Post # 1
- Wedding: May 2016 - Sussex, UK
This is a lighthearted post and no judgement.
We just found out D.H’s auntie is pregnant again with her 10th child. Their other kids range from 20 to 7 months old. She’s 42, uncle is 54. After the last two babies she said that’s definitely it but we can all see them trying for another. She’s a brilliant mum and the kids haven’t gone without because D.H’s uncle works very long hours to provide for them.. One of the children has quite severe brain damage sustained during birth so there’s an extra element of care that they provide.
We are TTC and only ever wanted one child. I see my friends with babies and toddlers and think it’s such hard work I just can’t fathom going through that many pregnancies, births and sleepless nights.
If money/ time/ fertility issues were not an issue would you want a very large family?
Post # 2
All power to those that can, but I am very definitely one and done!
Post # 3
Absolutely not. Birth control is one of the greatest inventions the world has ever seen, imo- freeing women from decades of back to back child birthing and rearing (unless by choice). I have a really big family and I do love having lots of cousins and extended family. But I’m firm about only wanting 2.
My husband would love to have 5 kids. I told him if it’s that serious, I wish him well with his new wife because I’ll be bowing out!
Post # 4
I have three children and contemplated a fourth but am now 98% sure that we are done. I’ve been either pregnant or bf’ing (or both!) since January 2012 and I’m just ready to get myself back and start looking forward.
I’ve done every night feed, 90% of the bedtimes and none of my babies have ever had formula or taken bottles so it’s been a reasonably intensive 7.5 years! And I stay at home so the majority of the household management and emotional regulation falls to me and I’m the kind of tired that a bit of extra sleep doesn’t fix.
if I was younger (I’m almost 37) and we had more money then I would seriously consider having more children but I’m not and we don’t so we won’t 😊
I think it takes a special kind of person to Mother a large family and that’s just not me right now.
Post # 5
- Wedding: April 2017 - City, State
I don’t have kids yet but I would never entertain having children in such high numbers. Others can totally handle it, but I absolutely know that I cannot. Our current plan is “have one and see how that goes” before we’d even think about having another.
Post # 6
Absolutely not. I don’t have kids yet but my husband and I agree 2 is our absolute max, maybe just one and done. Having a huge family has never appealed to me.
Post # 7
Yes. My hope is to have 4-5 children. (But first we have to survive newborn stage of #1! 😆) I would be open to more, but on my husband’s salary I’m not sure we could provide adequately for more than that. (“Adequate” being more than “bare bones” but less than “alllll the things”)
Post # 8
I have 3 kids which I don’t think is a high number. But honestly, I think once you reach a certain point- 5 or 6- then one more doesn’t matter. I know some people with 7 and 8 kids and they operate like a machine.
Post # 9
No. The single best thing you can do to reduce your environmental impact is to have fewer children. Our generation is living through a climate emergency and I would never consider deliberately having more than two biological children. If we decided we wanted a larger family than two children, I would foster or adopt. I know this isn’t a lighthearted answer, but I don’t think family planning is a decision to be made lightly.
Post # 10
EllyAnne : no. If I want more than 2, I will look into adopting. My personal view is that there are too many children out here without families, so I don’t want to keep having a ton of kids biologically when, if I want more, I can adopt more AND give an already-existing child a great life.
I’m also assuming that if I could afford to biologically raise 3+ kids, I should have the money it takes to adopt.
Post # 11
- Wedding: May 2016 - Sussex, UK
glitterati : I do think of this when I get the frankly bizarre “isn’t it selfish not to have kids?” comment as people don’t know we have fertility issues.
happiekrappie : Adopting in the UK is very different to the US. I have wondered why they don’t foster but it seems like she craves having a newborn.
Post # 12
Apart from the money issue, I would think it would be hard to give ten children the love and attention they deserve. So no, if I have kids well stop at 2.
Post # 13
- Wedding: June 2019 - City, State
EllyAnne : Definitely! I see children as a blessing.
Post # 14
EllyAnne : if money and time weren’t an issue I’d have liked to have a max of 4 kids. I had an easy pregnancy and birth so that part wouldn’t bother me. It would be nice for my daughter to have more family since ours is so small but in order to afford more kids we’d have to move which would take us away from family so that’s silly.
Also when I’m pregnant and nursing my crippling periods are gone/lessened so that’s a huge plus lol.
Post # 15
If I’d gotten started young and money wasn’t an issue, I’d love to have 4. I’m 1 of 3, and always very much wished that I’d had one more sibling.
As it is, Fiance and I are already 30 and 40 and haven’t even started, and considering that I have no desire to have kids back-to-back-to-back, 2 may very well be it…maybe 3. I think bigger families are lovely, but you really do reach a point where you can’t possibly hope to give each kid the individual attention they deserve.