Post # 1
Just curious what you guys would do. I’m also hoping I haven’t become overly confrontational. Because the following scenario happened to us and I’d like my husband to address it but he doesn’t want to. Allow me to explain:
Ok, so we had an amazing wedding (aside from a few stupid things but we’ll ignore that stuff). And in the venue is a really cute, quaint pub/restaurant. They usually close by the time our reception was over but because so many people wanted to continue partying, they remained open just for us. So we were all hanging out there, having a good time. Our banquet manager stopped down to hang out even. Anyway, we all decide to call it a night. As we’re leaving the bartender comes up to us and says that someone has stolen a bottle of wine. Wth? Why would you do that? You just had an open bar for 5 hours! We apologize and hand her $40 to make up for the lose (she later got fired for taking the money-oops!).
After the honeymoon my husband’s friend, we’ll name him C, called us and said it was their mutual friend, his name will be T, who stole it. I thought it was strange that he felt the need to ‘fess up’ randomly about it, but whatev. Ha, later we find out that another friend saw what happened. The friend that saw it is a great guy, an honeset guy. He just never brought it up to us because he didn’t know it turned into a big deal, until he found out that we paid for it. Turns out, that C, the one who called us and said it was T, was in on it too. T grabbed the wine and C walked out with it (how ghetto is that).
That’s the jist of it. So now, when I find this out I’m pissed. I know its just a bottle of wine but this place treated us so well, and this makes us look horrible! So I tell my husband he has to talk to them. He’s totally not as pissed… huh? Why wouldn’t you be? Your friends just showed a complete lack of respect. And C totally lied to you, get angry dummy! But he’s a passive guy, a sweet guy… but come on! I think my husband should call them, it doesn’t have to be in a confrontational way. But they owe us an apology and $40. Right? Or am I just crazy?
Post # 3
I wouldn’t try to make a point of it, but if this is someone you see fairly often I would 100% mention that not only did you have to shell out $40.00 fo his stupidity but someone also lost there job b/c of it! I would find it very difficult NOT to say something.
Post # 4
I probably wouldn’t. Just because there’s nothing anyone can do about it now so there’s no need for an awkward conversation. I would sum it up to everyone having a little too much to drink at an awesome party and things getting slightly out of hand. Could have been much worse!
As Darling Husband and I were leaving our after party (which was paid for by us), the security guy asked if we wanted to end it early since so many people ‘didn’t need another hour of drinking’. There were a lot of drunkies at our after party! We weren’t concerned b/c no one was driving home and it’s a wedding for gosh sakes! If you can’t get obliterated at a wedding after party at 1:30am, when can you?? So the venue may look down a little at us for that, but I was more concerned with everyone having a good time and remembering my wedding as a little crazy/awesome instead of somethign they were reprimanded for.
Post # 5
I would think I *should* speak to them… but I prob wouldn’t but ugh… the drama.
Post # 6
Your not crazy..I would be pissed you just spent money on a all you could drink bar and that wasnt enough for them… Im sorry that a friend did that to yall. I just wonder why the one guy threw the other guy under the bus when he was part of it too???
Post # 7
I think they definitely owe you $40 at the least. And the fact that the bartender lost her job?! That’s awful.
Post # 8
Honestly, I’d just let that go. Sucks that they did it. But people do stupid things while drinking.
In the grand scheme of things, to me $40 bucks isn’t worth getting that upset over. The place treated you well but it was the bartender who let you know about the theft and then pocketed the money (!) so I wouldn’t worry too much about it.
ETA – oh wait…did I mis-read this? Did the bartender pocket the money and that’s why she was fired? Or they fired her for confronting you and demanding the bottle be paid for? If so, that sucks. And that would be the thing I would confront them on. Just to let them know that their stupidity cost someone her job. But I still wouldn’t demand $40 bucks from them.
Post # 9
I think I agree with Moderndaisy…I would just chalk it up to everyone having too much to drink and acting stupid. I don’t think I would say anything. There isn’t a whole lot anyone can do about it now.
Post # 10
I don’t know that I would say anything to the friend(s) who stole the wine b/c they may have been drunk and doing what drunk people sometimes do…act stupid. However, I would send a nice note to the venue thanking them for doing such a great job and being so accomodating and apologizing for the theft. I mean…it was beyond your control but I am sure the venue would still appreciate the gesture.
Post # 11
Hmmm, differing opinions! I just really want them to give us the $40. Especially because one of the friends, T, didn’t give us anything. Not even a card. Soooo, we paid for your plate and your bottle of wine? Wtf. My Mom is also pissed because they had the nerve to do this while my Mom and my husband’s Mom were in the pub. As if they were thinking clearly enough to be more respectful since moms were in the room. She’s funny.
The bartender losing her job made me feel awful! I asked the manager to change her mind! But she said she had no right to accept the money. That the bottle of wine wasn’t a big deal to the establishment. And she never reported the extra money. No bueno.
Post # 12
I thinkthis is what you should say:
“Hey C and T, we know what happened with the wine. The wedding staff treated us really well, and it made us look bad that someone stole. We ended up just paying for the bottle, but it was a negative and annoying blotch on an otherwise great day. Honestly, I’m not going to make a federal case out of it, we were all partying and having a good time. But I am going to give you an opportunity to apologize. I hope you will do so, so we can just forget about this.”
Post # 13
Well the bartender got fired off her own stupidty so I can’t really feel bad about her being fired…
I would WANT to say something but I would probably just end up letting it go. Stealing is not cool or okay but it doesnt sound like either one will care or pay up.
Post # 14
I cant believe the bartender lost her job! How horrible!
Im kinda on the fence if you should say somthing or not.
Post # 15
@monitajb- that’s a great way of putting it. Just so we can move past it. Its not like I want them to beg for forgiveness. Its just a matter of principle. Yes, we all know drunk people do dumb things, we’ve all probably done really dumb things while drinking. But we should also cop to it. An apology and DONE.
Post # 16
I wouldn’t go out of my way to say something about it, but if I saw them again i would certainly let them know that their theft cost $40 and someones job. Whether or not they actually feel bad, they should know the consequences of their actions and perhaps think twice before doing it again.