(Closed) Would you do this? When I found out I was a bit upset.

posted 7 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
1297 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Does he have a plan to pay it back? I do see what you are saying, but I also feel that if he has a plan and will be responsible in paying back that 4k, then I wouldn’t make a big deal out of it?

Post # 4
Member
2158 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Did you discuss the idea of going into debt for a wedding beforehand? If there was no discussion about this, he may have just thought this was perfectly fine.  I assume he wasn’t trying to keep it hidden from you.  If he just now got to pay it off it may have just been his lifestyle, and he didn’t know that you were opposed to this.  How did he react to your not liking this? If he’s willing to change that, then I’m sure it will work out fine! 

Post # 5
Member
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

Well guys think totally differently. He probably thought, well I have these funds avalible to me, why not use it for the wedding. If you have never talked to him about your views of going into a marriage in debt, then he may have thought it was fine! I would talk to him about your financial expectations now before you are married and after your married and make sure you two are on the same page, but I wouldnt be to mad right now. Just talk it out, hear him out etc. I would be irratated but I dont think it warrents calling off an engagement. I dont know if thats what you meant by “my fiance (Im not so sure anymore)” But thats what it seems like. 

Post # 6
Hostess
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

It sounds like the two of you are in need of a money talk about how you feel about debt, what you have, your goals, etc.  Every couple needs to do that before they get married.

Post # 7
Member
891 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Going into debt for a wedding might not be a good option, it’s a time when you should just try to start a bit “fresh”, and clean. And as MissAsB wrote in her post, I do agree about the money talk. I hope you sort this out though!

Post # 9
Member
5984 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1999

@JJsGirl_09:  Debt is something that nobody wants….especially when starting a marriage.  However, it really depends on what you two agree upon and how you’ll manage it.   If you don’t want to go into debt, you may need to reconsider what type of a wedding you’ll have. Good Luck!   

Post # 10
Member
630 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I know how you feel, Fiance put all the rings on his card 🙁

Post # 11
Member
878 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

You guys need to take the Dave Ramsey Financial peace course NOW- credit cards are really bad

Post # 12
Member
891 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@JJsGirl_09: What I would do myself: Wait for the wedding until there is a steady economy going on in the household, everyhting has been taken care of/settled in, and you guys are on the same line. I would feel better doing it that way, specially if kids are involved. Good luck!

 

Post # 13
Member
463 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I agree with PPs, you guys need to have a money talk!  Ask your Fiance if he has a plan to pay back the $4000.  Ask him what the plan is for the usual monthly bills you guys have.  Communication is always key.

Post # 14
Member
3368 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I think you’re wise not to want your married life to start out in debt.  Maybe he is just willing to do whatever he can to provide you with what he thinks you want.  Take the opportunity to discuss your budget as a couple.  If you don’t use the credit card, will you have to make changes to your wedding plans?

Post # 16
Hostess
18643 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

@JJsGirl_09: Just a word of advice, any debt he goes into when you are married (even if you don’t know about it), is still your responsibility.  You need to get a handle on this.

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