Post # 1
So my SO and I’ve been talking about getting engaged when he’s visiting me in July (we’re in a long-distance relationship). He insisted on choosing the ring together when he’s here because he wants me to get the ring that I like. I was quite excited and started looking for rings online and finally came up with a few styles that I like. Last week I went to the jewellery store and tried some on to see if they looked good on my finger and I really like this micropave halo I tried on. So, I showed him the picture of the ring and he said that the ring wasn’t so practical to wear everday as small stones will fall off sooner or later. He even said that it looked ugly! But he also said that he’ll buy me this ring anyway if I really want it but now I feel bad about getting the ring that he hates. I really like the style of this ring and it looks perfect on my finger! What should I do?
I also have another question : I already feel bad about choosing the ring myself but what do you feel about going to the jewellery store and have your ring made all by yourself? I told my SO about wanting to get my ring made and choose the stone with GIA cert., but the whole process will take about 2 weeks, so he told me to have it done and he’ll come here to pay for the ring. Is it too much? He wants to get the ring as soon as possible because we’ll be spending time on vacation together and I think he might want to propose there. I’m excited about getting engaged, but part of me feels like I’m proposing to myself! What do you think, bees?
Post # 3
I see nothing wrong with choosing a ring. It is something you will wear for the rest of your life. When DH and I were looking at rings I gave him 3 of my favorites and then he chose. He also chose a new stone. You could do that so you feel like he’s putting something into it.
Post # 4
I picked the setting since he has no taste in jewelry and I’m fussy lol so he picked out the stone 🙂
Post # 5
I don’t know if I’d get a ring that he specifically said is ugly, but he also might change his opinion once he sees it on your finger. My husband’s mother gave me his grandmother’s diamonds on the day we got engaged to use as a ring. My husband and I were also long distance and after the engagement he flew back to New York and I went to a jeweler in Miami (I brought my mom) and we designed my ring. I’d talked with him about styles and different things but he honestly had no idea. He didn’t see the ring until after it was made and not until I came to see him for Thanksgiving (in person at least). He had absolutely no problem with it and loves how much I love it.
Post # 6
Unless it were really the only ring I could find that I loved or it was absolutely ‘the one’ I couldnt live without, I’d try to keep looking to see if there was something we both loved and would be proud to show off.
Post # 7
I would try to come to some sort of middle ground and pick something we both liked, but if he despised the only kind of ring I like and vice versa, I would pull the “I’m the one wearing it” card.
Post # 8
My FI’s opinion mattered to me. He said I could get what I wanted, even if he didn’t like it. I didn’t want to wear anything he hated, so we found something we both loved. Ultimately, you are the one wearing it for the rest of your life. If he hates, I would at least try looking at others first.
Post # 9
We chose mine together, there were rings I liked that he didn’t, and some that he liked that I didn’t. We looked until we found one that we both liked.
That being said, you will be the one wearing it, so I would ultimately make sure you love what you pick.
Post # 10
DH wasn’t crazy about what I picked out. But, in the end, he had enough say in it, that I think we came to a pretty good compromise. Basically, I picked the setting, he picked the stones (I was okay with diamond, blue sapphire, and/or white sapphire).
Post # 11
I guess I’m a traditionalist. My Fiance picked my ring on his own. I had no idea what I was getting!
We had gone to a few places where I tried rings on, and I actually had tried this ring on, but he didn’t let on at all… And I tried on dozens so he could see how they’d look. My only input was “I like solitaires” and “I don’t want a stone large than xx.”
I really was of the opinion “The engagement ring is a gift from the groom and a symbol of his desire marry me- he should pick the ring.” But I’m one of those lucky gals, I like the jewelry Fiance buys me and I get complements on it… I had no worries about not liking what he picked.
I’m not sure that I would ask my future husband to propose with a ring that I picked, knowing he didn’t care for it… But that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t say “hey honey will you look at it in person and see what you think then?” – after all it must be a gorgeous ring if you’ve got your eye on it, so maybe he just needs to see it on your hand, asthou said.
Good luck, and hooray for this exciting time for you! 🙂
Post # 12
i would want him to love it as much as i do and to want to show it off.
my husband often looks at my rings and tells me how beautiful they are on my hand. he is proud of what he got for me and i love seeing that pride and happiness on his face.
Post # 13
@fuzzybunny: This is a tough one for me. As much as I love the fact that I picked my ring and was able to get exactly what I want I really wish my husband had more involvement in choosing. However I know what he likes and dislikes so I was able to chose a balance between my likes and his. I think we are both happy with the outcome. It would bother me if he 100% hated it. And in the end if you’re happy I’m sure he will be as well.
Post # 14
I picked out three rings. He knows ZERO about jewelry other than I (such a dude…I love it). I told him what I like about each. He tried to show interest other than what the prices were, bless him. BUT our tastes are similar. I picked out 2 solitaires and one with a pave band. I think if I was to pull up a big glitzy three stone halo (though lovely but not my style), he wouldn’t be into it, but he knows me well enough to be like “oh.. really? not what I’d expect…” To answer the question (haha!) I’d say no, I wouldn’t want one that he hates.
Post # 15
Thanks everyone! At first I was quite sure I would go for this style, since I’m going to be the one wearing it, and I’m a kind of person that always know what I want. But now I’m definitely going to wait for him to choose the ring with me to find the one that we both will like. I’m a bit worry though because he has such different tastes than mine 😛 Let’s hope that once he sees this ring on my finger he’ll like it too 🙂
Post # 16
I would definitely try to find something you both like. DH isn’t the type of guy to get super excited about jewelry, but he really liked my set from the moment we saw it. We saw things that I liked that he didn’t while we were looking (namely yellow gold), but I wanted him to like it too. I’m glad I waited because I like this set so much more than any of the sets I liked and he didn’t.