this out. Like, I’d try cooking something in a pot that he *thinks* has gluten in it, but it actually doesn’t – like maybe that corn pasta that a PP posted about. Then I’d see if he complains about the “smell of gluten”; if so, that might be a good clue that it’s really kind of just in his head. Or, if you want to be more straightforward about it, you could cook something with gluten in one pot, and then ask him to smell three pots and tell you which one had an item with gluten cooked in it. ๐Ÿ™‚

    Okay, okay, maybe I wouldn’t *really* do this. But I’d be tempted. It sounds to me like your Fiance is being kind of a hypochondriac about this. As long as you are making a solid effort to find gluten-free things you can both enjoy, and you are thoroughly washing your own dishes after you use them to cook/eat items with gluten on them, that seems like enough to me.

    Post # 42
    703 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    If he truly had Celiac’s Disease I would switch my diet as well.  If he’s just decided that this is what he’s going to do because he wants to, I’d probably wish him good luck and keep eating the way I want.  Or tell him I’ll eat gluten free if he’s cooking it.  Whether he has Celiac’s Disease or not, having two types of cookware is COMPLETELY unnecessary.   

    Post # 43
    1636 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

     I have celiac and I cook gluten free for me and regular for my Fiance just bc I have a certain restriction I dont make him eat it and neither should your Fiance

    Post # 44
    132 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I went through something similar to this.  My Fiance has been fully vegetarian for almost 15 years due to religious reasons.  I, on the other hand, LOVE steak! (and bacon, and salmon, and…oh the list goes on).

    When we first started dating, he was VERY militant about it all.  ie: I couldn’t mooch off his plate if my fork had the scent of meat on it, etc. but when we decided to get married, I was like ‘Ok buddy, we need to figure this out.’  He wanted second sets of pots and pans, no meat doggie bags in the fridge, etc. and I just couldn’t deal with that.  I make every accomodation possible for him and have cut my meat consumption down considerably and he appreciates it.

    We did find compromise eventually (before the rock was on my finger btw) and things have calmed down significantly.  We said no meat cooking in the house but our kids will have the option of eating meat. Yes, I will admit that sometimes I wish he wasn’t veggie because it would make travelling so much easier (nothing’s worse than being starving and having to go from place to place trying to find something veggie for him…hard when you’re travelling in meat Mecca’s like…Bavaria). 

    That being said, your dude sounds like a drama king.  I agree with the ‘smell of gluten’ comments.  wtf?  That’s crazy.  Also, can I just say that Gluten Free seems to be the new black?  I work in a GI clinic and I would say that roughly 85% of our suspected gluten intolerance patients are under the age of 35 and dress like hipsters.  Not saying that it doesn’t exist but c’mon, it does seem to be really trendy right now! 

    Also, speaking as someone that manages a GI clinic, I think your man should see a specialist.  There are really specific tests out there than can tell you definitively if he is gluten intolerant or not.  I’d be happy to send you some links! ๐Ÿ™‚

    Best of luck.  Diet is one of the hardest things to negotiate simply because we have to eat and eating is social.  For most of us, cooking together is such a pleasure!  It sucks if it’s a source of constant tension. 

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