(Closed) Would you drop a bridesmaid/groomsman if they couldn't make the rehearsal?

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Would you drop a bridesmaid/groomsman if they couldn't make the rehearsal?



  • Post # 61
    1856 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: April 2016

    Gosh, I’d WANT to be dropped from this wedding party 😒

    Post # 62
    50 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: December 2017

    View original reply
    kimlynn95: I assume (read:hope) you ask this because you are worried they are missing something super important? Let me put your mind at ease: the rehearsal is not important AT ALL for anyone other than you and your fiancé. While it is very nice to have your friends there to suppoert you, and see each other before the big day, unless he/she has never seen a wedding before, they will be able to easily learn what they missed at any point later that evening or the next day. Nothing to worry about!

    The rehearsal is really to run through things with the officiant to calm pre-wedding nerves, and make sure you understand the order of everything. You wedding party is there to get a feel for the space, and cheer you on. They will not learn much, and missing it won’t be a probelm at all. 

    Definitely don’t kick anyone out for this. Especially if it is at noon on a work day? I might buy a bottle of wine for anyone who COULD come to that…

    On the other hand, if you are asking this because you feel missing your mid-day rehearsal is a punishable offense, and then your friends deserve to be “kicked out”… wow. I don’t even know what to say. I feel sorry for your bridal party. I bet they thought you were friends.

    Post # 64
    625 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    This may be the first time I have seen a WB poll with so many votes be 100%.

    Post # 65
    4226 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom


    We are all grown women who want the same thing: an amazing wedding day. I am sure everyone here has sweated the small stuff at least once or twice during the wedding planning process (myself included). How do we know that the bridesmaid/groomsman in question hasn’t been a total douche during the whole wedding prep process, and this is just the final straw?

    Post # 66
    413 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2016

    View original reply
    snowflake8:  OP hasn’t hinted that any of the party have been douches; OP stated that they simply can’t get off For the rehearsal. Unless they’re doing a dance routine or something else coming down the aisle, what can be so hard about following the person before you in a straight line???…unless they’re intoxicated. 😒

    Post # 67
    13653 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    View original reply
    kimlynn95:  I think you are confusing two very different things. If, by “principle”  you mean attending rehearsal is  among the list of things included in the “role” or traditional “duties” of the wedding party, no one can argue with that. Would I, as a Bridesmaid or Best Man,  make an reasonable effort to attend the rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner if possible, sure. 

    But should your closest friends be  kicked out “on principle” if this is, in fact, not  practical or doable? Are you kidding us?! Their primary job, and the most important one bar none, is simply to stand in support of you on your wedding day. 

    As others have said, the rehearsal is most important for you. The wedding party can be shown what to do ten minutes before the ceremony and no one would ever know the difference. 


    Post # 68
    160 posts
    Blushing bee

    Wow. You seem like a great friend. I think you should do them a favor and drop them from the wedding. Clearly your priorities are a bit skewed. And the fact that you can’t believe no one voted ‘yes’ just reinforces this. Far better for you to stand up there alone than assume your ‘friends’ can’t walk in a straight line and stand still for 15 minutes then walk back down the aisle in a straight line. I mean, unless your friends are 13 and have never been to a wedding before.

    Seriuosly, wow.

    Post # 69
    2538 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    View original reply
    kimlynn95:  One of our groomsman let us know the night before our rehearsal that he wouldn’t be able to make it because he had signed up last minute to do a flash mob with his pilates instructor. True story.

    Post # 70
    2196 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    Out of 6 bridesmaids, only one of mine could make it to the rehearsal. Everything was fine. 

    Post # 71
    183 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

    Is this a for real question? no..no…no.. I had to miss a rehearsal because I had another friend’s wedding. Big deal? Nope.

    Post # 72
    1552 posts
    Bumble bee

    Rehearsal isn’t so much about the rehearsal itself, it’s more about going out to eat afterward and celebrating. Unless you’re planning some elaborate dance down the aisle, your wedding party should be able to figure out how to walk in a straight line and stand next to you for a few minutes. You absolutely don’t drop a member of the wedding party if they can’t make it!

    Post # 73
    13906 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    Is this for real?  You’d ask some of the most important people of your life to not participate because they can’t make the rehearsal?  As adults, they are probably very capable of walking down to the aisle when told.  

    Post # 74
    5778 posts
    Bee Keeper

    Absolutely kick them out!  What if one of your bridesmaids thinks she’s the one who gets to kiss the groom because she didn’t learn what’s what at your rehearsal. I wouldn’t take chances on some girl playing tonsil hockey with my man on my special day just because she wasn’t willing or able to lose a day’s pay to come to my rehearsal. 

    Post # 75
    471 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    Yes if don’t want them to be your friends anymore.

    They should just quit theit jobs. The rehearsal is more important.

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