(Closed) Would you date/marry someone with a child?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Would you?
    Yes : (81 votes)
    32 %
    No : (92 votes)
    37 %
    Maybe, it depends : (78 votes)
    31 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    63 posts
    Worker bee

    I answered no, it’s just not for me.  It works for some people and that’s great, but it would not work for me.

    Post # 5
    Member
    9824 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    Yup! I had a relationship for over 2 years with a man who had a son. I wasn’t trying to be his mother, it was fine.

    I am soon to have two kids, if my husband (God forbid) ever passes away or we divorce, I’d hope people wouldn’t just disregard me for having children. We deserve love too!

    Post # 6
    Member
    2981 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    I may be more concerned with how the bio-mom acted, if she was still around. If she was hell bent on making my and my SO’s life a living nightmare, and my SO couldn’t put a stop to it then no, I wouldn’t pursue the relationship. But let’s just say “he had a kid” and leave it at that. Then yes, I’d date him. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    449 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    OMG is this MY post right now! I have been with FH since I was 19! His son was 8 then. At that time I was all about being MOMMY and how I couldn’t wait for him to officially be my step son and all the things we would do. Now its 9 years later, we are still in seperate homes due to finances. His son is a rotten 17 year old and I am sooo not wanting to be “mommy” because I would be disciplining the shit out of him! Anywho… lol, I have none of my own yet and yes I have ALWAYS wondered what he thinks of me, if he REALLY likes me or is trying to be nice, what’s real what’s not, what’s important of whats real and whats not. 

    OMG complicated! I never thought OH I won’t date someone with kids but I was so young when I met Darling Husband that I hadn’t thought of it or thought I would need to think about it. It was okay. Honestly I’m verrrrrry needy of attention and constant love so I wasn’t the leats bit ready for there to be a child in the situation to be honest because I need so much attention I was always afraid his son would notice and would resent me and now I have to hope he didn’t and doesn’t. 

    But this is just ME. In less complicated situations I think it would be COMPLETELY awesome.

     

    SOrry for the long post 😉 

    Post # 8
    Member
    6015 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I’ve dated a guy with a kid.  He was an ass and couldn’t blame the mom for leaving him!  That said, my mom had 3 boys when she met my dad.  He’s the only dad they’ve ever had.  They dated a long time and by the time she had me and my brother, my older brothers were getting married themselves.  I just thank god that my dad was that amazing of a man, to take on a wonderful woman and her three boys, and that my mom was amazing enough to know this man should have kids.

    It’s tough but I also have a friend who just got married. She has three boys from previous relationship.  they bought a house, got married and they are PREGGERS now.  The man she married is amazing, he treats those boys like his own. 

    If you can’t get past the petty bs from the “bio”s and make your own relationship with the kids that come with the person you love, than you should step back. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    449 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    I should maybe also add for my situation.. the ex walked out when his son was like 1 or 2 so there was never any drama or competition type of thing going on there. SO it was always one less thing to worry about, for me anyway.

    Post # 10
    Member
    784 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2012

    I’ve dated one. He was reeeeally fun. But before things got serious, I really evaluated how I felt about it. For me, it is very important to me for us both to hold our baby for the first time together…that moment together. That’s really important to me. Personal preference tho!! I met my FH actually RIGHT after him… =)

    Post # 11
    Member
    1458 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    I don’t think I could handle it, especially because I’m incredibly jealous and dealing with baby mama drama is NOT my scene.

    Post # 12
    Member
    5668 posts
    Bee Keeper

    No. I don’t want kids so I wouldn’t put myself in that position.

    Post # 13
    Member
    1056 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I’m 34 and my fiancé has twins whom are soon to be 15. For me it’s not that big of a deal, it was weird at first but I fell in love with him so that means accepting him for his past and for his kids. Problem has been that sadly enough his ex girlfriend is that he doesnt even get to see them or talk to them anymore because she won’t allow them to.

    Post # 14
    Member
    1133 posts
    Bumble bee

    I think it’s hard to not offend people with the question and the responses. I mean, I’m sure everyone has their preference but to completely rule someone out because they have a child?? I don’t know, that’s not something I could do. If you have chemistry and feel something for them, it wouldn’t matter to me. Is it ideal? No, it’s not. But if my SO had a child I don’t think I could’ve turned away from him. But I guess if you would, then he just wouldn’t be the right man for you. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    1056 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    Dup. Sorry

    Post # 16
    Member
    9056 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I voted maybe. I’m pretty sure it would be a situation that I wouldn’t have let start up but I suppose i would have done it of somebody had blown me away very early in a relationship. I don’t have my own children yet and selfish as it might be I want the first child I help raise to be mine and to be able to choose when they come in to my life. 

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