(Closed) Would you do this?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
11167 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

Uh, no I wouldn’t feel comfortable at all. Unless she is paying for your food that isn’t really something she has the right to offer I would think.

Can’t she take photos to show you? A quick text or two to get the idea?

Post # 4
5763 posts
Bee Keeper

Sure (except for the eating and drinking part). We did it for a few places we were considering, and asked specifically when they were having the next weddings so we could go down and see the layout of the tables and how things were being done. It was really helpful in seeing the things we liked and what we wanted to change.

If the bride doesn’t mind, I’d go. There’s no reason to be there during the reception, but for the setup? Sure!

Post # 5
3364 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I personally, wouldnt do that. UNLESS I got an OKAY from the Bride herself. Or I’d happily wait or pictures that the Decorater could show me another time in person or via email.

Post # 6
635 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@luvmyDwight: Can you stop in after it’s decorated but before guests get there? I might do this if I knew I’d be able to get in and out without being noticed. And I’d decline to eat or drink anything, of course.

Post # 7
6009 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

I think I would be ok dropping by BEFORE the reception started, but not during…  Maybe you can ask if that would be possible?  Plus, you’d get a better view of the decoration if there aren’t a ton of people all over the place.

Post # 9
5494 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2011

I would stop by very briefly once everything was decorated but before the wedding began.  I would never just show up and eat other people’s food.  It’s not hers to offer!! 

Post # 11
849 posts
Busy bee

I know a lot of brides who would flip out if some random appeared at their wedding! I wouldn’t do it unless you really wanted and the bride and groom were cool with it. Just ask her for pictures or something.

Post # 12
46421 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think that is very unprofessional of her to suggest that you do that. I would want an assurance from her that it is ok with the couple to stop by before they have arrived at the reception for a brief look. I would definitely not snoop around at the recpetion irself.

Post # 13
6248 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 1900

I stopped by my venue while the caterer was setting up to see the decor and the venue when it was set up for a wedding.  But I would not show up when the guests were there.  And I certainly would not crash the wedding and start eating and drinking!  I’m surprised that the decorator suggested that.  Sounds very odd to me.

Post # 14
4887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I would never take part in someone else’s food and drink, and I also wouldn’t use this particular vendor – sounds to me like your wedding would be an open invite as well.

Post # 15
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I would have a look round but not during the wedding reception itself – perhaps a quick tour before they come by?

But yes, I would never attend a wedding and “eat drink and be merry” – that’s just rude. I would be mortified if a stranger showed up at my wedding, ate my food and drank my alchohol that I paid for.

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