(Closed) Would you consider it rude if…?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 4
1366 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

ZebraPrintMe:  Not rude.

We did not do tosses of any kind, cut our first dance song so it was short, didn’t cut cake, didn’t have a wedding party, sat with our siblings at a round table just like the guests.’

Some people want all those traditions and it’s fine but I think it’s perfectly ok to structure the day in a way that suits you ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 2
5778 posts
Bee Keeper

Nope. I like all the changes you want to make!

Post # 9
2600 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

ZebraPrintMe:  Its not rude but I would think it extremely odd that you were going out of your way to point out things you weren’t doing – just don’t do them. 

For example, it would be much more charming for the DJ to announce that the couple would like everyone to join in their first dance. Or, start the dance by yourselves and then have the DJ invite the guests to join you after a minute or too.

I do think you should rethink getting introduced. You just got married – the introduction is the first public acknowledgement of that and frankly, I think it would be awkward to skip it.

Dont have your Dad make a speech about no speeches – just don’t do them. And definitely don’t allow him or anyone else make a joke about being there to get drunk – that’s just tacky. This is your wedding – not a frat party.

Post # 3
46597 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

ZebraPrintMe:  I’m ok with everything except your Dad suggesting that everyone “just get drunk”. I would hope that people can party and have a good time without getting drunk.

Post # 5
8576 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

I wouldn’t consider it rude, just different but not bad.

Post # 7
122 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

ZebraPrintMe:  I definitely would not call that rude. Weddings should be a reflection of the couple and do what YOU want to do… don’t let traditions dictate that. I’m not planning on doing any of that either! But then, I am only inviting 11 people…

Post # 10
989 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

OP, it sounds like your wedding will be very similar to mine and we’ve actually had a really positive response from everyone ๐Ÿ˜€

We’re doing mismatched bridesmaids, no couples entrance, no speeches, no cake etc 

Post # 8
3857 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

No I don’t think it’s “rude.” Honestly, if anyone thinks anything of the above is “rude” they need their head checked. Will some of the “old timers” and more traditional people think it’s odd? Sure. I am having a non traditional wedding myself in order to make it more about me and my Fiance and less about “traditions.”

Some of these things above are such time wasters anyways. No one will miss three or four speeches. The introduction is something fun, but certainly not necessary. 

My Fiance and I have opted against a head table as well. I particularly find them outdated and unnecessary, especially for the bridesmaids and groomsmen. We will be having a sweetheart table as well. 

Post # 11
1199 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015 - Malibou Lake Mountain Club

ZebraPrintMe:  not rude at all!

First of all, its you guys’ wedding: do what makes you both happy.

Second: people will always talk (from the flowers, to the cake, etc); but they will forget.

Third: doing it you guys’ way will be unique and beautiful.


I am saying this because I have gone to weddings where they have changed a few things, and it was BEAUTIFUL! also, my Fiance and I are from different ethnicities, and have different cultures/beliefs, and BOY will that be different. HAHA.



Post # 12
2457 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Why would any of that be rude!? You’re having your wedding how you want, and it’s going to be fun! I’m sure people will be thanking you instead ๐Ÿ˜‰

Post # 14
1402 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

ZebraPrintMe:  Nope, definitely not rude.  The things you’re removing are typically only things the bride and groom care about.  I would be much happier going to a wedding like yours vs. a more traditional one.  I’d be willing to bet that some people won’t even notice they changes you’re making.

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