(Closed) Would you consider an upgrade and how would you bring this up?

posted 9 years ago in Rings
  • poll: Would you ever upgrade your stone/setting or both?

    Yes, I plan to do so at some point in the future

    No, I would never want to change my original ring

    Depends (elaborate below pls)

  • Post # 47
    Member
    738 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    @heathuhhhhwebbbb:  Both are so pretty!  You’ve got a good eye because I cannot tell, on quick glance, the size difference of the centers.  Either way, congrats!  Feels nice to stop, no matter what crazy messed up day at work or school, and look down and swoon at that star on your finger, right?!

    Post # 48
    Member
    1877 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: October 2018

    @sweetpotata:  Thank you!  The first center stone really was cloudy.  You could tell in person under certain lighting (especially in that amazing lighting in the jewlery stores we all love).  Now I can walk around in the dark and it still sparkles.  LOL!  I love it.  Eventually, my Fiance wants to get me an even larger diamond (he said 2 carats).  I’m totally okay with it.  He likes spoiling me, and I don’t mind it.  🙂

    I almost upgraded to a 1.75 center stone, but it was very badly included to the naked eye, which is what I didn’t want.  So I sacrificed 1 C for the other 3.  😛

    Post # 49
    Member
    2831 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I never would.  But, I made it clear to my husband that I would wear my engagement ring forever and he took me seriously.  We both picked out the diamond and designed the setting.  Even if we could afford a bigger diamond, and I’m sure someday we could, it won’t be the one he proposed with.  I’m absolutely in love with my ring.  It’s perfect (literally – it’s IF), and it’s exactly what I’ve always wanted.  I could add another wedding band, but not get rid of the one I have, either. 

    I think a lot of my sentiment is wrapped up in the fact that I waited a long time for this.  We dated 6 years before we married, a lot due to the fact that he insisted on buying me a nice ring and having enough money for our honeymoon when he proposed (I paid for the wedding, which actually cost less than either the ring or the honeymoon).  I joked with him that the longer he waited the bigger and better it had to be but he wasn’t messing around.  It’s “only” about a carat, but that’s exactly what I wanted. 

    Post # 50
    Member
    59 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    @rosworms:  Indeed.

     

    To clarify the story, when we decided to get engaged, I was going through a serious rough patch, and wasn’t able to buy the ring.

    I suggested waiting to buy it until I could produce something I felt was adequate; she nixed that idea and said she would buy the ring.

    *Shrug* ok.

    I have since turned that rough patch around, obviously, and am doing much better, but since she picked the ring, and paid for it, it’s not like I have a whole lot of emotional attachment. It’s a rock.

    I love her; I like the way the rock sparkles.

    If she wants more sparkly things later on, well, I don’t have any problem with that.

    But I’m weird.

    And our situation is very different from OP’s.

    @OP: dude, he went broke to buy you that. You gotta be kidding. Don’t ask him that, particularly not this soon. If you are so emotionally attached to the symbol, rather than the relationship, that’s not a great sign; I’d tell you that the fact he was willing TO go broke to buy it for you demonstrates his level of commitment and interest in YOU, but I see that a lot on these forums.

     

    Seriously, speaking as a male, to a group of mostly females (this, obviously, directed to anyone who worries about the “suitability” of the e-ring,) let it soak in to you that the important thing is the relationship. You have a guy that wants to marry you; he is willing and eager to make a commitment to you that could ruin him financially, leave him destitute, if you later separate; he’s willing to run that risk – a significant one, these days – because he values you, and your relationship, SO MUCH; and all you care about is the size of the diamond he bought you, or the ring setting?

    You should be ashamed of yourselves. Your guys deserve better.

    Post # 51
    Member
    738 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    @almostmrsj:  Yup, hear you.  Same here, Fiance saved and saved (and put up with my complex, “what if? what if??” butt while dating, holy crap, bless his soul) and he has one of those high-maintenance 14-hour a day jobs and I was like, “when did you find the time to research this stone??”  And he says “You have no idea the damn 8pm stops at the jewelers and the mid-day phone calls from them and the emails all while  dealing with 22 vendors for work, etc.”  Was engaged before so I have an idea, but for Fiance, this was ALOT and he managed it for me.  So I know what you are saying =)))  FI covered the ering, wrings and home down payment, and I’m covering the honeymoon.  

    And the wedding band, we have to get matching bands.  It’ll top off seeing his hand holding mine in the middle of the night like he does, with that matching band.  Whatever we get in a few months, won’t change it and will be buried in it.  But that isn’t to say I’m not going to add that anniversary 11-stone band.  lolol

     

    Post # 52
    Member
    29 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @lilsweetie:  I may not be agreeded with but I would just let your husband know youd like to change the setting keep the center the way it is until a big anniversary. Its very common to upgrade so dont feel bad. I’ve been engaged for 5 years and asked for a different setting before our June wedding. At first he was hurt but we had always said we would upgrade my center stones its only 1/2 carat at an anniversary. So i asked for a new setting and am using my center in the new one. He stopped being hurt I explained I loved what he gave me but I wanted a little more as my forever. That is didnt change the commitment and thats what mattered. This statment helped a lot he was like your right and I really dont care if it changes but I wanna buy it. Hope it helps honesty is the best policy, you will wear it forever.

    Post # 54
    Member
    3015 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    Yes, I’d upgrade for a milestone anniversary. I didn’t have to bring it up because he’s already stated he wanted to for our 10th. I like the idea because then we can pass my ring/stone on to our child. Knowing about moissanite now, I don’t think I could let him shell out thousands on a diamond though. We’ll see what happens I guess.

    Post # 55
    Member
    2585 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    @lilsweetie:  I would wait for the right moment to have this conversation. Only you will know when that will be.

     I feel that if you’d like to change your setting than you should, after all you’ll be looking at it for the rest of your life…you gotta love it!!   I have this sweet innocent voice I use on my Fiance when I want something, usually works 🙂

     

    You have a 1.5ct sparkler and you want to swap it out?? Your ring is a beauty! I’ve noticed it on other threads:)

    Post # 59
    Member
    9995 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I would not upgrade; this is the ring my Fiance bought for me, and that’s why I love it.  This ring is a symbol of his promise of love.  This is the ring with the sentimental value.

    Post # 60
    Member
    1231 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: February 2011

    @MR_rosworms:  “Seriously, speaking as a male, to a group of mostly females (this, obviously, directed to anyone who worries about the “suitability” of the e-ring,) let it soak in to you that the important thing is the relationship. You have a guy that wants to marry you; he is willing and eager to make a commitment to you that could ruin him financially, leave him destitute, if you later separate; he’s willing to run that risk – a significant one, these days – because he values you, and your relationship, SO MUCH; and all you care about is the size of the diamond he bought you, or the ring setting?

    You should be ashamed of yourselves. Your guys deserve better.”

     

    Wow, I hope it made you a lot feel better as a man to come onto this board and lecture/talk down to women about their tastes in jewelry. Yeah, I get the overall point of your post – no need to clarify that -, but you come across as a huge jerk. Really, we should be ashamed of ourselves for daring to discuss diamonds on the internet and our guys deserve better? Pfft. OK.

    Post # 61
    Member
    56 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I upgraded after a 2+ year engagement. I say if he’s okay with it, why not?

    The topic ‘Would you consider an upgrade and how would you bring this up?’ is closed to new replies.

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