Post # 1
ok so i have been reading some old posts about bees who found that their wedding was over budget or for who the money did not add up. some of these weddings were huge 300 + guests.
as a bride on a very tiny budget and with a very tiny guest list because of it i was wondering.
if these are you closest family and friends and they know that the money is tight would they be honestly offended if rather than gifts you asked them to pay towards their meal. say 10 bucks a head?
i honestly feel that the people who really care about you and who are you real friends would actually not mind.
i know several of my guests have actually offered but at the momnet we got it covered but if it got to that point whose to say
fyi my reception is 15 bucks a head a small summer bar b cue with a cash bar and no frills but i am very happy knowing that fiance and i will become mr and mrs D with no massive debt from the day
Post # 3
Um, no. A wedding is a party you throw for your friends and family in honor of yourselves. If money is tight, you find a way to squeeze pennies or you go to the courthouse. You can’t afford a wedding, you don’t have one. Simple as that. I’m going to be perfectly blunt when I say that charging your guests is unacceptable and extremely rude. I can honestly say that I probably would not attend your wedding, knowing I have to pay a surcharge to go.
Plenty of brides have made do with teeny budgets. A friend of mine had a full Catholic wedding and reception for 100 people on $2000. Another good friend of mine is getting married in March and is having a tented golf-course wedding with an open bar for 200-250 people that’s only costing them $6k. Have a pot-luck, have a cash-bar, make do with someone’s backyardas a venue, have a friend get ordained online and marry you for free, make your dress, DIY decor. There are tons of ways to have an affordable wedding.
It can be done without charging cover, I assure you.
Post # 4
It’s a wedding not a keggor or a rent party for college kids. You work within your budget for the wedding you can afford and if your friends and family really love you they will understand the low frills wedding, maybe even gift you some money before hand.
I’m having a small budget wedding, and charging people hasn’t even entered my mind. I’m going to work with what I have and know that my family will still have fun and get to see me get married.
Post # 5
@HisIrishPrincess: good i purposely did not say i was appalled when it was suggested i could charge my guests as i wanted to get a feeling for other peoples feelings . i wondered if i was being over sensitive.
i worded the OP in such a way as to hide my true feelings as i wanted opinions
i set my list to my budget if that means not everyone and his cat gets an invite well i am sorry but i have included the people the H2B and i feel are our nearest and dearest
so no you cant bring uninvited guests even if you do say you will contribute to their meal
cheers bees i needed backup to stay strong and say no
Post # 6
@LauraBenbow71: haha good I was going back and forth over wether or not i was being snarky.
Post # 7
I RATHER YOU HAVE A CAKE AND PUNCH RECEPTION THEN WHEN IT IS OVER I CAN GO SOMEWHERE AND HAVE A MEAL THAN ME PAYING FOR MY MEAL AT A WEDDING AND NOT LIKING THE FOOD.
Post # 8
I don’t think it’s that bad of an idea.
Post # 9
@zippylef: thanks i was of the same mind i am doing a full uk church wedding for 50 and have no intention of charging anyone. i just needed some moral support to stand my ground.
i am having some problems with numbers as in people who are expecting to be invited and wont be so i just needed some reassurance that i was on the right track
Post # 10
@LauraBenbow71: Haha. I’m so glad it’s not you that wants to do this. I saw the post and I was like “WTF?!” I wrote that post like 5 times trying not to be super bitchy. Yep, stand your ground and don’t give in to this insanity. Sorry if I came off rude.
Post # 11
If you cant afford to have them there, then dont invite them. its pretty insulting. if i was asked for money i would not go. not that the money would particularly be an issue…..but its not right.
I would have liked a bigger wedding with 100+ guests, but we cant afford it, so have scaled it down to less than 30 because we can afford that.
You have to cut your coat according to your cloth.
Post # 12
I would feel bad/embarrassed doing it, personally. We had money gifted from family members to put towards our wedding, some of which will pay for food. So possibly just see how your parents/family can help out & contribute before the wedding?
Post # 13
just read your last response…..after I posted mine…..
*note to self…..read ALL the posts before posting your own views!* 🙂
Post # 14
No, guests should not be charged to attend your wedding. I’ll back you up!
Post # 15
I answered “no”.
If it were a family matter discussed in private, I might offer to help a sibling with their food budget if I knew we had the money.
As far as having a wedding where guests are expected to pay to attend the reception, it’s up to the bride and groom how they want to do things, and if I were close to one or the other and knew this was coming, I might suggest they try to rearrange their budget or guest list so as to avoid it. If I were really close to them, I’d probably roll my eyes (privately) and just pay the ten bucks. But in general, if I were invited to a wedding with a “cover charge” I’d be RSVPing “no”.
Post # 16
Stand strong! I am sure you will have an awesome wedding on your budget. We also had people offering to pay for Dr. Random Cousin’s plate, which we just answered with a, “OH that’s so sweet but sorry we already sent the list to the caterer.” Whether we had or not at that point I don’t even remember. Heh.