(Closed) Would you consider marrying someone your parents do not really like?

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
47458 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
rayyajohny:  If I’m an adult, I would act like an adult. It would be disappointing if my parents’ disapproved, but if I loved him and there was no reason to the contrary, I would marry him.

Post # 3
Member
1348 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2019

I do believe that it can be telling if none of your family or close friends like who you want to marry, but as far as just my parents go it would REALLY depend on the reasons.

If it was something trivial (like how much money he made), then I’d go ahead. But if it was something serious (like they believe he’s manipulative) then I’d at least consider their opinion.

Post # 4
Member
375 posts
Helper bee

I think it depends on the situation. If you have a really good relationship with your parents (i.e. they’re not manipulative and whatnot) and they seem to see something bad in your spouse-to-be, I would probably reconsider it. Sometimes, we can have our blinders on when we’re in the love bubble. There’s always things to ignore, like if your parents are extremely overprotective and will never ever approve of anyone, but…

Post # 5
Member
266 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

Knowing the relationship I have with my parents, I wouldn’t stay with someone they didn’t like.

If I can tell they don’t like him then it must be because of how I’m being treated, if it was just that he wasn’t their type but treated me well then they would never let on that they don’t like him. 

Post # 6
Member
2859 posts
Sugar bee

I’m not going to say I would not pursue a relationship or consider marriage to someone my parents did not like.  But I do have to say, it would raise a huge red flag for me.  They are very supportive and accepting, and if they did not like my significant other, they would have reason for it.

Post # 7
Member
4240 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

After my ex, who as I found out after we broke up none of my friends or family liked, I definitely LISTENED more when family or friends brought up concerns.  Personally I am close with my parents and it always has been important that my husband is comfortable with them and they are comfortable with him.  Fortunately my parents and friends love my husband and he is very good to me so I don’t have to worry about that at all.  I think it’s definitely worth hearing their side.  They after all want the best for you.

Post # 8
Member
258 posts
Helper bee

Nope.  My parents are very good judges of character. 

Post # 9
Member
2118 posts
Buzzing bee

Well my mum passed away when I was 11 and my dad is married to a wench so obviously has a poor judge of character, so yes I would marry someone he didn’t like.

It would be disappointing but i’d get over it.

Post # 10
Member
2087 posts
Buzzing bee

Like others, it would depend on their reasons for not liking him. I’d probably consider it a bit of a red flag if my mom openly disliked someone, because that’s not really how she is.

Post # 11
Member
613 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

My parents are both twice divorced and my mother is dating a drug addicted asshole so I really wouldn’t say they are the best judges of relationships.

Post # 12
Member
423 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

Nope. Every single boyfriend or even just friends that I brought home that my parents didn’t like ended up being a jerk, even though I liked them at the time and vouched for them. I’ve always ended up looking back and asking myself why I didnt listen to them sooner. 

Post # 13
Member
7638 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Yes. I’m an adult and I’m not going to be swayed by my parents’ expectations.

Post # 14
Member
3859 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

I would, but it would be an uncomfortable situation to be in. I’m very close to my mom and siblings and they don’t tend to dislike someone just for the sake of disliking them, so if they didn’t like someone I was dating I would hear them out about why. It may not change my decision to marry that person, but their concerns and opinions wouldn’t fall on deaf ears.

Post # 15
Member
9523 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

As PPs said, depends on their reasons. If they thought he was treating me badly or disrespectfully, and I thought they might be seeing something that I was blind to, I’d take their opinion into account and do more reflecting. But if they didn’t like him because he was just very quiet and awkward around them or something (and I knew he was just very shy around people he didn’t know very well), then nope.

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