(Closed) Would you donate your eggs?

posted 7 years ago in Pregnancy
  • poll: Would you donate your eggs?
    Yes : (86 votes)
    43 %
    No : (106 votes)
    52 %
    Other (see below) : (10 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 47
    286 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2014

    I really admire people who do wonderful things like this for family members, but I really don’t think I could ever do something like this. Maybe I would have before I had kids, but now I’d just feel terribly weird knowing that my sister was raising my biological child. Especially if it looked like me or my children, I think that would be too much for me. If it’s what you want then go for it, but if you’re not sure about donating your eggs then definitely take time to think about it and don’t let anyone pressure you into doing something you’re not comfortable with. 


    Post # 48
    328 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    @MsBlackberry:  Good luck to you and your family. I’m keeping my fingers crossed for your sister.

    Post # 49
    1723 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 1998

    @serenitea:  If you want everyone to pat you on the back and to simply tell you what you want to hear, a forum is not the right place for it. Many of your responses to other posters have been baselessly aggressive and presumptive. I am saying that while I understand your sister’s grief at the prospect that she can’t have another child, she does have a healthy child. It would be different if she had no children at all and found herself unable to have one.

    You expect advice from people, but you will simply respond with, “You don’t know my situation…” Of course we don’t. We aren’t in your situation and no one but you could possibly have all of the information. We respond with what you tell us. If you don’t want it, your best bet is not to go on a message board asking for help.

    I agree it would be great if she’s able to have a second biological child. I am saying that she also has to be pragmatic about her situation, and to find a way to find solace if she can’t have another child.


    Post # 50
    9134 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

    @serenitea:  I would absolutely do this for family (or a really really really close friend.)  I would feel more comfortable about doing it after having already had a child for myself but that is because I suspect I would be somewhat jealous of her pregnancy if I didn’t have my own child.  Other than that, I would get tested for the gene and donate away.  Definitely realize that it may cause different emotions to see your sister raise what is essentially your biological child (and you have no say in how s/he is raised.)  I think it would be a good idea to talk to a counselor before, during, and after the process so you cand eal with any unexpected feelings.

    Post # 51
    9134 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

    Update: Can’t they use IVF to test her embryos for the gene before implantation?  Or is it too expensive?

    Post # 55
    2285 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: Central Park

    For someone I love, yes, I’d do it. But not out of the kidness of my heart for a stranger.

    Post # 57
    7977 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

    I would do it, especially if I had a sister or a cousin.

    There are many cultures where it is common for sisters and cousins to exchange biological children, usually for reasons of “family balancing”, if one has mostly girls and the other mostly boys, for example.

    EDIT: If I were in your position, I would also want to go down the IVF and testing route. Sadly for me, Fiance supports the Catholic church’s position on fertility treatments and life beginning at fertilisation, so he would not support this. We would probably just take the chance during natural conception… which is not ideal.

    Post # 58
    3460 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    @serenitea:  Yup, I saw that was a problem for you (the gene), but thought I’d respond anyways in case someone else reading would be interested.  It’s very unfortunate for her, it must be so crazy hard to keep hitting that 25% chance of having a kid with it and terminating. 

    It wasn’t so much the known medical risks that worried me as the long-term ones they didn’t know about (ok that and the small like 2% chance of really mucking yourself up).  It’s been about 10 years since I once considered it so maybe that has changed and they have more data.  But since I did (do) want kids of my own, I didn’t want to risk it.  Now of course I’m right on the verge of being too old anyhow except in maybe a specific donor situation to say, my sister.

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