Would you drive 8 hours in one day for a birthday party with two toddlers?

posted 1 year ago in Family
Post # 31
793 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
hawk22 :  heck no! I wouldnt drive that much for a bday party even without kids. If you cant make a weekend trip out of it, I’d decline. Way too much driving for one day.

Post # 32
779 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2019

I wouldn’t drive 8 hours for a birthday party ever, with kids or without. 

Post # 33
8283 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

Not in a million years. 

Post # 34
2066 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

“Traveling for a brirthday party is ridiculous, IMO.”

This is a ridiculous and overgeneralized statement. It’s ridiculous to travel for a birthday? Your favorite uncle’s 100th birthday? Your cousin’s 40th after surviving a year of cancer treatment? Your mom’s 60th birthday the year she retires from 40 years of teaching and you haven’t seen her in a year? I mean, obviously it is not always “ridiculous” to travel for a birthday. It’s completey on a case by case basis.

OP, 8 hours is very long and I would definitely do an overnight. However, with 2 young kids, this may not be feasible at this stage and there’s nothing wrong with saying that to the sibling in question. It’s an honest and reasonable response. It also sounds like you don’t particularly like this person, so it wouldn’t be urgent for me unless I wanted the relationship to change.

Post # 35
1078 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2019 - City, State

Hell no. 

Post # 36
3065 posts
Sugar bee

View original reply
mimivac :  totally agree. I’d see it as an excuse to hang out with loved ones I don’t see all that often. The fact that it’s a happy occasion like a bday is the icing on the cake …I don’t get the hate. 🤷‍♀️ 

not that OP should feel at all obligated of course. Whether or not I attended would depend entirely on how much I actually like the person in question lol. 

Post # 37
1002 posts
Bumble bee

My H’s family lives 4 hours away. We’ve kind of indicated to family that we want to be invited to all the things (that the whole family is invited to of course) and we’ll come some times and not other times depending on our schedule and stuff. We usually stay the night, but it’s not crazy. We went to my SIL’s birthday party this year (she turned 32, it was low key) because it just happened to be a good weekend to visit family. 

I don’t think anyone should expect us to drive 8 hours round trip for showers, engagement parties, birthday parties, baptisms, etc. but it’s not absurd that some times we’ll go to things since we want to stay involved in our family. We decline about 1/2 the time with just a “We can’t make the trip this time, sorry!” and we send a gift if appropriate. I don’t think it’s rude because we try and make the effort when we can. With 2 kids and given you don’t seem to plan to stay overnight (we always stay overnight) I would skip it and send a thoughtful gift and card.

Post # 38
196 posts
Blushing bee

Hell No

Post # 39
7312 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

no fkn way

Post # 40
10524 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

View original reply
hawk22 :  

Good lord no, unless it was a weekend away thing. You say two toddlers, but one of them is not a toddler but a babe and shouldn’t be in a car seat for four hours anyway.


Post # 41
47412 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

View original reply
hawk22 :  No. Our family has no expectations that anyone other than siblings and parents should be included in children’s birthday parties before they are of school age. After that, they get to invite the same number of guests as they are old.

Post # 42
1607 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019 - City, State

Not for a party 

Post # 43
164 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

View original reply
hawk22 :  Literally never.

Post # 44
167 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

I have a 14 month old, I would say no. But again we never really travelled with him before. My fault though cause I’m scared to especially over night LOL. 

Post # 45
521 posts
Busy bee

I wouldnt do it even without kids, or if i did do the drive id stay the night

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