(Closed) Would you convert to a new religion for marriage?

posted 11 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Would you convert to a new religion for marriage?

    No, I would never convert, because we are already of the same religion

    No, I would never convert, and we are okay with being of different faiths (including agnostic, etc)

    Yes, I am converting or I have already converted

    Maybe, I am considering converting (and I'll tell you more below)

    No, but he converted for me

    No, but neither of us are religious so the question is sort of irrelevant

    Other situation (explain below!)

  • Post # 47
    Member
    54 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: August 2009

    I converted to Catholicism after much soul-searching, and actually began the process before we were engaged. It was the best decision I have made and really unites us as a family as we begin our life together. We have yet another thing to share and can now join together in a beautiful sacrament.

    I was raised an atheist and never thought I would be saying this. But it is truly the greatest gift my fiance has given me. 

    Post # 48
    Member
    156 posts
    Blushing bee

    I am converting to Judaism (from Catholicism, by name, not practice) not FOR my SO, but THANKS to him. I would never convert if I didn’t believe in the religion. I was never pressured by either him or his family. It is entirely my choice 🙂

    This is a super interesting thread, BTW! So many different Bees, it rocks!

    Post # 49
    Member
    2194 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    We were both raised Catholic (I went to Catholic school ages 5-17; him high school only) and both very consciously left the faith around age eighteen.  Even if this weren’t the case, I would never convert.

    Post # 50
    Member
    11324 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2011

    I would never convert for a guy. I don’t even really get how that works? I mean I believe that you are whatever religion you BELIEVE in. I wouldn’t just go through the motions to get the title of another religion for a guy… seems like betraying your core beliefs imo. 

    Now.. for those of you who say that your FI/DH opened your eyes to a new religion and you truly BELIEVE that that is the religion is for you… thats fine. 

    Post # 51
    Member
    3098 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2009

    I haven’t been put in that situation, but I would never convert personally. I agree with CorgiTales – for me, religion wasn’t something I was born into, it’s my personal beliefs. I couldn’t change them for any other reason than that my beliefs changed. If I did it for any other reason, I wouldn’t feel very true to myself, my beliefs, or the religion.

    Post # 52
    Member
    6571 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2010

    i could never convert. i was dating someone outside of my religion for a very long time before my fi, and religion was a big reason why i broke up with him. we were very serious and while he told me he was fine with raising the kids jewish, i could tell his heart wasn’t in it and he just didn’t care, even though he said he would start researching my religion. and that’s when i decided that it was only jews from then on for me.

    Post # 53
    Member
    776 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I would never convert and was once in the same boat as artbee.  We broke up because of religion, his parents would never have let him marry me.  Really made me wonder if they couldnt love me for me like he did if I even wanted to be in their family.  It was all for the best though because then I met my now fiance whom I can’t wait to marry!

    Post # 54
    Member
    1154 posts
    Bumble bee

    I marked other because I’d never convert for a guy but it’s not an issue not because we have the same religion but because we both don’t have one.  He’s an atheist and I’m agnostic so it’s a good fit.  I’d have a lot of trouble being serious with a believer, I could have probably married a diest or thiest but probably not someone who believed in a real supernatural entity that took actions that affected our world like writing books.  Our values and views would be just too different. 

    Post # 55
    Member
    984 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2010

    I voted other because of my very strange situcation. Fiance and I were both born and raised Lutheran and for our parents’ sake we are getting married by a Lutheran pastor. However,  he is very against organized religion and I am still finding my own path. Right now I am in the process of deciding to convert to Judaism, I’ve started researching and reading, but I haven’t found a Rabbi to talk to yet. I find that a lot of my personal beliefs align with Judaism much more than any form of Christianity. And so far my research and reading has gone well, but the process is long and I may end up deciding not to convert, but for now I would really like to based on what I know so far. Fiance is completely supportive of my decisions and we have already agreed that if I choose to be Jewish how we will raise our children.

    Post # 56
    Member
    2214 posts
    Buzzing bee

    My bf and I are both atheists, so it’s not a problem for us, but I would never “convert.”  Converting for me would be forcing myself to believe in something that I just don’t believe in.  I have never dated anyone religious, and I will never date anyone religious.  There are just too many differences to overcome.  I imagine it would be a huge problem once children are involved because I do not want to raise my kids in a church. 

    Post # 57
    Member
    286 posts
    Helper bee

    Both my Fiance and I are christian…but we are in different denominations…My Fiance is a preacher and if it came to the point where he was pastoring in a different denomination than the one I grew up in, then I would have to pray and meditate about it really hard. I want to support my Fiance in every way but he would never ask me to do it…it would be my choice…

    Post # 58
    Member
    1280 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    my Boyfriend or Best Friend and I are both agnostic/atheist and our families are both relatively non-religiously inclined. but in a different situation, it would depend on the guy.

    Post # 59
    Member
    1565 posts
    Bumble bee

    I am Catholic and he is Jewish. We both said on the first date that neither would convert and we’re both ok with that. I think converting to a different religion should be a personal decision based on an individual’s beliefs and dissatisfaction with their current religion, not something done “for” someone.

    Post # 60
    Member
    3316 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2009

    When I became engaged to my ex-husband, I was not a member of any religion.  He was Jewish.  We found a rabbi who was willing to marry us even though I was not Jewish.  However, because we intended to raise the children as Jewish, I began taking classes in Judaism.  In the course of those classes, I decided to convert.  However, I did so only after deciding that I was committed enough to the religion so that I would want to be a part of it even if I were no longer with him.

    After nearly twenty years of marriage, he left me.  However, I stayed with the religion.  When I married NotFroofy, the big issue was finding a rabbi willing to marry us even though she was not Jewish.

    However, I could no more ask NotFroofy to convert for my sake than I could convert for the sake of my ex-husband.  Unless she was truly committed to it herself, I would rather just have us remain of different religions (or in her case, of no religion).

    Post # 61
    Member
    66 posts
    Worker bee

    I personally would not, for the following reasons.

    -why would you convert to something you don’t have a strong belief in? Religion shouldn’t just be something you casually join and leave in my opinion.

    -I would not be with someone who was not okay with my personal feelings and beliefs the way they are. You don’t marry someone hoping to change them, you marry them for who they are!

    Of course, this is relative because I am not religious, I am agnostic. But I was raised LDS by very staunch believing parents, and from that experienced I have learned that you don’t just join or stay in a religion so you can be married in a certain building, thats ridiculous!

     

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