Post # 1
Hi everyone. It has been a while since I posted last, but I wanted to ask if you would consider the following situations to be categorized as “abusive” or potentially dangerous situations?
1- When in an argument, throwing objects or flipping things like tables, chairs and taking home decor objects and ripping them off of the wall and throwing it?
2- When angry there’s yelling/cursing very loudly. Name calling or using phrases such as “fuck you”, ” go fuck yourself”, ” you’re acting like a cunt”
3- Smashing electronic objects when mad: remotes, laptop, cell phones
4- Pulling a gun and threatening to kill yourself if you don’t “stop talking”
5- Using experiences as ammo such as taking something you enjoy and telling you how stupid, pointless, wasteful it is to want to do it.
6- Being extremely moody. Going from relative calm to irrational anger in a matter of minutes, often time unprovoked.
My DH has never laid a finger on me, and we have had some ROUGH times. But I am at my breaking point and am thisclose to asking for a separation or divorce. I am fearful that this will only escalate, and I want children but cannot imagine having them with this man. I guess I just need reassurance that I am about to do the right thing, even though on paper we match well together and he is always extremely remorseful for his actions and swears he would never hurt me. I am just afraid. We have a mortgage, car payments, pets and just a whole life together that I am really unsure if we can continue.
Not really sure if I am seeking advice or just trying to find a backbone :/
Post # 2
Every single one of those situations is a dead giveaway for an abusive relationship.
Post # 4
Yes. Without a doubt. This is emotional abuse and violent behavior. You are lucky that he hasn’t laid a hand on you, but this is still abuse. This can in fact get worse…
Post # 5
I’m shocked that you even need to ask. Run. Now.
Post # 6
Uh, yes. Every single example. Number four alone would have me calling the police or demanding he speak to a mental health professional immediately. None of this behavior is acceptable on any level.
Post # 7
- Wedding: September 2012 - Southern California
If not abusive, unstable nonetheless.
Post # 8
Yes, yes and yes thats abuse!
Post # 9
Yes. Highly abusive… And scary. Be careful, OP. Regardless if he has laid a finger on you or not, he is clearly mentally unstable.
Post # 10
100% yes. These are classic abuse signs. There is a whole lot of abuse that can happen before someone lays a finger on you. And this will lead to it. Please leave before that happens.
Post # 11
It makes me lose a bit of faith in humanity that this question needs to be asked.
Post # 12
Definitely in the verge of becoming physically abusive. Run and fast. Not worth it
Post # 13
There are various forms of abuse, and not all are physical. I would consider all the above described situations abuse. The remorse he shows after the abuse is very much part of the cycle of abuse. Sending kind thoughts your way.
Post # 14
Seriously? Anger management issues, threats of violence/death, destroying property, abrupt mood changes, derogatory name calling.
What part of this is not a warning signal? I suggest you seek immediate counselling if you are not ready to leave.
Post # 15
That person sounds like he has a flaming personality disorder and maybe even a mood disorder. Yes, it is abusive. Has he ever been treated for mental health issues?
That BS with the gun should have gotten the cops called and him pink slipped into a psych unit.